manslations

Very quick question from someone called Tayna. Could be a typo, could be an interesting name, who knows? That’s what makes this job so interesting. That, and the fact that I do it for free. (What’s up with that, anyway?) Her question’s so quick, well, I don’t know how to summarize it. So how’s about you read it, and we’ll discuss, ok? Great.

By reading some of the other responses,  it appears that men want women who act stupid, never ask for what they want.  Forget about any needs they may have, and wait for the man to make all the moves and call all the shots.  Otherwise, they don’t feel like men?

Dear Tayna,

No.

Sincerely,

Jeff Mac

P.S. Ok, I’ll go into a little more detail. Let’s take your misconceptions about the “other responses” one by one. I’m not sure if you mean MY other responses on the site, or what. But either way, I do NOT believe the stuff you’re suggesting there. Here’s what I mean:

…MEN WANT WOMEN WHO ACT STUPID

Well, now that I think of it, hey, I’m sure that there are plenty of men who want women to act stupid. Just like there are women who want men to act obnoxious. Of course there are, or else how could all of these married obnoxious dudes and married stupid-acting women exist out there? Oh, they’re out there, people. I seen ‘em.

But capital M- Men don’t want ANYthing. Not any one thing. The point isn’t to “act” at all. The idea that you should act any one way is, I find, dumb for at least 2 reasons.

1. You’re not Meryl Streep. You’re likely not fooling anyone with your “acting.” And,
2. If somehow you DID fool him, either he’s a big dummy, or you are for settling for some dude who wants you to act stupid. Either way, you know, it’s bad.

…NEVER ASK FOR WHAT THEY WANT…

This is out and out not true. Men are DYING for women who ASK for what they want. And a ride on a unicorn as well, if one is available. Most of the women I know who aren’t getting what they want are in fact NOT asking for what they want. Oh, they’re wanting it. But they’re not asking. Unless you’re dating someone who can read minds (and no, you are not.)

As Liz, my lady fair, is fond of saying, “Women need to understand that if you ask for something, the result isn’t diminished because you had to ask.” Love that girl.

Believe me, if you can actually ASK for what you want, you are FAR more likely to get it from a dude.

…FORGET ABOUT ANY NEEDS THEY MAY HAVE…

No, men don’t want women who do this. Again, most decent guys would LOVE to know what their woman’s needs are. Again, if we don’t know about it, we can’t do anything about it.

Again though, this is one you have to TELL, not just NEED. Because I’ll tell you this — most men I know emphatically do NOT want to be held responsible for fulfilling needs that we don’t even know you have. In fact, I’d hope that every self-respecting person would find that to be an obnoxious arrangement.

…WAIT FOR THE MAN TO MAKE ALL THE MOVES AND CALL ALL THE SHOTS OR ELSE THEY DON’T FEEL LIKE MEN…

I certainly don’t counsel anyone to do this, I can tell you that much. I think this is dated advice. I’m sure that back in the day when gentlemen wore hats there was a stigma attached to letting a woman make any moves or call any shots, lest they lose credibility in view of the customers at their Edsel franchise. But now? Again, most men I know are only too aware of how little we understand about you folks. Any clues (a la making a move or calling a shot) would be greatly appreciated, thanks.

VERDICT: I’M WITH YOU, TAYNA

Obviously, you seem to be annoyed with all of the olde-tyme stereotypes that you spoke about in your request. Me too. I think it’s nonsense to think that a dude wants some little china doll who has no needs, never asks for what she wants, never makes any moves, and just sits there and looks purty.

I’m sure there are some guys out there who want that, but the point is that YOUR guy doesn’t. I know that because you’re YOU. And those things, if I’m reading you right, are NOT. Ergo, your dude will want you. Please, please never get the impression that you have to do this crap to get a dude. Because…well, what? Then you’ll have tricked some moron — a moron who wants all of THAT — into being with you?

Uh…huzzah?

Good luck, Tayna. Forget all that crap and do your own thing. It’s the only bait that will work on the right guy for you.

What do you think ladies? Do you have to act stupid around men? Or is that question too “smart” for you, since you’re, you know, only girls and all?