Comments on: He Doesn’t Bring You Flowers…Any…MOOOOORE

By: Jeff Mac

Jeff Mac — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 12:27:55 +0000

Elis: I think your guy is having trouble understanding how different your brains are regarding this sort of thing. He’s thinking, “Well, we’re both able to see the same flowers, if I can just explain it to her, she’ll understand, and she won’t want that.”

You’re only going to get your flowers if you can get him to understand that, “Look, I know these things don’t mean anything to YOU, I get that. But they mean something to ME, and it would feel really good to me if you’d think to do that for me once in a while.”

Thanks for stopping by!

By: Ella Jelcic

Ella Jelcic — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 21:48:15 +0000

Whow it sounds like my relationship. I’m with this guy and he never brings me flowers even when he’s invited for dinner at my house. After dating him for 9 months, I have on several occassions mentioned it to him and he has yet to come over with fresh flowers. He says the same thing that it’s a waste but that’s not how I look at it. As far as I’m concerned it’s not and they make me very happy. Plus why woudn’t he want to give me something that makes me happy since I do so many nice things for him. I don’t understand. Perhaps I’m just to good.

It was good reading this plus his name is Jeff.

Thanks
Elis

By: Jeff Mac

Jeff Mac — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 19:32:19 +0000

Terry: Well, disposing of the dead bodies of flowers, then!

Amber: I agree, it should feel pretty equal. But I’ve also been in situations where it’s all about keeping score. That’s no good either, you know? There’s definitely a balance in there somewhere, though.

By: Amber

Amber — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 17:27:55 +0000

I’m with Terry on this one. You shouldn’t be jumping through hoops for the guy. He’ll just take you for granted and you’ll resent that.

Shouldn’t there at least be an equal balance in the things you do for each other, when it comes to date-planning, cooking, spending time together, etc.?

By: Terry

Terry — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 17:15:46 +0000

No, Jeff, you were talking about flowers!

By: Jeff Mac

Jeff Mac — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 12:41:56 +0000

Susan: Hey, when you win — doesn’t matter what category — you friggin’ TAKE it, right?

By: Susan

Susan — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 00:38:38 +0000

I’m like the dating/relationship version of What Not to Wear.
That’s nice… sort of.

By: Jeff Mac

Jeff Mac — Tue, 11 Dec 2007 21:45:45 +0000

Susan: Hey, just remember — what NOT to do is pretty much the second best thing to do!

JJenny: I’m glad the conversation’s started at least. Don’t give up on the flowers, though. I’m a recovering not-flower-giver myself. (Then again, my recovery DID involve my girlfriend having a bit of a “how come you never buy me flowers” meltdown. So…while I could never “advise” such a tactic…um…it works.)

Sassy: Fair questions. If the BIG stuff is there, chill on the little stuff.

Terry: When I read what you said last, I could not for the LIFE of me remember what I had written about dying and cleaning up. I was thinking, “Did I write something about disposing of a body??”

By: Terry

Terry — Tue, 11 Dec 2007 17:04:55 +0000

Why are you making all the date plans? Why are you doing all the cooking? Sounds like a lot of work to me.

Jumping through hoops doesn’t result in appreciation. It results in unappreciation.

Why don’t you give this guy a chance to miss you a little bit? Go out with your friends. Make new friends. Don’t assume you’re going out with him unless he makes an effort to set something up.

As far as gifts are concerned, I might be in the minority about this, but they don’t mean all that much. I’d rather have a guy who cooks, makes dates, and shows enthusiasm about the relationship.

I can buy my own flowers.

(And, Jeff, I agree with you 100% about the dying and the cleaning up!)

By: Sassy

Sassy — Tue, 11 Dec 2007 16:53:56 +0000

JJenny, I also would see if he has the “real” goods. Does he fill you up emotionally? Make you feel secure? Have your back when things get tough? If he has these things, I would count your blessings.