Men and their Feelings…
Welcome back, ladies, to another round of, “So, do men really have feelings or what?” This one comes from our blog-pal, Susan (for some great laughs, check her stuff out at One Woman Show.)
MANSLATOR’S NOTE: Because she is, ya know, a WRITER…well, as you can see, she’s done quite a bit of the ol’ “writing” below. So today I’m going to try something different. I’m going to put in my responses to what she says right in the middle of her text. Like we’re having an e-conversation.
Hi, Jeff. Let me start off by saying I’m going to let you, Oh Great Manslator, off the advice hook right from the get-go.
Awww, yeah. Day off!
Yay, you say!.I love Susan! Wait – I’m writing this more for your interpretation and insight into…(drum roll) how men express their feelings and innermost thoughts, and what / how / does a man consider to be emotional bonding (if you guys consider it at all).
Ok, that’s not a day off at all. Innermost feelings, thoughts, and emotional bonding? That’s some serious manslating. Sigh. Ok, I’ll put on my special manslator hat and let’s go.
Stop retching! You knew I wouldn’t make this THAT easy, right?
Yes, I suppose I did know that.
You say men have feelings (and that did cause a bit of a stir here in recent posts), so I’d appreciate it if you could expand upon the idea. (I think your readers would, too.) Here’s my particular source of curiosity:
For practically all of my grown-up years men have expressed how easy I am to talk to. I would generally agree with this because I’m an open, honest, down to earth person and I’ll talk to practically anyone. (This includes the homeless man who hangs out near where I work. Last year I thought, “let me treat the homeless as individuals,” so one morning I cheerfully said, “good morning.” He then started yelling “Heyyyy, preeettty lady” in this crazy way, walking after me. I don’t talk to the homeless anymore.)
Yeah, in New York City you have a few days when you move here when you think, “This is horrible — I can’t just ignore these people.” And then after a remarkably short time you think, “Ah, ignoring some of these people is saving my life right now.” Sad, but true.
Anyway, in the course of dating men have told me things I know they normally would not tell most – if any – people unless they were in a long-term relationship. I mean, deep dark stuff that leaves me nodding in encouragement but thinking, “Shit. I just really wanted to date and/or sleep with you.”
I get far too much information from literally almost everyone I meet. It’s genetic or a pheremone thing, I think. Somehow I (and evidently you) give off a vibe or a scent or something that says, “Please, tell me that thing that you’ve never dredged up out of the pit of your memory, for fear of offending someone or getting arrested. No, I won’t mind! Dump away!”
For example, while not a deep dark secret, just recently a guy on our first date talked for 15 minutes about his fascination with the Mormon religion (he is not Mormon). He then told me he was embarrassed by all his gabbing, but “I feel I could tell you anything.”
Anything? He can tell you anything, and this is what he picks? That he’s interested in Mormons? Wow, dude. Really shot for the moon on that one, huh?
My turn to retch.
I don’t volunteer everything on my mind in these situations,
Probably an excellent policy, if the things that go through your mind are anything like the things that go through MY mind in these situations…
but I admit that until the last few years I always felt warm and gushy inside because I thought we were getting closer, and “ooh, he must really like me.”
Ah…bit of a leap in judgment there, as I’m sure you’re about to describe.
The problem is that none of the relationships went far or where I wanted them to. In college, after almost a year of pining for my friend and one-time (literally) lover, I had to tell him to stop coming over at 2 a.m. drunk to talk because I wasn’t his mother or his psychologist. I just regret it took me a year to realize that.
Yeah, my lady fair has a great method for dealing with this sort of thing. She’ll tell the offending friend, “Listen, I don’t think I’m the friend you tell that stuff to. It’s just not what I’m good at.” Then again, she’s far more daring than I am. I usually just nod and say, “M-hm,” and hope that I can avoid that person in the future. Sure, her way works better, but my way works better for cowards.
Clearly these guys felt comfortable or needed an outlet, but didn’t relate it to wanting a serious romantic relationship with me like I — and I think many women – did/would. (I’m so wise after all these years!)
That IS wise. I think the best thing you can know, no matter who you are, is that other people are not just YOU dressed like somebody else. I think we’re all far more different from each other than we usually imagine we are.
So how and when do you think most normal guys express their feelings? Do you think “normal” guys really ever “talk” about their feelings?
