Do Men Get Heartbroken?
This one took me by surprise. I mean, look, I am well aware that we men are a little confusing. But I had no idea THIS was even a question. A reader named Connie wants to know if men ever get heartbroken, cuz she’s never seen it happen. Well, I’m here to tell you that she might not be seeing what she thinks she’s seeing.
Connie writes:
Do men ever get a real “broken heart” like women do at the end of a relationship? I mean do they ever really feel a sense of loss or really miss or grieve the other person? And if they do what does it feel like, how long does it last and how does it manifest itself? I ask this because I’ve never seen men suffer like women do, they just go out and get laid or drunk or both and seem not to care about losing that person. This happens even if THEY were the ones that said they were in love and wanted to marry that person. Also, do they feel a sense of loss for the woman if they cheated on her which actually caused the relationship to end? Particularily if they continue to still say they love them, continue to call them every couple mths, but don’t seem to want more. Why do they do this? What are they feeling? Why do they bother?
Dear Connie,
Excellent questions, and I’ll take them one by one:
DO MEN EVER GET A REAL “BROKEN HEART”
Oh yes. Absolutely, without pausing for thought. Every guy I know has been completely devastated at LEAST one time, if not many. Missing the person, grieving, etc? Yes, yes, yes.
WHAT DOES IT FEEL LIKE?
Probably exactly how you might expect. I (or guys I’ve known) have felt:
- Crushed
- Embarrassed
- Weak
- Like I can’t get out of bed
- Like I’m going to go nuts
- Like I’ll die alone by choking on a TV dinner of salisbury steak (which, hey, there are worse ways to go. I mean…I guess it depends on which dessert came with it.)
You know — depressed, miserable, car-battery-hooked-up-to-the-genitals-in-a-Turkish-prison sort of feelings.
(MANSLATOR’S NOTE: I have never been to a Turkish prison. But I know I wouldn’t do well in a prison of any sort. Well, except those ones where they send people like Martha Stewart. A minimum security prison for rich women? There, I’d probably do fine. You know, if I made some powerful friends early.)
HOW LONG DOES IT LAST?
36 days. No, not really. I have no idea.
I’ve wondered about this one myself, given my specific situation. I started my current relationship only 2 months after my last one ended. An 8 and a half YEAR relationship. Now, was I “over” the last one? Well, I mean, I certainly didn’t want to go back to it. But at the same time, I was still emotionally very, very shaky. I was smack in the middle fo the part where you’re not supposed to be “ready.” But lucky for me, stuff doesn’t happen when you’re supposed to be ready. It just happens.
Honestly, I’ve seen (and BEEN) the guy who hangs onto the idea for WAY too long. I’ve seen guys get over it pretty quickly. It’s just like women in that it’s different for everybody. Even broken-hearted robots are programmed to vary the duration. It’s the natural way.
HOW DOES IT MANIFEST?
Ok, here’s where we get into stuff that might NOT be just the way that women handle it. You mention guys going out, getting laid, getting drunk and not seeming to miss the woman. Well, those are two very different things. Getting drunk/laid and missing her aren’t necessarily related in any way.
So, if you see a guy who was just dumped and he’s out messing around with another woman, that doesn’t mean ANYTHING about his feelings for his ex. Getting drunk and laid are not necessarily emblems of being in perfect emotional health, you know. It could be he’s just trying to keep busy. Could be he’s trying to put on a brave face. Could be that he’s trying to talk himself into being ok with the whole thing. Or it could just be that he’s totally heartbroken and looking for something (i.e. someONE) to do. Not someone to DATE.
What you will NOT necessarily see (in public anyway) is a man dwelling on it. Not for too long, anyway. And not with his “boys.” We don’t talk about that stuff with each other. Some women interpret this as not being in touch with our feelings. Not so. When you’re totally devastated, your guy friends know about it, and they do you the courtesy of not bugging you about it. Your best guy friends know that you don’t want to be poked and prodded about it. You just want them around.
The bottom line is that, for whatever reason, vulnerability is not considered an incredibly acceptable thing for a man to display. But that does NOT mean it’s not happening.
DO MEN FEEL A SENSE OF LOSS IF THEY’RE THE ONE WHO SCREWED IT UP?
