Comments on: Why’s He Acting So Sweet, So Soon?

By: hunter

hunter — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 04:42:28 +0000

to Mary,

Yes, touchitude can be luxurious, can’t it?….

By: Mary

Mary — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 16:59:03 +0000

wow… i’m pretty overwhelmed with the detailed replies… so i just wanna say thanks to you all for your helpful comments

in response to mar’s question, i was trying to analyse his behaviour coz i wanted to know what exactly he wanted from me… if i knew he wanted something deep and meaningful or whatever then i wouldn’t go along so easily. i’ve already had that with my ex – who i was with for just over a year (90% of that time could be described as “perfect” until he felt it was getting far too serious for him) – but that crashed and burned so… yea i’m feeling cynical right now. i guess hunter’s right: i’m not ready for anything just yet!

i genuinely enjoyed Train Guy’s touchitude though. it made me melt the way he acted so affectionate right from the start…. i would accept mmagnolia’s mission but i’m away on a really long trip right now so i don’t think it’s appropriate to ask questions anymore.

By: mmagnolia

mmagnolia — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 00:49:25 +0000

Dear Mary: Your mission–should you choose to accept it–is to study the answers here AND then, ask Mr. TrainGuy the questions on your mind. If he says he doesn’t have the answers, give him some stirred with your own ‘gut’ spices. On the other hand: [1]Seems a little soon to play serious footsie after the breakup, given that your “ex” broke with you vs. your being the breaker; and [2] Seems you’re on a fake-footsie playground, so your issues vis-a-vis intimate coupling may signal inscrutable or unresolved stuff of your own! BTW: It might help to share your recent break with the him! BTW2: JM, that phraseology “do sex upon you” [missed your use of same B4] is so oohlala; will have sweet fantasies of such 4that Mr. Special–mmerci upon you!!

By: hunter

hunter — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 00:06:27 +0000

If a woman has to ask about a “touchy” man, then, most likely, she is not ready for him.

By: mtn_gal4

mtn_gal4 — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 23:30:21 +0000

YES, it’s a TRAP and it’s a MO that works and gets results… either RUN away as fast as you can, or put up with it and watch it work it’s way into your “pants”…. as it will inevitably do -

By: Ellen

Ellen — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:17:44 +0000

I’ve learned (partly from this blog!) that any time I try to figure out a guy’s (or anyone’s for that matter) behavior, thoughts, or intentions, I’m in trouble. The question for me these days is, how does it FEEL TO ME? Am I comfortable in — even pleased by — the situation, the person’s behavior? Or does it feel a little weird, not quite right, or downright icky?

My sense from Mary’s comments is that she is firmly in the latter category–something just ain’t right with this guy. And, ladies, our instincts are usually pretty good — if it feels icky NOW, it usually just gets ICKIER. Perhaps Mary is just seeing the tip of the icky iceberg.

But these days I’m also into being easy on myself. If aspects feel not quite right and other aspects feel kind of nice and I want to try going where he’s leading…if the ickiness gets confirmed, well, I give myself a pat on the back for being so intuitive!

By: Selena

Selena — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 15:35:27 +0000

I’d say he is highly attracted to you and this is the way he expresses that. I’ve known some guys like this, some not-so much. You can pretty much bet he’s hoping to get sex, but he might have decided he wants you as his girlfriend as well, so he’s acting “as if” you already are. What better way to get you to go along in either case?

Since you are so recently out of a previous r’ship, it’s really up to you on how you feel about this early “touchy-feelyness”- rather than analyzing why he’s doing it. If it makes you uncomfortable talk to him about it.

By: fred

fred — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 12:56:32 +0000

he could just be a very affectionate type of person – you wouldn’t know unless you spent a lot of time around him when he was with his other friends … I live in a town where there are lots of healthy hippy types and they are always hugging and kissing, so it’s sometimes almost a cultural thing?

By: mar

mar — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 12:04:50 +0000

Hi Jeff

I agree. Sure he wants to get laid (what man does not?) but that wouldn’t necessarily mean that is all he wants. And, might he want anything else? I also agree that we cannot know without more info.

BUT… I’m inclined to think that one does not “get sweet” out of an instrumental motivation such as getting laid, or getting this or that… I mean, to get sweet one has to feel sweet right? OK, maybe there are lots of masters of performance out there, who can pretend whatever feeling they want, but I don’t think this would apply to the bulk of mankind.

My bet is that if he is getting sweet, this is because something inside him (a feeling) moves him when he is with her… OK, not saying love, but… chemistry? infatuation? sexual drive?

Why does Mary want to know what it means? Is this just (female) curiousity? Just take it easy and enjoy, whatever it is? Why not?

Best, Mar