I think here’s where we get into one of the big differences. Most men (therapy addicts aside) don’t spend a ton of time talking about our feelings, as such. It’s not a denial thing — it’s not like we’re necessarily bursting to talk about them day and night, but never let it out. It just doesn’t occur to us to bring it up.
Why not? Because there’s no “solution” to be had. I’ll talk about my feelings if I’m working towards some resolution. But not just to talk about them for the sake of…I don’t even know what.
This, by the way, is why you might see a man get very frustrated with a woman when she is upset. She wants to talk about her feelings, and he can’t understand why she’s not working toward a resolution. When I learned that one, it totally blew my mind. As in, “Oh…so…when she says she’s worried she’ll never find the right outfit to wear, she’s not actually talking about never finding it. She’s just…worried about it?” I still don’t get it, but at least I know what it is.
is it possible for a woman to know when something’s being said just in the moment or because he truly digs her and wants a relationship with her? I know actions speak louder than words.
I think what YOU are experiencing with these tell-all dudes is that they don’t really have anyone in their lives who will listen to them. And that’s, you know, frustrating for them. He’s sitting there, he’s got Mormon thoughts just raging through him and nothing to do about it.
And here YOU come, all listen-y and pay-attention-y and they just DUMP. As you found out, it’s got nothing to do with whether or not they are into YOU. They’re talking about THEM.
I guess that’s the clue right there. If he’s into YOU, he’ll be into YOU. If he’s only going on and on about himself, who knows what he’s into besides himself? (And the founders of Salt Lake City.)
As for me, I hold a little more back about myself at first, but I’m not going to clam up or anything — although I’ve thought about changing my perfume, or doing one of those silly “Sssh! Don’t say anymore!” moves if it happens again. Did this ever happen to you — before you were asking for women to tell/ask you things?
Oh, my god yes. I have a couple of friends who I’d see at parties, and they’d corner me and hit the little button in their brain labeled “PURGE ALL SHAMEFUL RELATIONSHIP STORIES.”
How did you handle it?
I would listen to all their deep dark secrets, and then quickly find and tell the nearest person who I thought would laugh the loudest. After that, I started a website called “Manslations.”
Should I charge for therapy sessions?
Man, if you figure out how to do that legally, PLEASE let me know. I’d be such a good rich person.
That’s it., Oh Great Manslator. Thanks. as always.
You are most welcome, grasshopper.
—————-
Ladies? Ever experience the never-ending fountain of blather, only to find that he was just looking for a place to dump all that talk? How do YOU handle it?
Posted: January 28th, 2008 under Reader Requests.
Comments
Comment from mar
Time January 28, 2008 at 8:55 am
Hi Jeff,
No, I haven’t quite experienced that sort of thing myself, although I have a female friend who gets it *all the time.*
Here’s the story, it’s sad and I don’t know what to make of it: I have many times told her that I find it surprising that she gets so many men to talk her nearly everything that worries them, in particular their love issues. Myself, I never have that sort of relationship with men. She always replies that she thinks this difference is because men don’t think of her in sexual terms at all, and in turn don’t see her as a possible date. My friend has very low self-esteem, as you can see, but she also has not been getting any for a long while.
Very sadly, I think there may be some truth in this. For when people are attracted to others, generally speaking, they are not likely to behave in ways that make them look vulnerable. Instead they are more likely to behave in ways that are appealing to others, such as: being cheerful, interesting, funny, etc.
I’m not saying that any of this applies to Susan, herself. I just think that “telling others your problems” is behaviour that signals that you are being regarded as a friend. And when you get that right away from someone… well, I think that doesn’t look promising.
I think It’s very important to stand up against that. On the first date with my now ex-bf, he and I had a great time talking about nearly anything. At the end of the date, we were waiting for a taxi together when he said, regarding a common friend, that he used to have a big crush on her. This made all alarms ring in my head: “No, this is a date, we don’t mention other people we fancy!” I wasn’t interested in having THAT conversation so I replied that actually *I* fancied him. This made the end of our date very awkward, but things moved forward quite quickly after that.
Jeff, I really enjoy this blog, but I find that too often we are talking about stories where the men are giving bad signals that have to be read accurately. Perhaps you care to write a post sometime about early signs to detect a man who is not that interested? I bet that’d be useful!
Comment from LA Lady
Time January 28, 2008 at 9:44 am
I sure get this post! I am also one of those people that get told the gory details of stories I could care less about. It is quite confusing because as a woman I wouldn’t share that kind of info unless I really trusted and connected with that person (male or female) and considered them a true friend.
