manslations

Man Leaves his Dead Mother’s Corpse in Armchair for Two Years: Hitchcock Estate Mulls Lawsuit

You know, there are so many things wrong with this story, it’s hard to even list them while smiling this hard. Gosh, I love this story. He left her body in her chair because he couldn’t bear to make funeral arrangements. Emotionally, I assume. At least I hope so, anyway. I’ve got to think it isn’t just because of the hassle. That would seem wrong, if you think about it.

By the way, for all you moms out there, the next time you think your son isn’t paying enough attention to you — he doesn’t call, he doesn’t write, when is he going to get married — just take a moment to consider this man and count your blessings. If not for you, for his neighbors — I’m sure you smell great now, but after a couple of years sitting in your favorite chair posthumously, you’re going to affect the property values.

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United Arab Emirates Man Nearing 100 Children:

Daad Mohammed Murad Abdul Rahman, 60, has 78 children, and he’s currently shopping around for brides to handle the final 22. I just hope he’s saving up for therapy times 100 — these kids are screwed.

Actually, this is a great insight into the male mind. This is how a lot of men really do view children — as another way to keep score. Men love to keep score on anything. That’s why men don’t read things like “Memoirs of a Geisha.” I bet it’s almost impossible to tell who won and who lost at the end of that thing.This is why some men love sports. Somebody’s the bad ass, and somebody’s the loser, and everybody knows who it is. It says right there on a huge sign they put up.

I’m not saying that fathering children is a sport, per se. But I’ll tell you this much — uh…if you dress up like a cheerleader, the guy will definitely be more likely to get inspired? (Note to self: when beginning a sentence with “But I’ll tell you this much” make sure you have something to say after it, or it gets weird.)
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Serbian Village Unveils Rocky Statue in Town Square, Sylvester Stallone Considers Moving There

So, I guess this is how much men really love the movie ‘Rocky’. A ten foot tall statue of him — nearly 7 feet taller than Rocky himself.

(Evidently they don’t rememember how mad Rocky himself got at that very statue during Rocky 4. Right after Apollo’s death, he throws his helmet at it super hard in a tiny little fit of rage.)

This is a prime example of what it MEANS vs. what it DOES. I often say that women seem more likely to focus on the meaning or significance of a thing, while men are more likely to focus on what it DOES. Well, here it is, right here.

Clearly, no woman said, “You know what would really speak to who we are as a village — something that would say to the world who and what we stand for? A statue of an imaginary American boxer from the 70s who has nothing to do with us.”

It sounds more likely that some man thought, “You know what kicks ass? Rocky! You know what would kick MORE ass? If he was 10 feet tall!”

Ugh. Congratulations, villagers. You’ve just become a Planet Hollywood franchise.

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And finally, here are a couple of links to OTHER dating advice sites that you should all be checking out:

Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40

-The Dating Goddess earns her name daily, with articles, internet dating reports, book reviews and more. Fun, funny, and irreverent.

Dating Advice (Almost) Daily

-Terry MacDonald talks about how to attract the man of your dreams through the Law of Attraction, PLUS occasional reviews of VH1′s “Rock of Love.” You’ve got to love that combo. Check her out!

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Well, that does it for this week at Manslations.com. There were a whole bunch of reader requests, and there are a whole bunch more coming up. So if you sent one in, don’t worry, I’ll get to yours soon. For everyone else — what are you waiting for?

See you next week!