Ah. Now, we seem to be getting more into your specific situation, yes? Some do, some don’t. The guy who cheats, but keeps calling, telling you he loves you, etc. I’ve written about this type of resurfacing guy before. This guy likes attention. Specifically, he likes to know that women are thinking about him. So he keeps on calling every once in a while to keep the hope alive that you’re still pining away for him.
Why does he bother? What is he feeling? He’s lonely. For you? Possibly, but not necessarily. Usually it’s that he’s not sure whether or not he exists if someone doesn’t like him. So he keeps checking in, just to make sure he’s still here. It’s sad, but it’s not your problem, you know?
Think about it like this. If you ignore what he says and just look at what he DOES, what do you get? A guy who doesn’t want to be around you, but who contacts you every couple of months. He’s a hanger-on-er. And if it’s not already obvious, I’d stop taking those calls. They’re no good for anybody.
Good luck, Connie! And thanks for such a great question. And now that I’ve written about it, I can see where you might think guys don’t get heartbroken. We’re not so likely to show the world how devastated we are (if we can at all help it. Which…we can’t always do.)
Ladies? Ever seen a man with a broken heart? How did he MAN-ifest it? Oh ho ho! Did you see what I did there?
Posted: December 19th, 2007 under Reader Requests.
Comments
Comment from Loiralei
Time December 19, 2007 at 2:08 pm
I hate hanger-on-ers too. It feels like they are using you to mentally masturbate and satisfy their narcissistic egos through you on the phone. They don’t want you or a relationship with you! Yuck is right – get it off me! Go away now! I don’t believe men get broken hearts at all in the same way women do. If you can even CALL it a broken heart for them! Because it seems they ALL get involved within a few months with another woman or screw with one or several. You KNOW their penis’s aren’t broke! Maybe they might think of that woman they left behind but not too much! Woman are much more sensitive and hurt much more and longer! I’ve seen some actually mourn for years! Except for a few choice (rare) males who are actually sensitive too and can’t bounce right in between another woman’s legs. No matter what men say about being “heartbroke too” they can’t be TOO much if they can talk another woman into their bed right away soon and do the same to her as they did to the one they claimed they loved so and are missing! Bull! I say…
Comment from Shelby
Time December 19, 2007 at 3:15 pm
I think men have the POTENTIAL to be broken hearted; that is, if they’re with a certain woman. I’ve seen my current boyfriend break down and actually cry one time. He also once said, “I’ve never had a problem if a woman broke up with me or I with them because I felt like there was always another, better option out there. But I don’t think there’s another you.” And he shows this in his actions, too. I think it’s all in finding the RIGHT person. The wrong person will make you feel icky. You’ll feel wonderful in every aspect when you’re with the right one.
Comment from Beta Mom
Time December 19, 2007 at 4:29 pm
But if the cherries from the cherry pie and the frozen peas got into the gravy of the salisbury steak dinner you choked on? Well that would just be a disgusting and senseless death.
I’m sorry – what was the question?
Comment from hunter
Time December 20, 2007 at 12:54 am
…I have called male friends on the telephone, only to have them answer and say, they can barely talk now, because they just broke up with their girlfriend. It is not like she was their at the moment, it just that, they are hurting, and can’t verbalize their thoughts…….
Comment from Jeff Mac
Time December 20, 2007 at 7:23 am
Shelby: Yes, there certainly are lots of these hangers on. Ugh.
Loiralei: I think the point is that, for many men, sex and hurt aren’t related in the same way as they seem to be for many women. So if a man “bounces right in between another woman’s legs” that says nothing either way about him being over the last girl. It also says nothing about how much (or little) he likes this other woman. Men just don’t connect sex with emotion in the same way that women do. We have both, we just don’t connect them in the same way.
Beta Mom: Who cares about the question, I want that TV dinner.
hunter: Absolutely. We don’t necessarily want to talk about it when we’re crushed.
Comment from Theatregal
Time December 21, 2007 at 9:41 pm
Hunter: So, you’re saying men get crushed? WEll, I have a 21 year old and a 24 year old. They’re away at college. I have an almost 21 year old and a 23 year old renting their rooms, going to college. It wasn’t until I went through my kid’s and several of their friend’s break ups, that I found out men actually DO have feelings. It took my 21 year old almost 3 years to get over his first love. He’d go off away from the dorm to call me, crying. He didn’t want his dorm friends to see him. We spent hours. I raised my boys to love women and it seems every kid I know in that age group do too. I know a lot. Most of my little neck of the woods had their kids with me. Even after they graduated, when my kids were home….everyone was here….even though they SAID I was the scariest Mom. But they are still here.
