BF had been a serial cheater. BF cheated in the early months of our relationship, then stopped. A few months later annouced to all his friends he was ‘going to be faithful to this one’ (I know Ladies, a real charmer). More than 6 months after that I found evidence and confronted him (having been suspicious anyway) and he admitted to 4 one night stands in the first few months and load of other stuff from before me. Most of me believes him. I moved out and he has spent 10 months being so attentive and pretty damn wonderful. And has given me passwords to everything so I can reassure myself whenever I want.

He’s doing so much that part of me thinks I should give myself a kick up the arse and stop worrying. The other part of me is worried that having been really quite bad in the past its all just more of an act. If he’s found time to be up to something it’s been during work time and he’s been incredibly careful to be accountable for his whereabouts.

I really want to move on but I am struggling

A true cheater (as opposed to someone who makes a mistake and can actually keep himself from doing it again) is banking on coming up with what you want him to say, rather than the real truth.

Good luck, hatty. I think the only way to restore trust is by both of you being 100% honest, and by both of you believing that the other one is being 100% honest. I wish you the best in this.

Loirelai: You certainly know how to make a blogger blush! I am very happily not single, but I DO know something about narcissistic men. I’ll have to drag myself away from the mirror to write about it, of course. But I’ll post something up here about it.