Comments on: He’s Stressed…and She’s Out http://manslations.com/2008/04/29/hes-stressedand-shes-out/ Ask for Jeff Mac's advice on what men think -- about relationships, dating, sex, love, squirrels, whatever. Tue, 07 Sep 2010 00:30:34 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: Kim http://manslations.com/2008/04/29/hes-stressedand-shes-out/comment-page-1/#comment-4327 Kim Fri, 02 May 2008 19:40:13 +0000 http://manslations.wordpress.com/?p=262#comment-4327 I had something similar happen to me. I met a guy and all was going GREAT for five months. He said he loved me, we talked about getting a place together, and all was going right for once I thought. That is until it was time for his house to be foreclosed on and problems with his job arouse. He told me one day he loved me and didn't want to loose me, the next he needed to figure out his life so he wanted to break up, and finally a week later that he was moving out of state. He said his reasioning behind breaking up was I didn't let him be himself. I am not sure if it was me or him, but I know it came as one of the biggest shocks of my life. I guess you just have to realize that some men run when things aren't going their way and it is better to find out sooner than later. It was awful though that's for sure! I had something similar happen to me. I met a guy and all was going GREAT for five months. He said he loved me, we talked about getting a place together, and all was going right for once I thought. That is until it was time for his house to be foreclosed on and problems with his job arouse. He told me one day he loved me and didn’t want to loose me, the next he needed to figure out his life so he wanted to break up, and finally a week later that he was moving out of state. He said his reasioning behind breaking up was I didn’t let him be himself. I am not sure if it was me or him, but I know it came as one of the biggest shocks of my life. I guess you just have to realize that some men run when things aren’t going their way and it is better to find out sooner than later. It was awful though that’s for sure!

]]> By: Jeff Mac http://manslations.com/2008/04/29/hes-stressedand-shes-out/comment-page-1/#comment-4318 Jeff Mac Wed, 30 Apr 2008 18:38:16 +0000 http://manslations.wordpress.com/?p=262#comment-4318 <strong>J dog</strong>: Way to go, knowing when to hold 'em and not fold 'em. Not always such an easy call. <strong>mmagnolia</strong>: Always a great encourager, you are! <strong>catherine</strong>: Your last sentence made me crack up. Such a succinct way to make a great point. And yes, I'm about as stressed out as can be, and I'm in a relationship - so it is possible! J dog: Way to go, knowing when to hold ‘em and not fold ‘em. Not always such an easy call.

mmagnolia: Always a great encourager, you are!

catherine: Your last sentence made me crack up. Such a succinct way to make a great point. And yes, I’m about as stressed out as can be, and I’m in a relationship – so it is possible!

]]> By: catherine http://manslations.com/2008/04/29/hes-stressedand-shes-out/comment-page-1/#comment-4319 catherine Wed, 30 Apr 2008 13:53:04 +0000 http://manslations.wordpress.com/?p=262#comment-4319 Take what he says at face value. Don't wait and certainly don't put your life on hold for a guy who's stressed out. Many men are stressed out and it doesn't stop them from being in a relationship. Take what he says at face value. Don’t wait and certainly don’t put your life on hold for a guy who’s stressed out. Many men are stressed out and it doesn’t stop them from being in a relationship.

]]> By: mmagnolia http://manslations.com/2008/04/29/hes-stressedand-shes-out/comment-page-1/#comment-4320 mmagnolia Wed, 30 Apr 2008 03:09:52 +0000 http://manslations.wordpress.com/?p=262#comment-4320 Dear Bec, of course! be a friend--his best friend. Your 'Prince' seems to want&need friendship; he deserves YOURS! See!See: Friend J dog's happy ending and sweet beginning; on all our behalf: Blessings 2uBoth for inspiration! Dear Bec, of course! be a friend–his best friend. Your ‘Prince’ seems to want&need friendship; he deserves YOURS! See!See: Friend J dog’s happy ending and sweet beginning; on all our behalf: Blessings 2uBoth for inspiration!

]]> By: J dog http://manslations.com/2008/04/29/hes-stressedand-shes-out/comment-page-1/#comment-4321 J dog Tue, 29 Apr 2008 21:04:45 +0000 http://manslations.wordpress.com/?p=262#comment-4321 I'd say go with your intuition on this one. I was good friends with a guy for over a year. He never made the moves on me. Told him I liked him (as he was getting over an ex) and it slowly went from there. He went through the whole "to stressed to be serious about me" thing. I told him I cared about him a lot and was there for him but as a friend but wouldn't wait around for him for long. We are together now and he's devoted. You to come to a true decision within yourself that you'll be there for him because you care but you are a "together" person and you can take him or leave him relationship-wise. That's my attitude. Tell him you have confidence that he'll figure out all his problems eventually and to not take things so seriously. Then when you are around him be your super fun, positive self and don't over think what he does. Just have fun. If he comes around great. If not, then he wasn't for you anyway. I’d say go with your intuition on this one. I was good friends with a guy for over a year. He never made the moves on me. Told him I liked him (as he was getting over an ex) and it slowly went from there. He went through the whole “to stressed to be serious about me” thing. I told him I cared about him a lot and was there for him but as a friend but wouldn’t wait around for him for long. We are together now and he’s devoted.

You to come to a true decision within yourself that you’ll be there for him because you care but you are a “together” person and you can take him or leave him relationship-wise. That’s my attitude. Tell him you have confidence that he’ll figure out all his problems eventually and to not take things so seriously. Then when you are around him be your super fun, positive self and don’t over think what he does. Just have fun. If he comes around great. If not, then he wasn’t for you anyway.

