Fortunately for me, I don’t care about office gossip. Unfortunately, I fell for his garbage..he was VERY convincing. We were involved for about a year.

Toward the end, I caught on quick, he was trying to make it appear as if I were stalking him, chasing him etc. He was careless, I believe he wanted people to know. Reality set in when too many people caught on, he back peddled and turned on me. Not a good situation for me, especially from someone who I trusted, considered a friend and had the balls to tell me he loved me! So I caught him in several lies, told him to stop the drama, stop lying and stop playing games. I saved his text messages and a few voice mails. I have tolerated what many would consider sexual harassment. I would never initiate anything against him however I do fear he could easily turn things on me, he is very manipulative.

Oh, he is my bosses boss. Thankfully lives in PA, thankfully I now only see him only a few times a year. Thankfully I caught on, I regret ever being involved with him.

And mmagnolia: You do make a fair point — the dude isn’t married to that “serious girlfriend.” However, if he doesn’t mind cheating on that girl with Bella…but she’s still his “serious girlfriend” I foresee troubles aplenty.

i think you make an interesting point…about freewill; tho i’m of the feeling that if The Talk has stated expectations of monogamy, that each party respect these~ supposed to be friends at his point in my mind.

then, some “couples” never really “talk” tho one, normally the girlfriend expects monogamy…so then i’m like SISTERHOOD!

but if there is Belgian chocolate in the equation~ me weak!

I know you fancy the guy but its going to end up in tears. For you mostly. Lets be practical. The guy works there for quite some time, has formed alliances (friends) and knows the company policies by heart by now. So if you get involved with him chances are that people are going to eventually find out. I mean what do you expect him to do have the after sex glow and keep flirting with you the morning after? No, I believe he is going to be practical as well and “keep his distance” (which is the best case scenario I can think of honestly). So imagine going for work and having him ignore you totally. Also, if you could easily find out in about a months time that he is seriously involved with this girl, I bet the rest of your co-workers know about her or even met her. Do you think he is going to jeopardise you being around when she shows up for lets say the office Christmas party or whatever other function most offices have through the year? Nope! So what is this “clever” dude going to do? Find a way to get rid of you so that his relationship and company status to be safe. He can either make your life difficult or tell people so that the company poicy will take care of you once and for all (this is what I meant that he knows the rules). And his buddies are going to support him and you will end up like the horny chick you couldnt keep her underwear on!

Why dont you try to find out if he has ever done the same to some other girl? I bet he did.

Now, if you dont believe me that this is going to end up in tears, I got two examples for you. My friend started working for a firm and fancied the company plumber who had a girlfriend. The kept flirting and flirting and evntually the company found out (after sex). They didnt get rid of her, but there has been constant gossip to the point that they make crude jokes everytime a new guy comes (eg she is going to do him too, we better watch our boyfriends etc).

I on the other hand almost made the same mistake with a co-worker (not a boss) who mind you didnt have a girlfriend and was flirting with me for 6 months before we went out. There was no sex involved because I found out what an ass he was on our first date BUT everybody knew about the date!!! In fact, they treated him as some kind of “hero” at work for days after. So it didnt really matter that nothing happened. To them it did!

I hope you will make the right decision for YOU.

All the best

Friends, All! Perhaps I am confused again! for holding Light on TWO voting-age adults but:
[1] Neither one is married; no marital vows taken 2B broken;
[2] No romantic vows taken 2B broken. Simple fact that Mr. Boss plays palpable, quantifiable footsie is a Big Block on reality of “serious girlfriend” stuff. A Boyfriend does as A Boyfriend IS…which This *He* acts as NOT!
[3] Ms. Bella gives NO word that she’s interested in romantic relations, and that seems a ditto for her-so2speak ‘Boss’.

Anywa….how does One ‘TAKE’ another’s ‘One’? Free Will is a multi-faceted Treasure! Bad acts tend to be one-dimensional and Easy. If BOTH are honest individually & in tandem, any problem solved, so—Happy Truth!

As they say in corporate America, Bella: At the end of the day, this merger may seem good for short-term earnings, but you need to think long-term about the bottom line — as in YOUR butt and/or his could be on the line! And if you don’t believe me, this happened several years ago at a place I worked, and let’s just say both individuals had to leave under unhappy circumstances. (No, it wasn’t me either!)

Find. New. Man.

“Because to other underlings it appears to BE THE ONLY WAY to advance or to get favorable…”

The companies are just trying to protect themselves. For the most part, they really wouldn’t care.

But one too many trips to Sexual Harassment Legal Hell make everybody nervous about underlings dating bosses.

Why sexual harassment? Because to other underlings it appears the to advance or get favorable working conditions is to sleep with the boss. To the underling who actually may be sleeping with the boss there may be a perception that she had to do it or lose her job.

Nobody’s gonna send PIs to your house. But if others find out about it they can make these claims in court and the company has to defend itself at that point. Everyone here is suggesting she avoid getting everybody in these murky waters.

I am surprised to read about the dating policy of corporate America though…..surely who people choose to date is personal and private human right and anyone trying to enforce otherwise..through legislation or policy is being discriminatory.

The only exception to this is the Doctor/patient relationship..and even then…here ( my country) you have to wait one month after the last consultation before seeing each other on a non professional basis.

How do these companies enforce these rules…fire you..because they saw you in a public place together outside work hours…or do they go to the trouble of taking the “offenders” to court ….or break into your home to take photographic evidence?

Please tell me it isnt true….! If it is..I almost wish I lived there to take on this ridiculous policy through the court system..and change it for everyone.

Sian