Comments on: The Twoface Pulls an Anger Smokescreen: a reader request

By: The Dangers of Over-Manslating Him « Manslations

The Dangers of Over-Manslating Him « Manslations — Wed, 05 Dec 2007 12:18:28 +0000

[...] The Anger Smokescreen (ahhh, our old nemesis) and what you accuse him of is, in fact, the truth. I guess it depends on what his “attempts to be intimate” were like. Is he only interested in spending intimate time with you? Does he seem to want to be around you even when you’re just talking, hanging around? [...]

By: Why Might He Want Nude Pics? a Reader Request « Manslations

Why Might He Want Nude Pics? a Reader Request « Manslations — Tue, 13 Nov 2007 12:26:47 +0000

[...] it on YOU when you got upset (see the post about the Anger Smokescreen). Notice that he NEVER listened to your concerns. Ever. He said that YOU were weirding HIM out [...]

By: Jeff Mac

Jeff Mac — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 11:36:34 +0000

JD: Yeah, sometimes the simple (i.e. douchebag) solution takes time to even SEE it. Good for you for finally putting the kibosh on it!

Pam: Sounds very “cornered animal,” this guy does. The Anger Smokescreen is always a cover for abject terror, so that makes sense.

Sigh…all the comments on this thread are making me feel awfully apologetic about my gender. Sorry about my brethren, ladies.

By: The Progressively Pervy Dude? Why? « Manslations

The Progressively Pervy Dude? Why? « Manslations — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 11:26:08 +0000

[...] try to make you feel like you ARE a prude if you’re not into this. (He might even pull an Anger Smokescreen about it.) If that is his reaction to this conversation, you have my blessing to end this [...]

By: Pam

Pam — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 07:45:41 +0000

Yes! I’ve had this happen recently – I was dating a guy I worked with, and he seemed a bit too friendly with another girl we worked with, and I called him on it. He replied that he didn’t even know we were dating. And he was the one who had weeks earlier said that he was flattered that we were dating. Needless to say, I dropped him like a hot potato. We had a small argument online a few weeks ago, and he made all sorts of angry statements that just didn’t seem to match up with what he’d told me earlier. My new dating motto is: If they can’t be honest with me, then they can’t be with me.

By: JD

JD — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 23:35:44 +0000

I actually just experienced the ‘anger smokescreen’. I’ve been with the same man for four years. We only just recently broke up but we unfortunately still live together. Recently we had an argument because he was being a jerk, and somehow he turned the entire thing around saying that it was literally ALL in my head, and I had imagined that he had been completely rude to me. Now, being that we have recently broken up, I’m beginning the phase of recognizing flaws that I had been previously overlooking and I realized that this was a pattern within our entire relationship. The man had nearly made me believe I was half INSANE these last four years, with my “imagined” ideas about how he acted!!! Turns out he’s just a douchebag.

By: Jeff Mac

Jeff Mac — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 13:05:09 +0000

Tracey: I’m not sure what “toys out of the pram” means (I might need you to start a website called “Britslations”.) But if it means what I THINK it means (i.e. that he threw a tantrum on you) then yep, the Anger Smokescreen strikes again.

Oh wait. “Toys out of the pram” — as in, a baby throwing his toys? See, look at that. I’m not as dumb as I look!

Thanks for commenting!

By: Tracey

Tracey — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 11:34:13 +0000

Had a similar situation with an online dater – most are full of rubbish – wanted to let me know at the last minute if we were getting together but when I started the same treatment, we had toys out the pram. Left him and his pram pretty sharpish! Lol

By: Jeff Mac

Jeff Mac — Sat, 27 Oct 2007 18:03:51 +0000

Miffy: Apecrap. Oh, that made me laugh. We also would have accepted “apepoop..” Good for you for bailing.

Channa: Doesn’t sound like the anger smoke screen. Sounds more like he bailed on her when stuff got serious with YOU to me. I tend to think in this situation he didn’t tell you because it hadn’t been serious with, and why bring it up.

Sheila: Wow. That’s definitely a tough situation to be in. I’d say your best bet is to, with as cool a head as you can manage, talk about what you need to talk about. You can’t defeat the anger smokescreen with anger, but you can dissipate it with a refusal to get angry, and at least get to the truth. Good luck!

By: Sheila

Sheila — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 22:46:08 +0000

I didn’t realize who I was dating was pulling the ” tell you what they think you want to hear” crap until after I had married him. What a pain! He pulls the “anger smoke screen” crap too which just makes me mad (putting it mildly). I felt cheated. mistreated, and trapped. He’d show signs of being honest, and then do something incredibly stupid all over again. But marriage is for life — so I hope the pattern continues to be less and less. It doesn’t help that we settled for each other either — qutie the mess to try to improve if we put forth the effort (and faith) to improve it.