Having said that, at least in the 20-28 age group, even though they feel as if their hearts have been ripped out of their chests, they still do what they call “Hooking up” at parties. My boy said it was kinda like a band aid on heart surgery or a leg amputation. The way the boys explain it to me is that separating love and sex is easier for guys, than it is for girls. Some girls. My kid is now in love again and in Michigan for Xmas with her family. Then they’re off to NYC to visit my Uncles and drop her off at her college in Long Island. She’s from where he lives now. They met at work. Were friends for a while. Last summer after her first year away,they got together. He told that he was a guy he loved really being in love and having a relationship. It was my fault. But he knew he was happier than his “Hook up” friends. We’ll see how this long distance relationship goes. Now that my son loves someone, he told me he doesn’t have any interest in banging another girl. Most of these boys who hang out here are like him. I think it’s generational. My ex can never stay single for more than 3 months. He’ll take anyone. Sorry for the long message. Sex and love aren’t as connected for men as it is with most women. It’s only because of all of my boys that I do know the hurt, they cry ( hiding) and Oh Boy, they suffer. We just don’ytsee it most of the time.
Comment from hunter
Time December 22, 2007 at 10:18 am
to theatregal,
…some of us we, medicate our wounds, with other relationships,…..and I hear there is nothing wrong with that. The sooner you meet someone knew, the sooner, the hurt is taken away…..a man can be hurting and still have sex. I have been told, women are different, different,,,, mostly,,,,,,, they don’t need brains,,,,, their body does the work for them,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, they operate off their feelings,,,,, so,,,,,,,, mostly, if they don’t “feel good,” they can’t get close…….
Comment from Loiralei
Time December 22, 2007 at 12:12 pm
Hunter, women do use BOTH sides of their brain all the time. Mingled with feelings and intuition. Sometimes though, I think we cross circuit and it can become overwhelming + confused = emotional. When that happens especially a mans logic becomes very instructive and useful to a woman. And That’s when (other than the attraction/act of sex itself) the sexes compliment and truly need each other.
Comment from Loiralei
Time December 22, 2007 at 12:29 pm
AND! It works both ways of course, women can help men feel comfortable safe sharing THEIR own feeling, emotional, loving, soft side at times. Anyone that has ever raised a man from infancy to adulthood knows a bit about their life trials and (some) at least of the way their brain thinks (different than a woman) and very complimentary to a woman at times – but in a lot of ways – the same. I once read (although I don’t know if it was a true quote) but someone once asked Warren Beatty, a casanova big-time who bedded more women in Hollywood (and out in his hey day) someone asked him what was the one thing he learned most from having sex and or loving all these women. He answered: “That men and women are really the same”. I always thought that was an interesting answer. Warren, is it true? I challenge you to tell me…!
Comment from hunter
Time December 22, 2007 at 1:38 pm
to loiralei,
I know, but, Warren Beatty?…hhmmhh, that is not a fair analogy/comparison. Mostly, women are attracted to well-known, wealthy, oh,,,,, I shouldn’t say,,,, that,,,,, lets say, “successful” men.(the same with men, I would like to date successful women)
And true, he has been in many relationships, and he may have been to the school of hard knocks….I don’t really know…there is nothing better than a response,, from a schooled/certified head shrink, to get us going……..
Comment from hunter
Time December 22, 2007 at 1:47 pm
to shelby/loiralei
hanger-oners? How funny, I am guilty of doing that, I wasn’t aware, until you said it.
I do remember asking a woman out for approximately 10 years…..
You two must be very pretty women…..hhhmmhhh
Comment from Theatregal
Time December 23, 2007 at 8:18 am
Hunter,
I wouldn’t call casual sex to medicate the wound a relationship. Most of the men I know tell me it’s usually only a temporary fix. As far as most women go…it may feel good in the moment, but usually worse after…..pretty much because they use their brains and don’t just think with what some men refer to as their little head.
Comment from hunter
Time December 23, 2007 at 11:48 am
to theatregal,
hhmmmh, “only a temporary fix,” is that what men tell you?….huh!……Maybe,….but….we have been known to “temporary fix things,” for years….especially if he is good looking,,,,, he gets sex offers constantly or,,,,,,,,,,, if he is well versed on how a woman operates, he will find sex….
