Comments on: The Case of the Returned Necklace – or Grief Part Deux http://manslations.com/2008/04/30/the-case-of-the-returned-necklace-or-grief-part-deux/ Advice for smart women who are tired of feeling so stupid about men. Mon, 23 Jan 2012 04:24:48 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Jeff Mac http://manslations.com/2008/04/30/the-case-of-the-returned-necklace-or-grief-part-deux/comment-page-1/#comment-4328 Jeff Mac Wed, 30 Apr 2008 18:44:02 +0000 http://manslations.wordpress.com/?p=263#comment-4328 <strong>Ingrid</strong>: Congratulations on having a motto, first of all! (And fwiw, my uncanny ability to hit the nail on the head does not extend to literal nails. That's what handy friends are for.) <strong>mar</strong>:I think you might be right about the guilt thing. And definitely about the "wondering if it can be sorted out" part. <strong>Heather</strong>: Good idea keeping the sex out of this. I'm certainly not one to recommend avoiding sex across the board, but, in this case I bet it would just muddy the waters. (For him and for you.) <strong>Sassy</strong>: Yeah, it's hard to say just what's so interesting about that dime he can't seem to get off of, isn't it? I just don't know. If I had to guess, I'd still say he's just all emotionally stirred up, and isn't sure WHAT's going on with him. But hard to say. Ingrid: Congratulations on having a motto, first of all! (And fwiw, my uncanny ability to hit the nail on the head does not extend to literal nails. That’s what handy friends are for.)

mar:I think you might be right about the guilt thing. And definitely about the “wondering if it can be sorted out” part.

Heather: Good idea keeping the sex out of this. I’m certainly not one to recommend avoiding sex across the board, but, in this case I bet it would just muddy the waters. (For him and for you.)

Sassy: Yeah, it’s hard to say just what’s so interesting about that dime he can’t seem to get off of, isn’t it? I just don’t know. If I had to guess, I’d still say he’s just all emotionally stirred up, and isn’t sure WHAT’s going on with him. But hard to say.

]]> By: Sassy http://manslations.com/2008/04/30/the-case-of-the-returned-necklace-or-grief-part-deux/comment-page-1/#comment-4329 Sassy Wed, 30 Apr 2008 16:33:00 +0000 http://manslations.wordpress.com/?p=263#comment-4329 Glad you are hanging in there. One question I might ask: is he simply emotionally unavailable or a commitment-phobe? He wants something (besides the sex if he's still calling), but can't get off the dime. Good luck! Glad you are hanging in there. One question I might ask: is he simply emotionally unavailable or a commitment-phobe? He wants something (besides the sex if he’s still calling), but can’t get off the dime.

Good luck!

]]> By: Heather http://manslations.com/2008/04/30/the-case-of-the-returned-necklace-or-grief-part-deux/comment-page-1/#comment-4331 Heather Wed, 30 Apr 2008 14:31:46 +0000 http://manslations.wordpress.com/?p=263#comment-4331 I can say with all honesty that the necklace was left on accident. But have in the past certainly left something behind to...ahem...follow up re: it. Anyway, we are talking now and have seen each other once. We talk on the phone weekly for up to three hours at a time(I am now referring to him as my "phone pal"). He is still making comments about us getting together but has yet to follow through. I am not waiting around for him, he knows this, and have had to tell him (because he asked) that sex right now was not an option for us. Figured the long phone calls, or the phone calls in general would stop but they haven't. I guess he either has feelings for me or just considers me a good friend. I am living my life and not waiting around but there is a huge part of me that hopes eventually he can pick himself up enough (if that's truly the issue) and start following through. Thanks Everyone!!!! Thanks Again Jeff!!! I can say with all honesty that the necklace was left on accident. But have in the past certainly left something behind to…ahem…follow up re: it.

Anyway, we are talking now and have seen each other once. We talk on the phone weekly for up to three hours at a time(I am now referring to him as my “phone pal”). He is still making comments about us getting together but has yet to follow through.

I am not waiting around for him, he knows this, and have had to tell him (because he asked) that sex right now was not an option for us. Figured the long phone calls, or the phone calls in general would stop but they haven’t.

I guess he either has feelings for me or just considers me a good friend.

I am living my life and not waiting around but there is a huge part of me that hopes eventually he can pick himself up enough (if that’s truly the issue) and start following through.

Thanks Everyone!!!!

Thanks Again Jeff!!!

]]> By: mar http://manslations.com/2008/04/30/the-case-of-the-returned-necklace-or-grief-part-deux/comment-page-1/#comment-4330 mar Wed, 30 Apr 2008 12:47:13 +0000 http://manslations.wordpress.com/?p=263#comment-4330 PS I reckon, by the way, that he was feeling a bit guilty, but also truly missing her, and may be wondering whether it can be sorted out. PS I reckon, by the way, that he was feeling a bit guilty, but also truly missing her, and may be wondering whether it can be sorted out.

]]> By: mar http://manslations.com/2008/04/30/the-case-of-the-returned-necklace-or-grief-part-deux/comment-page-1/#comment-4332 mar Wed, 30 Apr 2008 12:40:50 +0000 http://manslations.wordpress.com/?p=263#comment-4332 Hi Yeah, I think that Heather should stick to her words. He can go on as long as he wants about him being confused, about him being liking her, about him not being ready to a relationship. Never mind, that's the problem: he's not ready for a relationship, and that's why it can't be until he is. If I was Heather I would stick to that. The next move is his problem, as Ingrid points out. Otherwise, he's got a way to get out from Heather whatever he wants without ever have to be accountable for it, as Jeff points out. This looks to me a person in much turmoil and confusion, which is perhaps understandable. Heather might want to stay friends with him, and that might be very appreciated, but there should be no misunderstanding about that. Best Heather. Mar Hi

Yeah, I think that Heather should stick to her words. He can go on as long as he wants about him being confused, about him being liking her, about him not being ready to a relationship. Never mind, that’s the problem: he’s not ready for a relationship, and that’s why it can’t be until he is. If I was Heather I would stick to that. The next move is his problem, as Ingrid points out. Otherwise, he’s got a way to get out from Heather whatever he wants without ever have to be accountable for it, as Jeff points out.

This looks to me a person in much turmoil and confusion, which is perhaps understandable. Heather might want to stay friends with him, and that might be very appreciated, but there should be no misunderstanding about that.

Best Heather.

Mar

]]> By: Ingrid http://manslations.com/2008/04/30/the-case-of-the-returned-necklace-or-grief-part-deux/comment-page-1/#comment-4333 Ingrid Wed, 30 Apr 2008 12:10:43 +0000 http://manslations.wordpress.com/?p=263#comment-4333 Hi Heather: As usual Jeff hit the nail on the head. Heather doesn't have a next move - but IMHO the confused boyfriend does. My advice is just sit back and observe what he does next. You've told him clearly that you are ready for something real which is great. My motto is never settle for less than you deserve. Good luck with this Heather. Hi Heather:

As usual Jeff hit the nail on the head. Heather doesn’t have a next move – but IMHO the confused boyfriend does.

My advice is just sit back and observe what he does next. You’ve told him clearly that you are ready for something real which is great. My motto is never settle for less than you deserve.

Good luck with this Heather.

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