Over the past few years maturity and wisdom have taught me that being the confidant doesn’t make a relationship, it just makes you a dumping ground for thoughts and feelings that the people don’t have anyplace else to put them.
I also agree with Mar that guys that “share” too much too soon don’t see you as relationship material. If they did they would want to impress you, not be vulnerable and insecure. A guy wants to look “bad ass” (to use Jeff’s term) and sharing feelings is not the way most of them are going to do it!
Comment from KL
Time January 28, 2008 at 12:07 pm
The comments above are very interesting. So basically, not only do the men I’ve been going out with not see me as “relationship” material, but they are also not even seeing me as “1 night” material, since they are not trying to impress me (sharing too much too soon)…So I am definitely doing something wrong in that first 10 minutes!
I can accept that…except they usually ask to extend the coffee date to dinner (enjoying all that sharing, I guess), and go for the goodnight kiss (if I accept dinner, and hey, if I have to listen to that crap, then I might as well get a nice meal out of it!)…
Anyone have any suggestions on a good way to exit this situation? Just get up and leave? I don’t want to be rude. And if I say anything I don’t want it to become ammunition for them to start thinking that talking about their emotions is “bad”. They already think that. Talking is good. Oversharing because one is not interested in your date is bad.
Comment from KL
Time January 28, 2008 at 12:10 pm
Although, when I think about it, it is very effective. I never want to see them again! So, it definitely works.
Comment from Mary
Time January 28, 2008 at 12:26 pm
Hi Jeff,
I stumbled onto your site and am so glad I did! We women need all the help we can get in relating to men. So thank you for this blog!
I have a recommendation for people who don’t want to sit through hours of another telling them their challenges with their feelings. A friend of mine found a book called >a href=”http://www.imheart.net/index.html”>I.M. Heart. It gives tools and strategies on working though feelings. How to face and accept our feelings rather than having them control our daily lives. Anyway, it was a great read and valuable for those who are interested.
Thanks again for the posts. I am in a new relationship working through what is true and what is my story.
Create a great day!
Mary :>)
Comment from mar
Time January 28, 2008 at 12:30 pm
KL, right you are: talking IS good. My point was to say is that if that is ALL you get, then I think that’s a bad sign.
I think you are right not to want a second date with men like that. Still, you ask what you can do without being rude. I’d say try changing topic, try finding topics you’re both interested in: say, you both like books, then talk about books you’ve read. The point is to find someone who is going to enrich your life, not someone who is going to treat you as a dump field. So try finding things you both enjoy to talk about and to do together. If he is not interested in doing that, and insist in treating you like a therapist, then move on. And if he asks why you don’t want to see him again, then well, explain this to him as politely as you can. Maybe he’ll learn a lesson.
Comment from Mary
Time January 28, 2008 at 12:30 pm
Me again,
I’m sorry, the HTML didn’t work. The book is called “I.M. Heart”, by Sue McDaniel. Check it out!
Mary :>)
Comment from singlemomseeking
Time January 28, 2008 at 1:04 pm
First off, Jeff and Susan, you two make a great team!
(Hey, Susan, just curious: what’s your sign? I’ve got this same kind of magnet, and I always thought it was because I’m a Cancer… nurturing, open, I’ll-take-care-of-you-baby.)
The last time this happened to me — the date went on and on about his ex-wife the first time we went out, asking me for advice, etc. — I tried to suggest very nicely that maybe he should consider therapy?
I think I insulted him… but I just didn’t want to take this one one. Been there, done that.
Jeff, don’t you think I did a good job at offering a straightforward resolution? Just cut to the chase, right?
Comment from Tonya
Time January 28, 2008 at 2:14 pm
Jeff and Susan,
I’m about to pee my pants here. You guys are hysterical! We need to totally hang out. Well, except that we’re in 3 different places. Oh my. I am still crying over that one.
My problem is that when a man is not talking and just listening, I wonder what he’s thinking. For instance, when my soldier and I went out on our first date, he was very in tune with me. He asked lots of questions about me and listened very intently. When my facial expressions changed, he knew instantly that I was thinking something else. I was blown away. Afterwards, I wondered why he didn’t say much about himself and I felt like I talked too much. I didn’t trust that he was THAT into me. (As Julia Roberts says in Pretty Woman, “Its a lot easier to believe the bad stuff.”)
I guess there’s a happy medium somewhere. I do agree with you that perhaps if a guy is interested in you, he will allow time for you to talk.