Comment from Loiralei
Time December 23, 2007 at 11:51 am
“School certified headstrinks” are usually nuts themselves and its the very reason they go into the profession in the first place to heal themselves. They rarely if ever do, plus they usually mess everyone else up because they are nuts. I speak from vast personal certifiable experience on this one. And hunter, yes we are very beautiful – you betcha!
Comment from Theatregal
Time December 24, 2007 at 3:27 am
Hunter,
You sound so much like my ex boyfriend it’s ooogie. ( not my ex husband,) The ex boyfriend pretty much can have any one he wants, anytime he wants and he’s in his 50s.. We grew up together and he always said it was a case of the “Little head” taking over the “Big head”. As one ages , it catches up with you and , you eventually find the pool smaller and smaller and then you’re alone……completely. Except if you’re willing to take whatever shows up.
Comment from Theatregal
Time December 24, 2007 at 3:33 am
Plus, the comment before the last one was mostly about calling friends with benefits or casual sex to self medicate a “relationship”. If it’s rushing into the next “relationship” like the ex husband, I’m not sure that’s any better, Being with anybody just to be with a body, seems extremely sad to me.
Comment from hunter
Time December 28, 2007 at 7:06 pm
to loiralei,
I am sorry you have not heard what you want to hear from a counselor/shrink/whatever……keep looking, it took me years, to find some answers….
Comment from hunter
Time December 28, 2007 at 7:19 pm
to theatregal,
I didn’t mean to sound like your ex…and you are right, “medicating with a warm body,” is not proper.
Your ex can be with anyone he wants? hhmmmmh,…..some guys can be that way, and some do end up single in their old age…….have you talked to the elderly? The ones that are not senile, continue living, off all those memories….
Comment from hunter
Time December 28, 2007 at 7:24 pm
…lovely, beautiful women attract all sorts of people……you may just have to continue asking questions, and studying human behaviour…
Comment from Theatregal
Time December 31, 2007 at 9:54 am
Hunter,
The ex boyfriend still has a full stable, but they all believe they’re the one and only. Once they wake up, they’re gone. It’s going to get more difficult to keep that stable full as he gets older. Living on memories can get awfully lonely and depressing. The ex husband just hooks up with whatever is available since we split 7 years go. They’re usualy pretty skanky. Our sons told him , they hoped he was getting tested for STDs on a regular basis. Sad, I think. He’s always saying he doesn’t understand why I’m still single. Maybe because I don’t hook up with the first guy that happens along?
Happy NewYear Eveyone!
Comment from Case in Point
Time January 9, 2008 at 12:34 pm
I can’t believe there are women who don’t think it’s possible. My girlfriend of 2 years left me a week ago on New Year’s. I couldn’t breathe. I thought I would have to be hospitalized. I literally cried for hours without stopping. It took me 4 days to eat again. I still wake up with a pounding heart and an unbearable desire to see, hear, feel, smell, and taste her, even though I know she wasn’t right for me.
If you see a guy getting drunk or laid right after a break-up that he didn’t initiate, he’s not over it. He’s looking for a way to stop feeling miserable. He’s trying to cope. He hates himself, and thinks that another pretty girl will give him some self-esteem back, or that alcohol will let him forget.
Comment from Jeff Mac
Time January 10, 2008 at 9:35 am
CiP: Oh man, have I been exactly there. I am so sorry that you got stomped on. But at least it wasn’t during the most stressful, depressing time of the year, though. Oh wait…
And yes, I absolutely agree with what you’re saying. Just because a guy’s behavior doesn’t look like what you think “loss” looks like, that doesn’t mean it’s not happening. It just looks different.
Thanks for writing such a clear (and unfortunately fresh) example. As you of course know, it’s gonna suck for a while. But hang in until it gets better.
Comment from Case in Point
Time January 10, 2008 at 11:31 am
Thanks, Jeff.
The hardest part is the hit to your self-esteem. To be kicked out of someone’s life and bed, your best friend’s for that matter, is hard not to take personally. It makes you feel worthless, unattractive, and unappealing. I mean, there were times when I should have ended it, but I didn’t give up on her. I trusted her.
