but I also tend to make first internet dates at an afternoon coffee shop or etc. Get to know someone before we start figuring out who’s buying the sex inducing martinis.

Mostly I like to pay my half. I don’t like the idea of a man thinking I owe them.

Once the cheap side of a person comes out it never goes away. There is a big difference between frugal dating and being down right stingy. Sounds like your guy is way over on the stingy meter.

Remember Jeff says look at a guys actions not his words. This guy’s actions speak volumes, even though he says he loves you.

What happens if one person suggests a date that is a bit pricey? I might accompany someone to the theater or a concert if they were buying my ticket, but if they expected me to cough up the 100+$ for my own to go with them, I would rather decline. How is this handled? I’m not a golddigger, but neither do I want to lay out alot of cash on something I wouldn’t choose to do on my own.

What is the current etiquette regarding dates with people unknown to you? Are you supposed to offer to split the check automatically?

my personal glitch is i’m old fashioned so i always paid. then i got married and even though we pretty much keep all our money common, i’m still the one to pull out the card and figure the tip because my wife doesn’t like to bother with bringing her purse into the restaurant or doing the math (and plus she likes to be seen in public with a man who is picking up the tab)

the law i’ve laid out to all my kids is *if you ask somebody out (i have two girls and one boy, btw) then it’s up to you to pay*.

by the same token, i’ve told my son that the smart money pays for the date even if she asked him out; and i’ve told my daughters to always bring enough money to cover the date even if you aren’t expecting to pay.

On the other hand, the last guy I went out with, left the check sitting on the table for 20 minutes, and didn’t refuse when I offered to pay my share. It was awkward and uncomfortable. I paid my half and made a mental note. When other issues arose in our phone discussions over the next few days, I realized we weren’t a good fit and broke off the relationship. Was it over paying for dinner, no, not really, but it kind of left a bad taste in my mouth.

Most of the men I’ve dated throughout the years were of modest means though, so we found things to do together that weren’t always expensive like Sassy suggested. I like going out to dinner, but I also like staying home renting a movie and splitting a pizza and a 6 pack. If you like each other the goal is spending time together, not necessarily how much money is spent.

I don’t blame men for getting put off by women who are always suggesting expensive outings with the expectation the man involved should pay for it and gladly. Ugh. If I really wanted to go somewhere, do something, that the guy I was dating wouldn’t suggest himself, I’d be more than willing to pay for both of us.

And I think you can tell alot about people in how they see money issues when first dating–what kind of partner they would be–cheap or extravagant. The movie “The Joy Luck Club” has an interesting example of this.

I agree with you, some therapists recommend, going out to on a date, once,,,,, every two weeks,,,,,, for those men that don’t make much money…..