Comments on: Reader Request: He’s Being a Little Too…What’s the opposite of forward? http://manslations.com/2007/10/30/reader-request-hes-being-a-little-toowhats-the-opposite-of-forward/ Ask for Jeff Mac's advice on what men think -- about relationships, dating, sex, love, squirrels, whatever. Tue, 27 Jul 2010 15:10:54 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 By: sarabella http://manslations.com/2007/10/30/reader-request-hes-being-a-little-toowhats-the-opposite-of-forward/comment-page-1/#comment-5227 sarabella Fri, 03 Oct 2008 01:29:36 +0000 http://manslations.com/2007/10/30/reader-request-hes-being-a-little-toowhats-the-opposite-of-forward/#comment-5227 Ooh...Susan & Just a Reader, When was Oct2007? News is always news, right? Lick-squeeze, knock-kiss...can u2 hear me now, pumping iron! In emergency, should we bother checking whether *available or interested*? Thx, Sassy....hearts need happy Ends+ Whew, JM....needed This, Back in my Day! Ooh…Susan & Just a Reader,
When was Oct2007? News is always news, right?
Lick-squeeze, knock-kiss…can u2 hear me now, pumping iron! In emergency, should we bother checking whether *available or interested*?

Thx, Sassy….hearts need happy Ends+
Whew, JM….needed This, Back in my Day!

]]> By: Jeff Mac http://manslations.com/2007/10/30/reader-request-hes-being-a-little-toowhats-the-opposite-of-forward/comment-page-1/#comment-2990 Jeff Mac Fri, 02 Nov 2007 02:38:13 +0000 http://manslations.com/2007/10/30/reader-request-hes-being-a-little-toowhats-the-opposite-of-forward/#comment-2990 Sassy: Verrrry Eeeenterestink. Yeah, could be this guy has some trouble under the hood (or some other secret-ish type thing) and he doesn't want to let her know about it until he's ready. Sassy: Verrrry Eeeenterestink. Yeah, could be this guy has some trouble under the hood (or some other secret-ish type thing) and he doesn’t want to let her know about it until he’s ready.

]]> By: Sassy http://manslations.com/2007/10/30/reader-request-hes-being-a-little-toowhats-the-opposite-of-forward/comment-page-1/#comment-2989 Sassy Thu, 01 Nov 2007 15:34:54 +0000 http://manslations.com/2007/10/30/reader-request-hes-being-a-little-toowhats-the-opposite-of-forward/#comment-2989 This happened to a friend of mine just recently. He's sweet, kind, fun. She's adorable and has a lot to offer. To make a long story short, he has a medical condition that made getting physical awkward. He was making sure that they were "a couple" before he revealed his condition. To that end, he trusted her after a while, and she knew what a quality guy he is and the rest is history. This happened to a friend of mine just recently. He’s sweet, kind, fun. She’s adorable and has a lot to offer. To make a long story short, he has a medical condition that made getting physical awkward. He was making sure that they were “a couple” before he revealed his condition. To that end, he trusted her after a while, and she knew what a quality guy he is and the rest is history.

]]> By: Jeff Mac http://manslations.com/2007/10/30/reader-request-hes-being-a-little-toowhats-the-opposite-of-forward/comment-page-1/#comment-2988 Jeff Mac Wed, 31 Oct 2007 11:41:28 +0000 http://manslations.com/2007/10/30/reader-request-hes-being-a-little-toowhats-the-opposite-of-forward/#comment-2988 <strong>Loiralei</strong>: Kudos for bringing the price of oil into the relationship! <strong>Susan</strong>: That almost gave ME a heart attack. <strong>Adrienne</strong>: We wish we could read your minds, I swear. We just...you know...blow at it. <strong>Just a Reader</strong>: Nice work throwing him down! Yeah, that's a great one to have in your back pocket for the right situations. <strong>beta mom</strong>: I don't know if there are any women who give off a "come and get it sailor" vibe. (Though I've met some dudes who do.) <strong>Shelby</strong>: God, can you imagine a whole network of women, all having one completely platonic date every 4 weeks!? It's like the least racy LifeTime movie ever. Loiralei: Kudos for bringing the price of oil into the relationship!

Susan: That almost gave ME a heart attack.

Adrienne: We wish we could read your minds, I swear. We just…you know…blow at it.

Just a Reader: Nice work throwing him down! Yeah, that’s a great one to have in your back pocket for the right situations.

beta mom: I don’t know if there are any women who give off a “come and get it sailor” vibe. (Though I’ve met some dudes who do.)

Shelby: God, can you imagine a whole network of women, all having one completely platonic date every 4 weeks!? It’s like the least racy LifeTime movie ever.