So to all the girls out there who think men don’t get heartbroken: when we’re in love, when we trust a woman with our hearts and love them unconditionally, and then they abandon us…we do suffer. Not just from withdrawal, but also from internalizing the rejection. We idealize our former partner and degrade ourselves, even if the fault wasn’t ours.
Comment from hunter
Time January 12, 2008 at 1:40 pm
…..the first 3 days after a break up are the toughest,….you made it through……
Pingback from When He Dumps You, But Keeps Talking Crap Behind Your Back « Manslations
Time February 4, 2008 at 6:36 am
[...] know it’s surprising to some women, but men get broken hearted too, you know. And some of them, when they get dumped, maybe behave like children. You now officially [...]
Comment from MR. Right
Time July 7, 2008 at 1:09 am
I’ve gotten my heart broke before and showed it. Most men get their heart broke but will not show it in front of their mate. They usually want to be alone to because they are too embarrassed to do it in front of anyone, especially their friends and their mate. I wasn’t. I was on a 6 month deployment (military) when I came home and found my girl in the bed with her ex-boyfriend. She left him in the house and ran after me. That hurt big time but what hurt more is the fact that I was faithful and she was my first love. The first woman I ever made love to. I was 18 at the time I broke my virginity and I have to admit that I still LOVE her. She always send these messages through my sister trying to get me to meet her face to face because she said she need closure but I refuse. I know I am a forgiving person and when it comes to her I get weak. I was too deep in LOVE and jumped in the relationship with my heart wide open. We were dating for 4 years and I tried numerous times to get her to marry me but she kept telling me no. Last I heard is that the guy who she was cheating with cheated on her again. That was about 2 years ago. I still have trouble trusting women because I know I am a sensitive man and I don’t want to get myself into anything I can’t get myself out of. I can proudly say that I am 25 and still only been with one woman in my life. Every time a woman try to get close to me I make up some excuse or lie to leave because I am so afraid of being broken hearted again.
Comment from Jeff Mac
Time July 7, 2008 at 10:45 am
MR Right: Heh — she says that SHE needs closure? Wow. She’s got some balls on her, that one.
And by the way, I had my heart broken for the very first time in virtually the EXACT same way, so believe me I know what you’re talking about.
Good for you for being open about the whole thing. Doesn’t make it any easier, I know, but I think it can definitely keep it from dragging on forever, you know?
Comment from Ryan
Time July 13, 2008 at 9:08 pm
I’m getting my heart crushed right now. My ex of 3 and a half years is my best friend, it’s just the way it worked out and she will always be my best friend. Consequently I’m her best friend too as it turns out and we both don’t want to lose each othern but there’s something that’s not right, she’s not “in love” with me atm. It ended September of last year when we were at that next step stage and I was too afraid to take it, I was 20 at the time. The strange thing was, we were still going out to places together and still being ‘us’ for 3 or 4 months until I said she had to make a choice and she said she couldn’t. So I didn’t talk to her again for about a month but then she comes back with the I can’t live without you in my life thing. She’s probably done that to me twice and I know that she’s not a hanger-on-er cos it goes much deeper than that. She’s just finished university, only working part time and is very unsure of where she wants to go or what she wants to do in life, I believe this is playing a huge part in how she feels but what do I do, support my best friend and be there for her or walk away and do everything that goes against what I believe in, walking out on a friend in need.
Like to hear anyone’s thoughts because I feel so many different things I don’t know what to listen to.
