Comments on: Manslations Reader Request: Is he anti-marriage, or anti-ME? Shelby’s tale.

By: mmagnolia

mmagnolia — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 02:39:32 +0000

Thx, JMdearie….It’s wisdom [even, via a 3rd hand!] 2know *manly* perspective of what a divorce is “reminiscent of”. Pausing here, 4some Woe la la!

Ms. ‘laurie’, t’was sad 4sure—but, “brand new girlfriend” is always a better Blessing B4 the wedding than !after…sooo, Cheers2U!

By: laurie

laurie — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 19:57:18 +0000

Not so sure you’re right about that. 5 years many comments on. I wished I had met you before my exwife… we are such a perfect fit. …. would you consider moving in with me???? ended with… he got a brand new girlfriend.

By: Jeff Mac

Jeff Mac — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 13:36:05 +0000

Shelby: Listen, let me tell you something — if he got this message in 12 hours, he is a better man than I. Took me MONTHS to get my head around this conversation.

For what it’s worth, his response seems to me like things are very much on the right track. I think that, given time (and if the 2 of you are really right) he’s not going to let you get away over the “M” word.

By: Shelby

Shelby — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 20:23:35 +0000

Your advice was followed as closely as the situation permitted. (This is a long story which would keep you laughing for weeks, but let’s just say it’s best to keep your computer encrypted.) Well, if you’ve ever seen a deer in headlights…this is how my boyfriend looked when we had The Conversation. I tried to explain that marriage was only something I was considering in my future ONE DAY…in the FUTURE. MAYBE. But, what he heard was obviously something different and it took more than 12 hours to set his mind at ease. One would have thought he’d been hogtied and was being fed a slow drip of Ipecac. The final outcome? He said he doesn’t know HOW he feels about the subject. Claims to know how he feels about me, but the ‘M’ word is off limits, as he is a confirmed bachelor.

By: Shelby’s Man Has a Friend Who Is a Woman…a Reader Request « Manslations

Wed, 17 Oct 2007 11:36:25 +0000

[...] Reader, commenter, and requester Shelby is back for another round. She wrote earlier about her “anti-marriage” man, and what that might mean for them. Well, apparently, he’s still not [...]

By: Jeff Mac

Jeff Mac — Thu, 30 Aug 2007 02:02:16 +0000

Shelby — sounds like a good opportunity to me. You’ll have just passed a big relationship milestone. Just keep the pressure low, and get the topic on the table. Good luck!

By: Shelby

Shelby — Wed, 29 Aug 2007 23:57:54 +0000

Hello and thank-you! We’re taking a trip in 7 weeks. (His mother is meeting us at the destination too, which means I’ll be meeting her. Yikes!) I’m thinking if all goes well maybe after we return might be a good time to initiate the conversation?

By: Jeff Mac

Jeff Mac — Wed, 29 Aug 2007 12:58:52 +0000

Alannah: Excellent advice. Sometimes women do seem to make outrageous excuses for what a man is actually explaining outright.
“No, no. He totally loves me. He tells me by ignoring me. You know, because he’s shy.”

Shelby: Good luck, and let us all know how it goes! (And please don’t actually hunt me down. I am a coward, and am not in good enough shape to run away in a manner to which I am emotionally suited.)

By: Shelby

Shelby — Tue, 28 Aug 2007 20:46:56 +0000

Thank-you, Jeff!! I often have conversations with him that seem to end up deepening the intimacy of the communication in our relationship so I will wait for the “right time” and I’ll use your wonderful advice! I have great respect for the valuable advice you give your Manslatees so I have no doubt things will go well. Should they not, well…I’ll have to hunt you down! (Kidding!!) Thanks again!!

By: Alannah

Alannah — Tue, 28 Aug 2007 20:34:22 +0000

I think a common mistake women make is to hear what a man says (such as “I’m anti-marriage.”) and take that as a challenge, like, “Well, he’ll be different with ME,” instead of taking it to mean EXACTLY WHAT HE SAYS.

I speak from experience.