Also, Susan, it is perfectly natural for the other party to continue talking if you’re not saying much. No one likes an “uncomfortable silence.” Especially on a first date. I realize you don’t want to divulge much but perhaps finding a topic you don’t mind talking about will give him some insight as to how wonderful YOU are. Otherwise, he might feel embarrassed to contact you again because he said too much or dominated the conversation.
Hope this helps.
You guys should take your show on the road. Whew!
Comment from Susan
Time January 28, 2008 at 2:31 pm
Hey, guys. Thanks for the input, and Jeff, for the wonderful conversation and advice as always. (And thank you for not revealing your deepest, darkest secret to me. Besides, I/we already know you’re from CT, which may be your deepest/darkest secret…) I didn’t really want “advice” per se because I don’t want to change who I am, but I’m relieved I’m not the only one being used as the er, “emotional tampon” — which is a term I hate but unfortunately I think it fits. Ok, forget that analogy.
Like KL and SinglemomSeeking, I think it took me a long time to sort of piece this together — i.e., “bonding” because a guy trusts you enough to say stuff doesn’t mean he actually wants to date you. Perhaps unlike the others, I truly believe a few of these guys DID like me at some level, and they DID say all sorts of things/compliments that made me think they “liked me” more than a friend. And I didn’t get only relationship woes, I got some seriously depressing stuff about families, childhood abuse, etc. — not necesarily on the first date, but on the 2nd or still early on. (Ok, Mar, I admit maybe those guys just really wanted someone trustworthy to talk to without feeling “more”.) But in the end I think those few got caught up in the moment and, as everyone here has said, weren’t ready or willing or wanting to pursue an actual relationship with me. Bastards because, frankly, those few broke my heart doing that.
I actually cried to my real psychologist friend once after one of these instances — I really liked the guy, I thought he liked me (and he shared with me some pretty horrible stuff he had endured), and then he moved to China on a consulting gig without leaving a forwarding address. I looked at her and practically wailed, “Is it me? Am I just a magnet for broken men?” (or something similar to what KL said). She looked at me, sighed and said, “No you’re not. THEY’RE just idiots and not the right guys for you.” I didn’t even have to pay her for the session.
So now I’m a bit more cautious and fear that I’m going to cover my ears and shout “Na na na na I can’t hear you!” if someone starts down this path. (Please, someone try this and let me know how it works.) But interestingly enough I recently met someone where it was clear on our first date that we both clicked, and while we shared some personal stuff with each other, we both kind of stopped and purposefully held back some, almost like we knew it would be good to slow down. So far, so good…
Anyway, sorry for my ramblings. Ladies, I’d still love to hear any other strategies you might have. And, Rachel, I’m a Virgo. You know, the neat freak / overly critical / conservative / virgin. We’re the life of the party.
Comment from Susan
Time January 28, 2008 at 2:41 pm
Tonya, I should explain that I do offer some of myself when we’re talking; I guess what I meant is that I’m definitely a bit more wary, or at least cognizant, of the whole thing now when I do.
BTW, I think that’s great your soldier is a good listener. Everything you write about him signals he digs you big time, baby!
Comment from KL
Time January 28, 2008 at 3:58 pm
Come to think of it, I did get some non-relationship sharing as well. A man I had 3 dates with told me about his mother’s suicide on the 2nd date. I’m not sure why.
A few days after the third date he sent me an email, said that a good friend of his died in his sleep at age 46, and that he didn’t want to see me for a while, while he “reevaluated his life.” I emailed him back saying “Sorry for your loss, take care.” I really never expected to hear from him again. About a week later he emailed me that as part of changing his life he had quit smoking and was selling his home. Ok. I didn’t reply because he didn’t ask how I was doing. It was a 3 line statement email. A week after that, he emailed me again with another status update.
Finally I emailed him back just to clarify that while we had 3 very nice dates, they were only 3 dates. I wished him happiness but said that he didn’t need to keep in touch as I didn’t know him well enough to wait around for him to change his life, I was living my own, thank you. This was in August or September.
Christmas day I got a text message from him just saying, “Merry Christmas”. Again, I did not reply. Not sure what all that means except he’s looking for some sort of validation that he still exists or something. Odd.
This one did actually have a decent relationship with his ex wife and (on our dates) asked questions about me and listened to the answers.