Cheers Ryan
Australia
Comment from jamie
Time August 20, 2008 at 12:27 am
I just recently broke up with my gf of 3 years and I am absolutely devastated. Although it was me who was the one who ended it, I was really just pulling the trigger at my own execution. She couldnt handle the long distance thing anymore and had built this emotional barrier around her so that she wouldn’t miss me when she left. She took it a lot better than me. I can honestly say that I used to dismiss my male friends who had their ‘hearts broken’. I thought they were being weak. But now I realize how gut wrenching it is. I would rather get my ass kicked by a bunch of UFC fighters than go through this. I cant sleep; I can barely eat; I’m constantly thinking about the fact that she’s gone and will soon be with someone else. Probably sooner than I will be. That’s the hardest part. It absolutely does happen to guys and it absolutely positively sucks as bad as when it happens to a girl. The best advice I recieved, and the advice I’m trying desperately to follow, is to just ‘let it bleed’…feel as crappy as you want; break yourself down until it’s all out and then slowly start building yourself up. Go out with your friends; go out with other girls but let them know you’re not looking for anything serious…eventually (so I’m told) things do improve. I just hope it happens sooner rather than later because right now I am an emotional train wreck
Comment from Nina
Time August 26, 2009 at 7:06 pm
Unbeleivable, this site totally answered my question and more
Thank u so much
Comment from Still Hopeful
Time September 17, 2009 at 11:24 am
I want to thank the men who commented and shared their feelings and experiences in this thread. Your courage and honestly are commendable and so helpful to women who sometimes struggle to see the male experience with any kind of objectivity. I really believe that the way to healthy relationships is through clarity and compassion — we need to know where you’re coming from in order to meet you half way! Jeff, your insights are invaluable and I’m really enjoying reading through the archives. It’s refreshing to get your perspective, which sometimes flies in the face of some of the (dangerous) drivel out there passing itself off for Relationship Gospel. I’m 49 and in the process of divorce after 25 years of marriage, and though I consider myself confident and pretty savvy about life in general, my recent experiences with men as a newly single woman have been disconcerting at best and excruciating at worst! Your candor and intelligence (and that wicked sense of humor) are so appreciated! Thanks for the time you devoted to this site. Hope you’re well and happy in your new adventures!
Comment from mmagnolia
Time September 22, 2009 at 7:11 pm
Dear All!
The words that …”men and women are the same” still IS true, in matters o’Heart!
Lovecheers!
Comment from brokenhearted
Time April 6, 2011 at 2:17 pm
Yes we do… yet we are consider weak, needy and losers when it happens. Who want a guy who cries… Losers!!!
Comment from brokenhearted
Time April 6, 2011 at 2:20 pm
Yes we do… yet we are consider weak, needy and losers when it happens. Who want a guy who cries… Losers!!!
Read it and see…
brokenheartedmale.blogspot.com
Comment from mmagnolia
Time April 6, 2011 at 7:56 pm
Dear “brokenheated”
Condolences, 4sure…however!
Take a little pityPartybreak–tho’ not2long 2risk 4getting what it feels like!
(Merci4 blog map; better2have, not need!)
Get comfortable w/lingering on gonegood times! History is history, no erasing–and why would Uwant some such…
Change can happen!
BTW: Tracy Chapman’s music *Matters of the Heart” gives good musak2ruminate, especially the zippy keepDreaming tune!
FYI: Brokenheartedness doesn’t respect gender or genitals–repeating o’Self! Soooo…
Cheers2U, being Betterhearted–afterAll!
Comment from tony
Time September 15, 2011 at 3:37 pm
I have been dating a girl for 1yr and 4months we are very closed that we re planning to settle down.We have been frieds for 7yrs before the relationship started.But recently the gilr travelled to another country without telling me.Although i av cheated on her once which i begged for forgiveness and she said she has forgiven me but since then i have been good to her.So right nw i am afraid to accepy any woman in my life because that is the greatest heart break that i have ever seen.till 2moths nw she has never called me and later i found out she was with another man in another country.
Comment from mmagnolia
Time September 20, 2011 at 4:58 pm
Dear “tony”,
Condolences can be nice when facts=Facts!
Nonetheless, take comfort in knowing that others hotfooted on that road and survived!
But Hey: Have YOU called her; from whom comes the story of “she was with another man in another country”! Did Ueyeball!
Usay U2 “have been” friends for seven years. Make an effort2find out what’s Real!
Keeping of the Friend could soothe loss of the Lover. On the other hand, maybe she’s doing payback 4yrcheating–hope not …just wondering! Maybe she’s still stressed from that biz; won’t know unless Uask!
Besides that…Give another Girl a Chance!
From Sunrise2 (especially)Sundown,
Smiles o’Courage onYa!
Comment from tony
Time September 21, 2011 at 2:37 am
I dont have her number to call her and yes it is confirmed that she is with another man in another country.i did not mentioned that during the incidence her mother sent me a text that i should calculate all the money i have spent on her daughter that they will pay me back.It is obvious that they after money.I will try to give another woman a chance but i keep on having feelings towards this girl and i dont know hw to do away with it.
Comment from mmagnolia
Time September 24, 2011 at 9:52 pm
Well…”tony”!
