Comments on: He Doesn’t Wanna, you know, DO it: A Reader Request

By: hunter

hunter — Tue, 11 Dec 2007 02:43:09 +0000

to lan,

I can relate to the blog, at one time, I had no idea where to start. Coming from a violent house hold, there, was no time to ask questions about intimacy….life was about avoiding situations….fast forward to adult life, even if I asked,,,,,, few people,,,, if any….., would, say what we needed to hear…so, I would say, find yourself another friend, ,,,,
.

By: hunter

hunter — Mon, 10 Dec 2007 06:34:40 +0000

to loiralei,

I have been with women that seem to lose their hearing when in bed, because, they, will not follow my instructions…..and they wonder why I don’t call them on the telephone often……

By: Jeff Mac

Jeff Mac — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 12:53:03 +0000

Just Me Again: Yeah, I’d have to agree that “full disclosure” is one of those things that the really screwy folk have a tough time with. And from my experience with such folk, that only gets worse over time.

By: Just Me Again

Just Me Again — Tue, 27 Nov 2007 21:54:40 +0000

My sister’s ex had issues that sound similar. Eventually it became obvious that he couldn’t make “the switch” and he retreated all of the way into porn-land. It also became clear that there were some… mental health issues plus some long-ago icky sexual issues frim his childhood.

I don’t think the poor guy stood a chance at approximating normal for long. My sis finally had to leave which broke her heart ’cause she loved the guy but he was one messed up fella.

IMHO, the damaged ones usually don’t believe in “full-disclosure”.

By: Jeff Mac

Jeff Mac — Mon, 26 Nov 2007 01:01:46 +0000

bjg: Well, when you say it like THAT it sounds so unappealing…

LA Lady: Interchangeable, no. But non-intimidating for an insecure dude? Absolutely.

Catherine and Elizabeth: Yeah, that’s a pretty long time. Could be that there’s nothing she can do…

Loiralei: Yeah, some guys are definitely not good “learners.” That would mean they’d have to admit that they had something to learn. Luckily, I’m dopey enough that I have no trouble admitting that!

By: Loiralei

Loiralei — Fri, 23 Nov 2007 17:41:51 +0000

Believe me! Not every one who takes their pants off wins! Some guys couldn’t find their way to a woman’s delorous if you gave them a road map or stamped the instructions “you are here” on it! I know some men don’t like to ask for directions – but if you’re that lost! My friend recently said she told her husband, “For God’s sake you don’t know what you’re doing down there and you never listen so just forget it!” She now has an extensive vibrater collection. And now I know why my uncle used to complain that my aunt used to read a magazine and eat an apple during sex with him. You’d think if they watch porno they would LEARN something, some of it is pretty instructive these days. I’m not saying ALL men are like this but more than half definately are.

By: Elizabeth

Elizabeth — Fri, 23 Nov 2007 09:51:26 +0000

It doesn’t seem like your bf is open to any discussion on the matter, and therefor unlikely to change. The real question is, in my opinion, if you can be happy in such a relationship. 3 years is a long time and he failed to ‘prove’ himself.

By: Catherine

Catherine — Thu, 22 Nov 2007 13:07:41 +0000

3 years together is way too long! She has had the time to teach him the things that she needs. Sex should be somewhat intuitive with another person. Some people are compatible on all the other levels except sex… and some are only compatible sexually. She is not a sex therapist. Staying with the dude will not help him change. Go find another partner.

By: LA Lady

LA Lady — Thu, 22 Nov 2007 01:41:22 +0000

I think Jeff’s advice is right on the mark here. If I were Ian, I would give Jeff’s advice a go, but don’t wait 3 more years to see if this problem is resolved.

BJG also has a point, porn has a way separating some men from reality and once gone, it is almost impossible for them to find their way back to the “real world”.

Jeff, do guys really think that porn is interchangeable with a real woman? Are women really that much effort? Aren’t there added benefits to “real time” loving with a partner rather than self pleasure?

By: bjg

bjg — Wed, 21 Nov 2007 18:33:15 +0000

A non-aggressive porn -loving guy? Yeah, give up, move on… just run! – it’s not worth the aggravation. If he likes porn more than a real woman, he is a mega-loser!