]]> By: Shelby http://manslations.com/2007/10/30/reader-request-hes-being-a-little-toowhats-the-opposite-of-forward/comment-page-1/#comment-2987 Shelby Wed, 31 Oct 2007 05:00:46 +0000 http://manslations.com/2007/10/30/reader-request-hes-being-a-little-toowhats-the-opposite-of-forward/#comment-2987 It sounds as though this guy is taking things slowly (and politely) because he's playing the field. I say this because even though the both of you have trying work schedules, the time lapse between dates are just odd. How often do you call him? Does he call you? It sounds like he has other pots on the stove but doesn't want to possibly miss out on something with you. I'd be as upfront as possible. I'd ask if he has another relationship or playing the field and I'd ask now, as to not waste any time if he's in fact not as interested in you as you are in him. Granted, you don't jump into relationships quickly but this guy is moving like a SNAIL! It sounds as though this guy is taking things slowly (and politely) because he’s playing the field. I say this because even though the both of you have trying work schedules, the time lapse between dates are just odd. How often do you call him? Does he call you? It sounds like he has other pots on the stove but doesn’t want to possibly miss out on something with you. I’d be as upfront as possible. I’d ask if he has another relationship or playing the field and I’d ask now, as to not waste any time if he’s in fact not as interested in you as you are in him. Granted, you don’t jump into relationships quickly but this guy is moving like a SNAIL!

]]> By: beta mom http://manslations.com/2007/10/30/reader-request-hes-being-a-little-toowhats-the-opposite-of-forward/comment-page-1/#comment-2986 beta mom Tue, 30 Oct 2007 23:41:47 +0000 http://manslations.com/2007/10/30/reader-request-hes-being-a-little-toowhats-the-opposite-of-forward/#comment-2986 I'm wondering if anyone who uses the word "beverage" is not exactly throwing out the "come and get it sailor" vibe. I’m wondering if anyone who uses the word “beverage” is not exactly throwing out the “come and get it sailor” vibe.

]]> By: Just a Reader http://manslations.com/2007/10/30/reader-request-hes-being-a-little-toowhats-the-opposite-of-forward/comment-page-1/#comment-2985 Just a Reader Tue, 30 Oct 2007 22:36:39 +0000 http://manslations.com/2007/10/30/reader-request-hes-being-a-little-toowhats-the-opposite-of-forward/#comment-2985 Sounds an awful lot like the guy I'm (finally) dating now. He is just one of those very intelligent, very, very shy guys. Sounds weird, I know, but some guys are just... <i>that way.</i> After about a month of doing "stuff" together without him even trying to hold my hand (!) I finally got up the guts to knock him to the ground and kiss him. He warmed up right away after that. He simply doesn't rank high (read: at all) on extroversion and has tended to be fairly passive with respect to women. But we've had some great conversations recently about both of us moving out of our comfort zones. We're old too -- average age 50 -- but even old dogs can learn some new tricks. With the proper motivation. :) If Marianne digs him, at some point she may have to lay it out for him or cut him loose to prevent herself from going nuts trying to "read" him out. (I found out after the fact that my guy almost prides himself on being "unreadable". Not helpful!!) And if you're thinking of cutting him loose anyway, what can it hurt to try one direct move first? Sounds an awful lot like the guy I’m (finally) dating now. He is just one of those very intelligent, very, very shy guys. Sounds weird, I know, but some guys are just… that way.

After about a month of doing “stuff” together without him even trying to hold my hand (!) I finally got up the guts to knock him to the ground and kiss him. He warmed up right away after that.

He simply doesn’t rank high (read: at all) on extroversion and has tended to be fairly passive with respect to women. But we’ve had some great conversations recently about both of us moving out of our comfort zones. We’re old too — average age 50 — but even old dogs can learn some new tricks. With the proper motivation. :)

If Marianne digs him, at some point she may have to lay it out for him or cut him loose to prevent herself from going nuts trying to “read” him out. (I found out after the fact that my guy almost prides himself on being “unreadable”. Not helpful!!)

And if you’re thinking of cutting him loose anyway, what can it hurt to try one direct move first?