]]> By: Jeff Mac http://manslations.com/2008/04/29/hes-stressedand-shes-out/comment-page-1/#comment-4323 Jeff Mac Tue, 29 Apr 2008 20:55:32 +0000 http://manslations.wordpress.com/?p=262#comment-4323 <strong>Cindy</strong>: Well, that's certainly what I want, I'll tell you that much! <strong>Aurora</strong>: Just had to tell you, your last sentence made me snort. <strong>Tonya</strong>: Man, I hope that soldier knows who he's got a-waitin' for him back in the world. <strong>Ame</strong>: Yeah, that definitely can happen. I'm certainly not saying that all stressed out men stay true. There are some guys who lean on someone during the tough times, and then move on when they want to forget those times. Around here, we call them "douchebags" but local nomenclature may vary. Cindy: Well, that’s certainly what I want, I’ll tell you that much!

Aurora: Just had to tell you, your last sentence made me snort.

Tonya: Man, I hope that soldier knows who he’s got a-waitin’ for him back in the world.

Ame: Yeah, that definitely can happen. I’m certainly not saying that all stressed out men stay true. There are some guys who lean on someone during the tough times, and then move on when they want to forget those times. Around here, we call them “douchebags” but local nomenclature may vary.

]]> By: Ame http://manslations.com/2008/04/29/hes-stressedand-shes-out/comment-page-1/#comment-4322 Ame Tue, 29 Apr 2008 19:50:11 +0000 http://manslations.wordpress.com/?p=262#comment-4322 I don't know, I had a similar thing happen with this guy I liked who was finishing his PhD. I never put any pressure on him, was there for him when he wanted to relax, and not pushy when he was stressed. Then he finished his PhD and immediately found someone else to be the right girlfriend, so it can go either way. I don’t know, I had a similar thing happen with this guy I liked who was finishing his PhD. I never put any pressure on him, was there for him when he wanted to relax, and not pushy when he was stressed. Then he finished his PhD and immediately found someone else to be the right girlfriend, so it can go either way.

]]> By: Tonya http://manslations.com/2008/04/29/hes-stressedand-shes-out/comment-page-1/#comment-4324 Tonya Tue, 29 Apr 2008 18:47:57 +0000 http://manslations.wordpress.com/?p=262#comment-4324 Whoa, Jeff Mac. You hit the nail on the head! That is EXACTLY what my soldier did! We fell hard and fast and then he wigged and said, "I can't do this. I'm going to war. Maybe you'll still be here when I get back but I can't depend on that." And so, here I am. Patiently sending love and being here for him. And he will relax and pull me closer and then he'll get scared and try to pull away and then he'll relax and pull me closer.... Of course, I completely understand that he is going through a traumatic experience. Of course, I get tired of the yo-yo effect. I'd like to think that things will work out beautifully for us. He has never given me a reason not to think so. I guess we'll see after he comes home and hopefully "everything will be perfect" in his eyes. If not, at least I know that I gave it everything I could've and learned quite a bit about men and myself in the process. Good luck Bec. It sounds like its worth a go. Just be patient and use this time to take care of yourself. Thank you, Jeff. That manslation helped me to understand my soldier better. Whoa, Jeff Mac. You hit the nail on the head!

That is EXACTLY what my soldier did! We fell hard and fast and then he wigged and said, “I can’t do this. I’m going to war. Maybe you’ll still be here when I get back but I can’t depend on that.”

And so, here I am. Patiently sending love and being here for him. And he will relax and pull me closer and then he’ll get scared and try to pull away and then he’ll relax and pull me closer…. Of course, I completely understand that he is going through a traumatic experience. Of course, I get tired of the yo-yo effect.

I’d like to think that things will work out beautifully for us. He has never given me a reason not to think so. I guess we’ll see after he comes home and hopefully “everything will be perfect” in his eyes. If not, at least I know that I gave it everything I could’ve and learned quite a bit about men and myself in the process.

Good luck Bec. It sounds like its worth a go. Just be patient and use this time to take care of yourself.

Thank you, Jeff. That manslation helped me to understand my soldier better.

]]> By: Aurora http://manslations.com/2008/04/29/hes-stressedand-shes-out/comment-page-1/#comment-4326 Aurora Tue, 29 Apr 2008 18:36:18 +0000 http://manslations.wordpress.com/?p=262#comment-4326 Cut your losses! If he wanted to be with you, he would. 'Stress' wouldn't be stopping him. This same scenario happened to one of my best friends. She started seeing this guy. Everything was hot and heavy for about 1-2 months. And then all of a sudden, he didn't have time for a relationship. He wanted to change jobs, etc. Blah, blah, blah. So they stopped seeing each other. And about 1 month later, he got back with his ex-girlfriend. He had lots of time for her! Cut your losses!
If he wanted to be with you, he would. ‘Stress’ wouldn’t be stopping him. This same scenario happened to one of my best friends. She started seeing this guy. Everything was hot and heavy for about 1-2 months. And then all of a sudden, he didn’t have time for a relationship. He wanted to change jobs, etc. Blah, blah, blah. So they stopped seeing each other.
And about 1 month later, he got back with his ex-girlfriend. He had lots of time for her!

]]> By: Cindy http://manslations.com/2008/04/29/hes-stressedand-shes-out/comment-page-1/#comment-4325 Cindy Tue, 29 Apr 2008 17:52:28 +0000 http://manslations.wordpress.com/?p=262#comment-4325 Yes! What a man TRULY wants is UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND ACCEPTANCE!!!!! Yes! What a man TRULY wants is UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND ACCEPTANCE!!!!!

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