manslations

Hello, dear manslatees. For those of you who are new, Friday is normally the day on which I, Jeff Mac, manslate the news. Well, due to my crazy schedule (I am writing a BOOK, you know, ahem) and the fact that the requests are coming in like crazy, the News Roundup will be going on hiatus for a bit. Instead I’ll just be doing reader requests for the forseeable future.

(MANSLATOR’S NOTE: Deepest apologies to that one person out there who will miss the news:

Thank you, madam. I appreciate the support.)

PROFESSIONAL CONTACT INFO PAGE

Also, you might notice that I have put up a “Professional Contact Info” page. See it up there? Me too! (Ok, maybe not a huge coincidence there.) Since the book sold, I’ve been getting some professional interest (regarding the rights to Manslations, etc.) These poor bastards are having to, like, send me messages through the “Need a Manslation” page. Which…it’s just not a dignified way to do business. (Unless they’ve also got relationship problems in which case, you know, two birds with one stone I suppose.) So, if you are such a professional, that’s where you can now find ways to get in touch with people who can tell you where I’d like you to put the canvas bags of money with dollar signs painted on the outsides.

(MANSLATOR’S NOTE: I like to feel like I’m an olde tyme bankrobber and so I have it put into all contracts that I must be paid in those canvas bags. So far, nobody’s agreed to my terms. Neither the big money NOR the bags. But you gotta have dreams, people.)

Anyway, lest you weep with despair at the loss of the News Roundup, today’s reader request comes from someone named Elle. She writes (and this is an actual complete submission):

Hi Jeff

I’ve got some issues regarding my relationship…

Dear Elle,

That’s it, huh? Well, I think that your main issue is what they call “lack of communication”. You need to open up, Elle.

Sincerely,

Jeff Mac

(MANSLATOR’S NOTE: Elle, if your message got cut off and you actually wanted to send MORE than that, I’d go ahead and resubmit and I’ll be happy to answer whatever questions you have. I tried to email you, but it bounced back.)

Have a great weekend everybody! I’ll be back with more reader requests next week. And if YOU have a question for me, Jeff Mac (you didn’t forget who I was, did you? I know that I certainly didn’t. At least…I think I didn’t…) why not go ahead and ask it? Why not, I say?