Comments on: Jeni Asks One of the Most Terrifying Questions a Man Will Ever Hear

By: mmagnolia

mmagnolia — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 02:00:20 +0000

Dears “h” and “a”,
…Merci! Needed some chuckles, albeit belated.
…Hdear! What’s with the “weeks before” finding “another female sex partner”???

!What planet inhabited? Last case scenario–it’s OKcapitalism–get Thee to a brothel. Otherwise, point of Ms.AnneZ re-”testosterone deficiency” is ON POINT!

And…don’t die wondering!

By: hunter

hunter — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 04:16:46 +0000

to annez

…you end your speech with, “what is wrong with all that?”…….besides going through withdrawal symptoms,……we have to go out and find another female sex partner…It maybe weeks before we find one…..but, I agee with you,… no one has ever died of no sex!…..

By: AnneZ

AnneZ — Sun, 10 Feb 2008 17:19:06 +0000

You gotta be kidding me. From what you say here, and possibly an unfortunate juxtaposition of which other posts I just read, men spend 90% of their lives terrified. All that terror must be so exhausting. I’m shocked you ever have any energy left for the all important sex. Hey, here’s a thought: if you relax a lilttle on the non-stop terror thing, you can have more sex what with all the extra energy and stuff…and ALL THE FEMALE AVAILABILITY FROM NOT HAVING RUN A THOUSAND MILES AWAY FROM HER.

The “right” answer he is so desperately afraid of missing is right at his own fingertips. It’s called the “truth.” See, from what you’ve described, his definition of the “right” answer is “the answer that will prevent her from leaving me or making any change in the status quo or like, saying more words, which always takes away from the sex time and ends in more terror for me and I’m already at 90% terror and cannot take on one more percent and still get my lungs to function which interferes with getting to work and my Xbox might get repossessed.”

What’s so hard about the gentleman saying to himself–the female is also a human being and has needs and goals. If I give her truth, she can pursue her needs and goals. This is a thing that makes a real man out of me, instead of a squirrelly weasel of a rat with a testosterone deficiency not unlike satin cheeked 4 year olds, yanno, the kind who haven’t hit puberty or even heard of it.

Maybe the answer to her is “I like you and enjoy our sex life and I hope I can continue to enjoy your company” To which she will say: “Do you see us moving in together/marrying/meeting mom?” To which he can say “Hell yeah!” or “Various details expressing uncertainty and hope” or “Probably not. Did you want that? I’m sorry.”

Oh look! The earth is still spinning on its axis. Trees still convert carbon dioxide into something you can breathe. Yes, you, a male person—Breathe! Proceed to work, save Xbox.

The worst case scenario is she appreciates you for manning up and you both move on. End result for you: a girl not only does not hate you, she thinks of you as a real man. Courteous and honest and all those boy scouty things. You feel like a man. You feel like Spencer Tracy would pat you on the shoulder and smile and introduce you to his daughter ‘cuz you’ve got all that integrity and stuff.

What the hell would be so wrong with all that?

Boys. Sheesh.

By: Jeff Mac

Jeff Mac — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 12:52:06 +0000

hunter: Oh, I could not agree more. I often think that men are only allowed to date women because even when we tell them exactly what they’re like, they STILL don’t believe us!

By: hunter

hunter — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 02:01:15 +0000

…..most guys, we don’t realize, that we are limited by logic………..we are blind to the fact that,,,,, we can mostly,,,,,, tell the truth,,,,,,, and women will still go out with us….

By: Jeff Mac

Jeff Mac — Tue, 27 Nov 2007 12:35:07 +0000

hunter: I think you’re exactly right. I think that’s what the REAL truth is underneath all the dodging. It’s, “Hey, I like dating you, but I’m not thinking marriage.”

By: hunter

hunter — Tue, 27 Nov 2007 00:30:30 +0000

……some men are afraid of losing her, if, they say, “I will go with you, but, I won’t marry.”

By: Jeff Mac

Jeff Mac — Fri, 16 Nov 2007 12:35:52 +0000

Ronnie: Excellent point, Ronnie — men often speak with their ACTIONS and not their words, so yep, that would count as an action. Bailing.

And yes, men are pretty sissified when it comes to asking the hard questions. (And we’re sorry about it, I promise.)

By: Ronnie

Ronnie — Thu, 15 Nov 2007 18:12:30 +0000

Just gotta chime in here. If you ask a direct question, and the guy runs, that IS his answer. No answer IS an answer. If the question opens a discussion of future potential and feelings – that’s a more an answer too.

Sometimes these questions are needed to get clear whether men like them or not. I call this “Asking the Hard Questions,” and Jeff is so right – being specific is a good thing. But, just like Jeff also said – you better only ask if you really want to know the answer – because either way, you will get an answer of some kind.

When a woman asks a “Hard Question,” she is seeking to deepen the relationship. Once in a while a man will take this step himself, but with all the people I’ve worked with, that’s a pretty rare thing. Shelby was one of the lucky ones. More often, women have to initiate this step.

Ronnie Ann Ryan -The Dating Coach

By: Jeff Mac

Jeff Mac — Thu, 15 Nov 2007 12:26:11 +0000

Shelby: Good point — in the best situations, you’ll know exactly where each other is at. Or “are at.” Or…in the right situation, you’ll know where you both are. At. Hm. I’ll get back to you when I know where I am. At.

Side note: I’m so glad your guy barfed his love upon you!