]]> By: Adrienne http://manslations.com/2007/10/30/reader-request-hes-being-a-little-toowhats-the-opposite-of-forward/comment-page-1/#comment-2984 Adrienne Tue, 30 Oct 2007 17:32:23 +0000 http://manslations.com/2007/10/30/reader-request-hes-being-a-little-toowhats-the-opposite-of-forward/#comment-2984 Word to you, Jeff. It's good to hear that men can't read our minds. I keep forgetting that... On the other hand, I was raised that men should always make the first move (I'm old). And it's turning out to work for me. The guy i'm with now just went for it, without seeming like a masher and (this is how it's good) without fearing REJECTION!! I don't recall dropping any major hints. I just remember laughing at his jokes and having a mutual at-ease kinda thing going. But I'm thinking maybe Marianne is sending off DO NOT ENTER vibes because, well, she's just not into this foreign dude (what IS with this "meeting" language? Wasn't it a "date" from the beginning? Are you guys bringing briefcases to the movies, or what?) It reminds of one rejection email I got from a guy: "it seems like we're just acting like friends..." Boo, I was sad. For like ten minutes. Then I realized I enjoyed his company enough, but not THAT way. And I just wanted him to go after me for the sake of going after me. It's hard to meet someone you could love. Having said that, it's Marianne's call. Me, I'm a needy sap who needs the guy to do the important initiating. Some women do okay shaking up the shy dudes and even proposing marriage (but see, you do that and you're the one making all the moves FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE...)... Word to you, Jeff. It’s good to hear that men can’t read our minds. I keep forgetting that…
On the other hand, I was raised that men should always make the first move (I’m old). And it’s turning out to work for me. The guy i’m with now just went for it, without seeming like a masher and (this is how it’s good) without fearing REJECTION!! I don’t recall dropping any major hints. I just remember laughing at his jokes and having a mutual at-ease kinda thing going.
But I’m thinking maybe Marianne is sending off DO NOT ENTER vibes because, well, she’s just not into this foreign dude (what IS with this “meeting” language? Wasn’t it a “date” from the beginning? Are you guys bringing briefcases to the movies, or what?)
It reminds of one rejection email I got from a guy: “it seems like we’re just acting like friends…” Boo, I was sad. For like ten minutes. Then I realized I enjoyed his company enough, but not THAT way. And I just wanted him to go after me for the sake of going after me. It’s hard to meet someone you could love.
Having said that, it’s Marianne’s call. Me, I’m a needy sap who needs the guy to do the important initiating. Some women do okay shaking up the shy dudes and even proposing marriage (but see, you do that and you’re the one making all the moves FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE…)…

]]> By: Susan http://manslations.com/2007/10/30/reader-request-hes-being-a-little-toowhats-the-opposite-of-forward/comment-page-1/#comment-2982 Susan Tue, 30 Oct 2007 16:37:39 +0000 http://manslations.com/2007/10/30/reader-request-hes-being-a-little-toowhats-the-opposite-of-forward/#comment-2982 I suppose licking his cheek and squeezing his butt during the hug might send him into a heart attack, eh? (Sorry, couldn't resist.) If he's this shy/old fashioned, think about whether this will all be worth this kind of work all the time, but if you truly do like him find a way to find out. Jeff suggests a very sweet way to ask for a kiss. (That's what we love about you, Jeff.) But if you really dig him, you might be so bold to say "would it be too forward for me to kiss you?" ...unless not asking for HIM to initiate the kiss is too forward?....I'm so confused. I suppose licking his cheek and squeezing his butt during the hug might send him into a heart attack, eh? (Sorry, couldn’t resist.)

If he’s this shy/old fashioned, think about whether this will all be worth this kind of work all the time, but if you truly do like him find a way to find out. Jeff suggests a very sweet way to ask for a kiss. (That’s what we love about you, Jeff.) But if you really dig him, you might be so bold to say “would it be too forward for me to kiss you?” …unless not asking for HIM to initiate the kiss is too forward?….I’m so confused.

]]> By: Loiralei http://manslations.com/2007/10/30/reader-request-hes-being-a-little-toowhats-the-opposite-of-forward/comment-page-1/#comment-2983 Loiralei Tue, 30 Oct 2007 15:33:17 +0000 http://manslations.com/2007/10/30/reader-request-hes-being-a-little-toowhats-the-opposite-of-forward/#comment-2983 Oh my god! That was so boring I could hardly get through it! Where is HONESTY anymore? Is no one upfront? (If its worth the gas money to drive all that way to meet him). Just ask the dude if he likes you? If he's interested?! If you don't want to do that just lean in when he hugs you or takes your hand and give him a sweet little kiss and hold the eye contact a bit mysteriosly and sexylike. On THAT many "meetings" you have the right to make the first move if you want it to move... Oh my god! That was so boring I could hardly get through it! Where is HONESTY anymore? Is no one upfront? (If its worth the gas money to drive all that way to meet him). Just ask the dude if he likes you? If he’s interested?! If you don’t want to do that just lean in when he hugs you or takes your hand and give him a sweet little kiss and hold the eye contact a bit mysteriosly and sexylike. On THAT many “meetings” you have the right to make the first move if you want it to move…

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