But I do know that men HAVE feelings. They are human, all evidence to the contrary! The problem is, they don’t seem to know what to do with them. At least the ones over 35. I don’t know about the younger set.
Comment from Heather
Time January 28, 2008 at 5:36 pm
Last week I had a one hour conversation with a guy and I think he said the word diarreah about 6 times. Now, innocently enough it was his child’s diarreah but still it didn’t put me in the mood to have dinner with him any time soon even though he sounded like a great guy. I’ve also had a guy marvel that we actually talked for 45 minutes. Now that guy needs a friend.
Oh and Susan I’ll be over soon to talk about “recentlys”.
As always Jeff, thanks for the edutainment.
Comment from itsallabouthallie
Time January 28, 2008 at 8:07 pm
Oh my goodness I stumbled upon your site because of BetaMom! You are great! You and Susan are hysterical! U love that someone it taking the time to explain men.
I too have experienced this emotional dumping, I wonder what is wrong with me as I sit there thinking about how I am not “getting any” because now i know to much! Oh well!
Last guy i had dump on me for two years and I finally just stopped talking to him. I went the coward way, he ended up text messaging me asking if i had moved. He still calls but much less these days…
Comment from Susan
Time January 28, 2008 at 9:46 pm
By the way, I must just add that we did not rehearse this…and if you know me (or read my site) you know I’m all chatty and long-winded when I write. Probably to my readers’ (and long suffering friends’) chagrin…
Jeff, I also meant to thank you for your kind comments about my blog and the link – and for calling me a writer! I try to say it out loud without laughing myself silly, but it’s getting a little easier. 
Comment from hunter
Time January 28, 2008 at 10:04 pm
to KL,
…I talk about my “exe’s”, when women ask me, “why are you single?”…….
Comment from KL
Time January 29, 2008 at 5:53 am
hunter – that’s too funny. I would never, ever, ask that question, though. I never ask a question I don’t want to know the answer to!
Comment from Jeff Mac
Time January 29, 2008 at 9:23 am
Wow! You know, I had no idea this was such a common problem. I guess I was so buried under a pile of ridiculously personal information that I couldn’t see all of you in the same predicament! Ok, here goes:
KL: So…what’s going to happen in the Spring? Or is that just when humans get too randy to stick to any “no dating” resolutions?
mar: Good idea for a post — early signs of NO WAY JOSE. I’ll think on that one…
LA Lady: Good point. A guy who feels comfortable being decidedly un-bad-assed with you is an excellent sign that he doesn’t see you as the kind of person for whom he’d want to show his bad-assery.
Mary: Thanks so much for stopping by, and with a book recommendation!
singlemomseeking: Well, I don’t know HOW to rate your solution — the bravery it displays is beyond the abilities of my instruments. I’m WAY too cowardly for that one.
Tonya: Man, who can we call to get that man HOME for you?
Susan: You are most welcome. And thank YOU for the term “emotional tampon.”
heather: Listen, you shouldn’t judge this man. Maybe he was slidin’ into first and his shorts began to burst, and he just naturally had to say “diarrhea.” Did you ever think of that? Hmmm? No, I didn’t THINK so.
itsallabouthallie: Hey! I’ve read your site as well. So glad you stopped in! And a fellow coward is always welcome here.
hunter: Interesting tactic. How’s it working?
Comment from KL
Time January 29, 2008 at 10:49 am
What happens in the spring? Hopefully I will have a better attitude. You DON’T want to date me right now! I’m just too annoyed with the whole thing. I’m sick of the cold weather. (I’m from CT too.) So, if I met someone worth going out in the cold for right now, I’d just have a bad attitude. Trying not to inflict that on anyone nice. Or anyone not nice.
Comment from naturegirl
Time January 29, 2008 at 1:44 pm
I’m creeping up on the conclusion that some of these men are just REALLY lonely. The ones who over-share don’t have support networks, or good friends with whom they can share their feelings. It is also possible that over-sharing is an attempt to jump start the relationship, and achieve emotional intimacy quickly.
Either way, it’s kind of creepy when some stranger tells me things that make me uncomfortable. Boundary issues! TMI!
Comment from Heather
Time January 29, 2008 at 2:04 pm
No…hmmm…didn’t think of that, nor spellchecking diarrhea.
Comment from mar
Time January 29, 2008 at 8:28 pm
Jeff, great! I look forward to it!
