manslations

We’ve got a question today about the “intimidation” factor. And it involves the term “cougar” which is just hot.

So, is it possible that he won’t call because he’s “afraid of you.” Does this happen? Could it be that she played it too cool? Let’s see if we can figure it out, eh? Uh, ahem, I said “Eh??” Oh wait. You’re not actually here, so you can’t answer. Internet, right, right. Let’s move on.

Now I do understand the rule, if they are interested they will call, but what if they are afraid of you, (Because you are a hot MILF Cougar, in the parlance of the day) and you probably played it a little too cool out of trained responses to the expected jackass of your current age group?

Cause as a Cougar I do know the light of infatuation in the eyes of a truly well laid lad. But he hasn’t called. And I think it’s cause I was a bit on the distant side as he walked me to the train. And his youthish romantical streak may have read it as, um, intimidating?

Dear Hot Milf Cougar,

Well, there are a couple of things in here that jump out at me. Here’s what I’d say.

A LITTLE DISTANT = INTIMIDATING?

Let’s do the second part first (since, as I am fond of recalling, that’s how they answered stuff in that movie, “Quiz Show.”) You saw the “light of infatuation” in his eyes, but you were a little on the distant side. And as you say, maybe it was because you’ve got a little armor up from your expectations of the rampant jackassery you usually face in men. Could this give him the signal to abort the mission? Sure.

Most guys don’t mind facing a little resistance. In fact, as I mentioned in the “how soon can we have sex” post, we’re usually expecting at least SOME form of a closed door at first.

What most guys — at least the right guys anyway — are NOT interested in facing is a brick wall. I mean, I don’t mind knocking on a door, slipping notes under it, camping outside there to try to gain entry when I’m not 100% trusted yet. But nobody wants to knock on a wall. That’s just dumb. It makes you feel like a moron, to knock on something that just flat doesn’t open. Or like a “mormon” which is what I accidentally just typed. And no amount of magic underpants can get you through a brick wall.

So sure, it is possible that you out-cooled the situation some. The good news there is that it is possible to get past that one. You just have to relax a little the next time so he can see that, “Remember that steel-reinforced concrete wall? See that hinge there? Yeah, that’s a door.”

HOT MILF COUGAR = INTIMIDATING?

Not really. I mean, I’ve heard this one before. A lot, actually. And it always puzzles me. I mean, guys just don’t really operate that way. If he’s the right guy, how could he possibly be intimidated by you? What, just because you’re a hot milf cougar? “I really like her, but she scares me. What if she…” What? Beats him up? What is this guy — the one who likes you so much — so afraid of? Does not compute.

What is this “intimidation” anyway? What does intimidate men (and women) is the sense that they don’t have a chance. It’s why most guys would never hit on Heidi Klum, even if they had the chance. They would likely (and probably correctly) assess their proper location on the food chain and decide, “Ok…no sense in getting shot down THAT hard.”

But you know what? If the right guy actually MET Heidi Klum? Yeah, not intimidated at all. At all. Why? Because he would sense the open door vibe from her.

I knew OF my sweet lady fair long before she and I actually met, and I can tell you this — I had ZERO expectation that she would ever even talk to me. So I didn’t even consider her. I wasn’t even interested — she just wasn’t an option. And she’s said the same thing about me. We appeared to be very, very different people. Until we, you know, met.

SO, WHAT’S THE VERDICT?

Hard to say with absolute certainty why he didn’t call. I mean, the only two reasons why a guy EVER doesn’t call are:

1. He doesn’t want to call.
2. He doesn’t think you want him to call.

How to tell the diff? No great way with only this information. You’re going to have to put yourself out there a little. Not a lot. Just a little. Be a little less armored. You don’t have to bare your soul, necessarily. He’s just got to know that you’re open to the possibility of being open to him. And if he’s STILL not interested, well, good to find out now.

You know what will NOT tell the diff? Sleeping with him. I’m not saying it would be bad to do it — sex really doesn’t ruin stuff. Not stuff that’s worth keeping anyway. I’m just saying that it won’t tell you a thing. You seem to know he wants to DO you. Great, but it’s only half the story. Now you need to know if he wants to spend time with you. And the only way to find out is to open the door a little and let him know you’d be open to that.

Good luck, hot milf cougar. Rawr! Bring down the walls a little. Even if he’s not the right guy, whoever IS the right guy is going to need those walls down before he can come in.

What do you say, folks? Is he intimidated? Uninterested? Terrified? Randy? What’s going on?