manslations

Hello there, ladies. And, apparently, gentlemen as well…

I received a reader request from one of them — a dude! “Eric the BeehiveHairDresser” has a “friend” who gets hit on by guys all the time, and he wants to know why. Let’s see if Manslations can help.

I know I like to put the reader requests in pink. But since Eric the BeehiveHairDresser is a man, let’s go with blue, shall we? Eric writes:

Hi Jeff,

I have this male “friend” of mine who constantly gets hit on by guys, and only over the course a bunch of years of adulthood has this “friend” of mine finally realized that these men are actually hitting on him. Now, my “friend” is straight, why do men like to hit on my young, innocent, goodlooking male “friend”?

Also, if over the course of a casual conversation while in a corporate casual workplace this “friend” innocently asks one of his male admirers about what he was up to on the weekend, and gets a roll of the eyes and “going out to Fire Island” as an answer, what does that mean?

Yours Truly,

Eric The BeehiveHairdresser aka The Man With A “Friend” Who Would Like A Manslation

Dear Eric the BeehiveHairdresser,

First of all, I’d just like to say that you’re a true friend for writing this request on behalf of another guy, who is a separate guy entirely, and in no way you.

As a straight guy, I can’t say with 100% certainty what’s going on with your gay suitors. However, I’d say this — I DO know that straight men usually only like to hit on women with whom they would like to hump. There’s no other reason, obviously.

(Manslator’s Note: I didn’t even learn that in college — just figured it out on my own. Wow, I really AM a genius — just like that dude who lives in my mirror keeps telling me!)

Now, why would a gay guy hit on a straight guy? Well, it could be one of two things: Either these men:

1. …think that he might be secretly gay, OR
2. …don’t care whether he is gay or not.

Since it’s happening a lot, I’d say the first one would make sense — but I don’t know why they’d think that about you. It could be:

• just wishful thinking on their part
• you have the gay Kevorka
• you’re a Republican Senator from Iowa.
• you visit a website called “Manslations,” and that your name on that site includes the word “hairdresser” in it.

Who can say? It’s a mystery.

Seriously, I don’t know what’s causing the gaydar to go on the fritz. But I’d say don’t worry about it. Gays can smell fear. No, wait, that’s not right. Uh…”They’re more afraid of you than you are of them?” No, that’s not it either.

Maybe we can get some help in the comments section on that one from some of our resident gay men.

(Carl, Little Rob, Chardo, you got your ears on? Come on back, 10-4. Aw, crap. I knew I should have had that gay “bat signal” installed.)

MANSLATION: False Positive on the Gaydar

Honestly, seems like these guys are fishing. For whatever reason, they think you might be gay, and they’re taking their shot with you.

I mean…your “friend.” Sorry, totally forgot. Can’t imagine how — you guys are nothing alike!

-Jeff Mac

Ladies and gay male manslatees? What say you? Why is our friend Eric’s “friend” in this situation?