manslations

- or How to Drive Your Man Wild in Bed, Revisited

Ok, wow. Ladies, I have to tell you, I am shocked and awed. You have shocked me. With your Googling behavior. I’m shocked enough to have devised a new feature for Manslations.com

“Drive Him Wild” Occasional Wednesdays.

That’s fire, people. See how that works? See how serious this is?

As you may or may not know, I look at the hit counter/statistics for this website, oh, let’s say once every 30 seconds or so. (Nothing obsessive. Just a calm, relaxed, passing interest. And I can stop anytime I want. I just check my web stats SOCIALLY, ok?)

One of my favorite statistics is the “Search Terms” section, which tells me what someone Googled to get to Manslations.com. Let me tell you something, I have learned a LOT about the women of the world from this stuff. For example, I did a post a while back about “How to Drive Your Man Wild in Bed.” It’s basically a man’s response to all those hilarious “417 Tips to Blow His Mind!” articles in the various women’s magazines that tell you to, I don’t know, dress up like a girlscout and throw cookies at his eyes. (I’m not saying he’d turn that down by the way. But come on. Let’s all just take a deep breath.)

Anyway, the version that I wrote gets…well, a BUNCH of traffic. Like, every single day. Here’s just one part of one day with the search terms:

That’s just a part of one day.

You naughty, naughty googlers.

Uh, evidently there is some interest out there in finding answers to this question.

Well, I, Jeff Mac, am here to help. From now on, every once in a while on a Wednesday (how’s that for commitment!), I will post a tip on how to drive your man wild in bed. I’m probably not going to get too graphic about it. I was born in Connecticut where embarrassment over talk about sex is the leading cause of stroke, heart attack, and spontaneous fainting. But hey, there’s a need, and I’m here to help.

(Manslator’s Note: Should I begin to blush too hard, this feature will have to end. It’s my health, people.)

TODAY’S TIP

You want to drive your man wild in bed? You really want to? Tell him that you are looking into this subject. Seriously. That’s it. I’m not kidding.

How will that help?

1. It will tell him you’re interested in driving him wild in bed. Men like to be driven wild in bed, but they REALLY like the idea that their woman WANTS to do the driving. And if she’s actually doing some investigative work on the subject? Mama pajama…
2. If you tell him you Googled this, it will start a conversation. “Really? You actually Googled that? What did you find out?” and on it will go. And the conversation will probably lead you to the stuff that is EXACTLY what will drive him — as in, specifically him and not just some generic ‘trick’ that somebody came up with — wild in bed. Which is what you REALLY want to know, trust me.
3. The conversation will probably end up with the 2 of you IN the bed, trying out what you’ve learned.

If you tell him that you were studying up on how to drive him wild and it doesn’t get things going…uh, we regret to inform you that your man is a moron.

Good luck, you naughty, naughty googling ladies, you. I hope your man is as wild as you can stand. And seriously, just knowing that you WANT to know how will get him pretty wild already.