Comment from Selena
Time January 30, 2008 at 8:23 pm
I’m thinking along the same lines as naturegirl, that these fellows are really lonely. When guys talk excessively about an ex, my gut reaction is that they aren’t over her yet, even if they are bitter when discussing her. I consider such a red flag.
Comment from Jvern
Time February 5, 2008 at 4:23 pm
It’s so wonderful to know there similar people out there who feel like a metaphorical diaper for other people’s verbal diarrhea. I feel ya Susan! I’ve been a unofficial therapist my whole life. The hairdressers is always a emotionally draining event as it never fails my stylist will tell me her health, relationship, monetary, political standing, sexual orientation, drug abusing woes. I’ve been on many an awkward first date in which the guy will talk non stop for 2 hours about every thought that comes into his brain only to end the date declaring his love for me.
Guy friends I’ve had feelings for will kiss me, but later tell me they “admire me” to much and do not want a real relationship just yet. Instead they need to confess how unhappy they are with their boss. But I’ve also found there is power in being an active listener. Sure you have to put up with gabby gabbersons whose idea of an interesting conversation is to tell you all about their latest ex girlfriend, her preference for how she ate her eggs not to mention how self CENTERED she was. But you also learn about the crazy people by date 1 vs. date 81. They usually like their eggs over easy with a side of Mormon Palms.
Comment from Susan
Time February 6, 2008 at 9:39 am
Jvern, I completely agree that it is much better to weed ‘em out after the first date, rather than way down the road — even if it then seems like a lifetime only of first dates! And thanks for the “eggs with a side of Mormon Palms” – that made me laugh this morning!
Comment from Theatregal
Time February 11, 2008 at 3:33 am
WOW!!!!
I am so glad to know I am not the only one. I’ve been asked to put on the “white coat” literally, since I was about 12 years old.
Must be some type of aura we give off. I’m tired of being everyone’s, men and women’s therapist. It would be nice to have someone want to be my therapist. Better yet, my incredible, amazing lover. YEP!! After 7 single years…….I think I’d enjoy that……As long as there was mutual chemistry as well!!! Straight, as well. I am can’t help it!
Comment from tee
Time February 27, 2008 at 11:59 pm
I am sure I will hear some flack for this but really think about it…women are the ones who are built with listening skills, more ability to focus and also we exhibit our compassionate side more openly than men do. As human beings, I think it is only right to be compassionate and if someone is pouring their heart out to you – first – estimate the number of drinks/other mood altering substances they have had and second – decide whether you may be the only person this man or woman feels comfortable expressing him/herself to. Think of it as a donation if nothing else. Why not donate 10 or 20 minutes of your time as a service to others who may be suffering inside and less fortunate than you? Just don’t do it if it is going to bring you down too much or make you feel bad. Pray for the person, that always helps.
Comment from Kystal
Time November 29, 2008 at 10:30 am
Wow!!, im 21 and have been in this situation an had no clue what to do, me and this guy talk for like 4and a half hours at a time, 1hour and half the shortest, always talkin about how he feels about stuff and wot not, calls and texts me at all kinds of hours, i liked him so put up with it, it got to the point i assumed he must feel the same way if he likes talkin to me this much so i told him i had feelings for him, he said “hmm…i havent thought about u in that way…”, Jeez!! i know i aint hallie berry bt i know i look good and he himself has complemented me on occasions, how can he have not noticed “all of this” lol, bt seroiusly i was upset and slightly confused till i read this page now it all makes sense…he just dont see me like that…his loss..still shocked about the whole thing though. Great site btw.
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Time February 8, 2009 at 10:13 pm
[...] if men are initimated by women who can hold their own (note my awesome biceps in the photo) and what it means when men express their feelings to a woman…or, in my case, why men seemed to like to dump their crazy shit on [...]
Comment from KL
Time January 28, 2008 at 8:51 am
Holy Cow! I thought I was the only one with the “therapist aura”. I’ve recently given up dating (at LEAST until spring) because I am basically sick of listening to the crazy ex-wife/ex-girlfriend stories. On the first date. In the first 10 minutes. It doesn’t stop when I look at my watch. And they wonder why they never get a second date…or a second hour to the first. They seem so normal on the phone, via email, etc. All I’m thinking is, “If she is so insane, why did you leave your children with her?” So, either he’s lying about all these crazy things, or he is a really, really bad father. Either way, I’m out. Totally. Until at least spring.
Either there’s something wrong with me, these guys are all broken, or there is one crazy woman out there, and when I meet her we are going to have a little talk, lol.