Comments on: Reader Request: Emily’s Crushing on the ‘tender… http://manslations.com/2007/11/01/reader-request-emilys-crushing-on-the-tender/ Advice for smart women who are tired of feeling so stupid about men. Mon, 23 Jan 2012 04:24:48 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Jeff Mac http://manslations.com/2007/11/01/reader-request-emilys-crushing-on-the-tender/comment-page-1/#comment-3012 Jeff Mac Mon, 05 Nov 2007 14:09:38 +0000 http://manslations.com/2007/11/01/reader-request-emilys-crushing-on-the-tender/#comment-3012 Sian: I agree with you about the bartender/politeness thing. Come ON! Half the bartenders I know are stealing from the bar AND sleeping with the clientele! And yes, I'm working my way into the great down under as best I can! Sian: I agree with you about the bartender/politeness thing. Come ON! Half the bartenders I know are stealing from the bar AND sleeping with the clientele!

And yes, I’m working my way into the great down under as best I can!

]]> By: Sian http://manslations.com/2007/11/01/reader-request-emilys-crushing-on-the-tender/comment-page-1/#comment-3010 Sian Fri, 02 Nov 2007 20:06:59 +0000 http://manslations.com/2007/11/01/reader-request-emilys-crushing-on-the-tender/#comment-3010 Postscript: seems you have quite a following from down under Jeff :) Postscript:

seems you have quite a following from down under Jeff :)

]]> By: Sian http://manslations.com/2007/11/01/reader-request-emilys-crushing-on-the-tender/comment-page-1/#comment-3011 Sian Fri, 02 Nov 2007 20:03:29 +0000 http://manslations.com/2007/11/01/reader-request-emilys-crushing-on-the-tender/#comment-3011 Emily, sounds like this guy certainly likes you, so my plan would be to get to know him better whether he still has the girlfriend or not. Afterall, a lot of relationships don't end up lasting anyway, so keep the door open,incase his doesn't. You need to be relating from equal powerbases though, and it seems its pretty unequal at the moment, as you are required to make all the contact manouevres as well as getting mixed messages from him with the 1/2 lip kiss. So here is what I would do...call in to the cafe again...make it a short visit...go when its busy, noisy & with a great atmoshere ..say you don't know when you will be next in due to the fact you live elsewhere now..say you don't want to lose touch..give him your card with all your contact details on it, phone, email etc Then ask for his..observe his responses to all of this.Then leave...don't linger. If he says he has a girlfiend..act non plussed and say you like him as a friend and would like to keep in touch on that basis... you could even throw in a 'cool, I am just starting to date someone too' Then 'disappear' for longer than normal..just sit with it a bit and you will get your answer. If he doesn't contact you either move on entirely and don't go back to the cafe, or if you like the cafe and want to go there again....act happy as if you had forgotten all about it, and preferably take the best looking guy you know and sit and smooch him passionately between orders! Moving right along to Thatlanagirl and her restaraint in not being able to accost the clientel !! I say rules are meant to be broken....slip your number to him on a napkin woman!!! and if you want to buld a lot of excitement don't give him your number just say ' meet me next thurs at this time at ..such and such cafe'.. then mile and walk away... you will have a fun week anticipating it... and so will he ! Emily, sounds like this guy certainly likes you, so my plan would be to get to know him better whether he still has the girlfriend or not. Afterall, a lot of relationships don’t end up lasting anyway, so keep the door open,incase his doesn’t.

You need to be relating from equal powerbases though, and it seems its pretty unequal at the moment, as you are required to make all the contact manouevres as well as getting mixed messages from him with the 1/2 lip kiss.

So here is what I would do…call in to the cafe again…make it a short visit…go when its busy, noisy & with a great atmoshere ..say you don’t know when you will be next in due to the fact you live elsewhere now..say you don’t want to lose touch..give him your card with all your contact details on it, phone, email etc
Then ask for his..observe his responses to all of this.Then leave…don’t linger.

If he says he has a girlfiend..act non plussed and say you like him as a friend and would like to keep in touch on that basis… you could even throw in a ‘cool, I am just starting to date someone too’

Then ‘disappear’ for longer than normal..just sit with it a bit and you will get your answer. If he doesn’t contact you either move on entirely and don’t go back to the cafe, or if you like the cafe and want to go there again….act happy as if you had forgotten all about it, and preferably take the best looking guy you know and sit and smooch him passionately between orders!

Moving right along to Thatlanagirl and her restaraint in not being able to accost the clientel !! I say rules are meant to be broken….slip your number to him on a napkin woman!!! and if you want to buld a lot of excitement don’t give him your number just say ‘ meet me next thurs at this time at ..such and such cafe’.. then mile and walk away… you will have a fun week anticipating it… and so will he !

]]> By: Jeff Mac http://manslations.com/2007/11/01/reader-request-emilys-crushing-on-the-tender/comment-page-1/#comment-3009 Jeff Mac Fri, 02 Nov 2007 02:41:14 +0000 http://manslations.com/2007/11/01/reader-request-emilys-crushing-on-the-tender/#comment-3009 thatlanagirl: For what it's worth, I completely agree with your agreement with me. And g'day from far, far away! thatlanagirl: For what it’s worth, I completely agree with your agreement with me. And g’day from far, far away!

]]> By: thatlanagirl http://manslations.com/2007/11/01/reader-request-emilys-crushing-on-the-tender/comment-page-1/#comment-3008 thatlanagirl Thu, 01 Nov 2007 23:46:28 +0000 http://manslations.com/2007/11/01/reader-request-emilys-crushing-on-the-tender/#comment-3008 I definitely agree with the fact that Emily must make the first move here. No waiting around at the bar for him to make a go of it. He is at work, and regardless of the fact that he is a bartender, it is actually inappropriate for him to ask out a customer. The number of times I have missed out on opportunities to date really nice, flirty people, simply because I have been at work and unable to accost the clientel myself, has been most annoying. I was constantly frustrated by the fact that the customer couldn't pick up on the vibe and make a move on me, cos as an employee of the company, I wasn't able to. Make the move, be blatant. It sounds as if all we really need to know here, is whether he still has his girlfriend. It sounds as if he doesn't, but you never know, and this appears to be the vital, missing piece of information. From where I sit (all the way over in the southern hemisphere no less), it's all systems go if he admits to being single again. Good luck Emily! Sounds very gushy and exciting! I definitely agree with the fact that Emily must make the first move here. No waiting around at the bar for him to make a go of it. He is at work, and regardless of the fact that he is a bartender, it is actually inappropriate for him to ask out a customer.
The number of times I have missed out on opportunities to date really nice, flirty people, simply because I have been at work and unable to accost the clientel myself, has been most annoying. I was constantly frustrated by the fact that the customer couldn’t pick up on the vibe and make a move on me, cos as an employee of the company, I wasn’t able to.
Make the move, be blatant. It sounds as if all we really need to know here, is whether he still has his girlfriend. It sounds as if he doesn’t, but you never know, and this appears to be the vital, missing piece of information.
From where I sit (all the way over in the southern hemisphere no less), it’s all systems go if he admits to being single again.
Good luck Emily! Sounds very gushy and exciting!

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