Comments on: How Do You Know When He Just Wants You For Sex?

By: martha

martha — Fri, 20 May 2011 17:04:29 +0000

the “i thought we agreed i would call first” thing…he’s married or in a committed relationship…you’re the chick on the sly.

By: thegirl

thegirl — Tue, 31 Aug 2010 20:04:22 +0000

i’m in a booty call thing with a guy for 2 years now, i let him go after 1 year, he pursued me and started it back up…why?lol but any ways this guy sounds like a jerk and i’d find someone else to mess with, it would bug me to death if a guy said “I thought we agreed that I would call first” are you kidding me. what a dud.i’d slapped him if he said that to me.:) good luck girl but i think you can do better.

By: Jessica

Jessica — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 22:24:18 +0000

ok so i kinda have a question like this my friend (and its really my friend) was almost raped a few weeks afo by her ex and she told her current boyfriend and at first he was the normal oh i’m gonna beat him up but after that he kept on persisting that she have sex with him like they normaly do even tho she wasn’t ready and now shes starting to notice that everytime she comes over and they end up having sex afterwords he starts playin games watchin tv talkin to other people online or goin to sleep and completly ignoring her so i’m wondering and so is she if this means that all he ever wanted was sex.. please write back as soon as possible. thank u

By: Alicia

Alicia — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 18:41:21 +0000

I really do not think the focus should be on the calling issues. The fact that you do not feel desired for anything other than sex is a red flag. This is and will lead to an unhealthy relationship if it gets that far. On a positive note, if you do not feel attached in some emotional way (which is a very complicated thing to do for our gender) I say, turn the tables. You use him! Go on enjoying your life and exploring your options! Play the grounds a bit and find a man that will desire to be with you other than a booty call! Any gal can be a booty call, you deserve more.

If you are still thinking about the calling rules… no. There are no rules. You do what feels right without being mentally derranged! You know, no obsessive calling. If there is a mutual attraction, calling and being called is a booster for your day! Good luck

By: lynn

lynn — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 06:22:06 +0000

So, I meet this gut at the airport and we hit it off tremendously. He text messages me almost the entire two weeks I am out of town. Insistant that we get together upon my return. We have met for a beer and a bight to eat, he has made me dinner, and we have gone on a road trip together all in 2 weeks time. I have not been interested in someone in years,but I feel like letting my guard down with this one. The problem is on our 5 hour drive back home, after an amazing day at the grand Canyon, he tells me he knows he is not ready for a relatioinship. He says he is not happy with himself and doesn’t think it’s fair to expect someone else to be. HUH??? The night before he tells me he knows it’s time to let go of hos frat boy days and look for something that has some substance. Although he says that it’s hard to let those days go. He has even metioned future trips(months down the road)with me. I want to say hey pal this is called dating. And dating can lead to a relationship. I have no idea how to handle him. Should I leave him be for a while, and let him come to me?

By: Terry

Terry — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 12:49:10 +0000

A “hump-n-bail?” You should patent that one, Jeff (hey, if Trump can try to patent, “You’re fired!”….)

If the guy said he’d call, I’d wait for him to call. If he called, great. If he didn’t call, I figured his word wasn’t good for much and that he’d done me a favor.

I agree with Susan on “I thought we agreed that I would call first.” Who even says that?

I think Alice can do better.

By: Jeff Mac

Jeff Mac — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 16:37:05 +0000

Just to clarify — to “keep calling” or “hound” or “call too much” — absolutely. Those will scare a guy off. And frankly, they should. That’s weird behavior.

But in terms of a man being scared off just because a woman called (as in, called the day after a date or something) is…well, here’s what I’ll say about that. I know it gets said a lot, “the chase” and “the woman shouldn’t call.” I’ve heard that. But I have never (and I’m talking literally NEVER) heard even ONE man talk about a woman who he:
a.) liked a lot,
b.) received A call from her, and as a result,
c.) stopped liking her.

I’m saying literally never one time have I heard about that. If the guy in that example bails, it’s because he wasn’t interested to begin with.

Now, if it was:
a.) likes her a lot.
b.) she calls him eleven times in 2 days.
c.) stops liking her.

Well, yes. That’s a man afraid for his life.

By: Hannah

Hannah — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 15:55:36 +0000

I tend to think you CAN mess it up by calling or calling too much. As an example: I might be interested in a guy and getting to know him better, but since he’s emailed me FOUR times in the last couple days without me having a chance to respond to the first email yet, my feelings have changed a bit. I’m thinking: Oh S#$%, this guy is a cling-on in a really big way. He’s thinking way too much about me and we just met! So, I never got the chance to wonder about him–or hardly even breathe in between his emails. See what I mean? So, I think, in the early stages of a relationship, while perceptions and feelings are still being formed, too many requests for contact in a short period of time can turn a person off real quicklike. My .02

By: Susan

Susan — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 15:19:33 +0000

“I thought we agreed that I would call first”

Did you really agree to that?

Can you only call him if you “need him”, or can you call to say hello?

Not a great start, in my opinion.

By: Selena

Selena — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 14:59:21 +0000

I hope the “I thought we agreed that I would call first” statement was a joke. Like Mar, it gives me a bad vibe about the guy.

Really, people who like each other, liked to be called. So it shouldn’t be weird to call someone you slept with at all. The rule I think should be one related to mirroring behavior–if someone calls you, then in turn you can call them. Once or twice. If someone doesn’t call you, or call you back, you don’t go on to call them 4-8-12 times to hunt them down and make them talk to you! As tempting as that might be. Sigh.