manslations

We’ve got another question from triple-E Deee, who is getting a little frustrated about where she and her man are allowed to put their parts. The boy is a Christian, you see, and he wants to protect her purity. Well…most parts of his body do, anyway.

It begs the question: How do you deal with those naughty urges when they collide with your beliefs.

(MANSLATOR’S NOTE: Since I, myself, have no beliefs — or at least none that interfere with smushing one’s body up against someone else — I’ll be using my imaginator today.

Deee writes:

Hi Jeff,

Its me again. Thank you for your manslation the other time! =D

Now as the relationship progresses, I’m confused about one thing, namely the physical intimacy part. See, my boyfriend is a christian, and he believes in protecting my purity. I believe in him. However, recently, our kisses has escalate into more intimate touches.

1) We defined our boundaries very clearly that it should not proceed beyond kisses.

2) As i’ve never been very intimate with any guys before, i am not very comfortable with the escalation. infact, there was once when he touched me in such a way (with clothes on) that brought about unknown sensation for me, i reacted greatly, shocking him and scaring me close to tears. He stopped cuz he’s afraid i’ll be addicted, and I was glad he stopped cuz I was very afraid.

3) He admits that he feels rather frisky at times, and that he wants to pleasure me because it arouses him.

We talked over this escalation/overstepping of boundaries quite a few times. Each time, he oversteps, he’d go back home, think about it, and feel guilty. The next day, he’d apologise and be resolved to standing by not going beyond kisses. However, this resolution doesn’t last very long. As a result, it sort of becomes a cycle.

I hate for him to be in this position. I think its miserable for anyone to go through the above.

Thus in our most recent talk over this issue after he apologise, I let him know that I understand that in a relationship, it is inevitable that intimacy increases. That I would like to discuss with him as to how to proceed in such a manner that i do not get frighten that easily, and that he will not feel as guilty.

But, he did not want to. Instead, he said that he should protect my purity, and that we should not kiss.

Now Jeff, I need your help to understand what is really going through his mind, and that how I may resolve this issue. I fear that it may be a key issue in the near future.

Thank you very much!

Yours Sincerely,
Deee

Dear Deee,

Ah yes, the specter of religious interference in the land of the lapmonsters…Sorry, I have no idea what I just said, so let’s move on.

If I’m reading the situation correctly, it goes like this:

• Innocent-ish Girl meets Christian boy who wants to “protect her purity”
• Christian boy pretty regularly forgets about protecting said purity in favor of some groping.
• Girl gets uncomfortable with his advances, boy retreats guiltily away…for a while.
• Girl wants to discuss moving the sexytime forward in a non-threatening way, boy says “No, must protect purity.”

Ok, all questions about “Hey, what about HIS purity? Doesn’t he worry about protecting THAT?” aside, let’s see where we are, and then we’ll see what you can do.

THE STATE OF THE NEAR-UNION

From what I can tell, if you want to move this thing forward, it’s going forward. Remember all that stuff I say about how when his words and actions don’t match, forget the words? Well, all that stuff about your purity? That’s words. Just because there’s a guy who lives in Rome and likes to wear funny hats agrees with those words does NOT mean that they are going to have more effect on your man. At least not until after you guys get it on when his brain gets plugged back into the power socket.

And I am NOT making light of his religious beliefs. (Certainly not right to his face, anyway.) No, seriously. All I’m saying is, his actions don’t seem to be 100% convinced that his words know what they’re talking about. In fact, I would tend to believe that his libido is governed FAR more strongly by how YOU are reacting to sex than by how he is imagining the big guy upstairs is reacting to sex.

In other words, if you wanna, he’s gonna.

WHAT TO DO?

As I see it, your cup runneth over with options on how to proceed. If you are committed to having naughty-naughty with Saint WeReallyShouldn’t, then you can:

1. DO NOTHING — Just sit tight. All you have to do is to be ready and willing for the sex, and it’s a-comin’.
2. TALK TO HIM AGAIN – Again, this is going to be a very easy conversation to schedule. Just start it after the next time he goes through his guilt cycle.
3. ASK HIM TO LET YOU WORRY ABOUT YOUR PURITY – It seems to me that he’s being a little strange about this whole thing, talking about YOUR purity. If you’re not concerned about that, you’re going to have to let him know that he’s defending something that you don’t want defended.
4. BE PATIENT – Religious beliefs are serious business to a lot of people. He might need some time to come to terms with the inconsistency between “protecting your purity” and moving forward with a completely consensual sexual relationship.

Good luck, Deee! Unless I’m very mistaken, I think you’re both about to have a religious experience.

What do you think miladies? How should Deee proceed to the holy land?