Everylil thing is gonnaB alright…as long as Ucan think and type….at same time! Hope those “feelings” are on right side o’ daLaw!
Also, don’t merely “try to give another woman a chance”! Please….Just DO it!
U already know the brokenheart dance–Uwon’t waltz 2that same tune again…exactly as doing now!
But: First, do that “calculate”, and honor request of “mother”! Show her how respectful a son-in-law Uwoulda been.
When she pays, give it back. U did! give it 2the “Girl” out of Love–right!
Tell Mum 2send $$ to daughter w/thanks 4being a GoodFriend at a Good Time! Betcha YOU feel better on account of that *payback*.
Yes…Point is 4U 2get yrBestHeart in place!
BTW…p’haps “they” weren’t after moola!
Be a joyful learner…not a soreful one! Surely, YOU learned something worthy4U!
BTW…don’t whine ’cause Uhave “feelings” 4Her. Relish that. Truism IS True that t’is better 2Love and lose.. than never 2Love!
NOW…go find that *other* woman; look her in the eyes and say…Heavens2Betsy [Pls. Lord, let Her name be Elizabeth!]…it’s a Perfect time2meet Ya. Surely…t’is (will be)True!
Enjoy giving LadyLiz YourJoy2HerWorld!
Comment from df
Time January 21, 2012 at 1:10 pm
What people need to do is stop listening to stereotypes about men and women. Everything you hear and see from the media is total lies and double standards. Both genders do get heartbroken, both genders do cheat, and the list goes on.
Comment from mmagnolia
Time January 22, 2012 at 9:24 pm
MyMy…Dear “df”!
You wave someReality!
Mr. Newt, Ms. Monica, et alii are Oneville!
…Somersaults w/o someSalts!
Comment from Amanda Toth
Time March 14, 2012 at 7:35 pm
I was in a relationship with a guy for 6 yrs , he always have girls calling he said is That when we have a fight he try to find some one to replace me, but it never happen then we work things out then there we are again together until I find out he is talking with someone else. Or I found pictures together with another women in the camera,he always have been a cheater but I always give him a chance over and over ….still in love with him …after I found out things and brak up with him he calls and begs and tell me how miserable he is with out me .then he try so hard for few moths and back to the same …s…t
Last time when I was over for real! He called forever and finally he convinced me to go to couples counseling after 6 settions he new what was wrong then quit…..( he is a doctor) it work again foe 2 wks ,and now herewe are again. Break up again …..he call all the time or text but me …I love him but I don’t have more chances to give
Comment from mmagnolia
Time March 16, 2012 at 8:40 pm
DearODear Ms. Amanda!
6 years, eh….phaps, SEVEN is daCharm!
MoreSerious: Ask him 2have tests done.
Phaps, yourHe is *bipolar/mania*.
Beaware: That tune of “Physician heal thyself” could be sung 2YOU…2!
Ask/Answer 4U: Do You believe that He’s a compassionate person? Does He respect himself? [Does He agree w/You?]
If You disike the facts of Your answers, how can Ubear 2bare “I love him” feeling?
Ms. Amanda,
Spring forth w/EveryKindness o’Love 4U!
Comment from mmagnolia
Time March 17, 2012 at 4:18 pm
Ms. Amanda,
Oops4missing Your most important point!
You say He knows what’s “wrong”!
Apparently He doesn’t want2 OR isn’t able2 *fix* TheProblem is [..do You?].
Given that we’re All strangers here, t’is Strange that You didn’t share what IT is!
Your knowing TheProblem can make questions easier2ask AND should make answers easier2apply.
Bouquets o’Everything2Heal…BothHearts!
Comment from Shelby
Time December 19, 2007 at 12:16 pm
Ick…I have had so many hanger-on-ers. Stragglers. It’s like when you give a party and there’s that one guest who stays for the after-drink, the after-chat, the “let me help you clean up after,” etc. I have a male friend who “collects women.” He doesn’t even necessarily date them; he just calls to “check-in” ever so often. “What have you been up to? Where are you working now? How’s that going? Are you dating the same guy?” He has no real intention of ever getting serious with them, he just keeps them on the list of “these women could possibly want me” list. And it’s a sign of immaturity and a horrible thing because this guy is actually dating my best friend and she has to deal with him. And from talking to different men casually, it seems there are lots of them out there, too!