manslations

KC has a fun one today. Can her new man — her own personal Sunshine Band, if you will — really be as nice as he seems? And how can you tell if someone is faking it when they seem to like you? I can’t relate to that last one — I can barely fake interest in people I DO like, let alone the ones I don’t. Ohhh, but I know they’re out there. Let’s see if we can lay down some ground rules on how to tell who’s who.

Hey Jeff… me again…  Quick question – and I’ll try to keep this short.

How do you know when someone is too good to be true?  (Wow – have I really become this cynical?)  Okay – met this guy online… and he’s FABULOUS!  We’ve only been on 4 dates in two weeks but we talk every day for a few hours and I feel like we’re getting fairly close….  So far he has treated me like gold.  Wining and dining me and behaving like a true gentleman.  He’s also super cute and quite a charmer.  So… how can you tell if someone is trying to “con” you or if they really like you?  hahahahha

Do nice/cute/sweet guys really exist?  ;P

KC

Dear KC,

To quote my favorite Woody Allen movie (Love and Death) “Well, there aren’t too many of us around but it can be done.”

But seriously, folks.

Sounds to me like you might be just a WEEEEEE bit paranoid here. Not that sneaky guys don’t exist. Obviously they do.  But you’re basically saying, “I have no evidence to suggest he’s a douche — should I be worried?”

Answer: Sure, why not? Hey, it’s your life, right? If you want to worry about that sort of thing, it’s no skin off my nose.

Real, Non-Moronic Answer: If there were zero guys who were good at conning women into liking them, this question wouldn’t arise, right? Some of the con men really are that good. So, what are some of the ways to tell?

SIGNS HE MIGHT BE TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE

• EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM IS FLATTERING: This is the guy who drives a hybrid to save the environment, volunteers at a soup kitchen, donates to charity, and helps the campaign of your political party. And he friggin’ TELLS you about it in the first 10 minutes of meeting you. And he makes it sound like he’s a little embarrassed to be telling you. You know, cuz he’s modest. Total douche alert there.
• EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU IS FLATTERING: I’m not saying any guy is going to say something overtly insulting about you early in the relationship. (Well, not someone who ever hopes to have sex with you, anyway.) I’m just saying, if a guy is just falling all over himself telling you how funny, how smart, how pretty, how perfect you are, it’s the same thing as only letting slip really flattering stuff about himself. He’s trying to create this whirlwind of confused optimism in you. The man is gunning for your nether regions. If a guy likes you, why sugarcoat it?
• WHAT’S THE HURRY?: If you feel rushed, like he’s trying to catch you up in something romantic, exciting, and likely sexual…well, he probably IS doing that. And if it feels like, “No, no, no time to think, no time to do anything but….ro-MANCE!” Well, he’s trying to get a hump in under the wire before you figure out that he’s not really all that interested/ing. If a guy really likes you, he expects to spend now AND later with you. Not just now-now-now.
• TRUST YOUR GUT: If you’re genuinely feeling your spider senses tingling, telling you, “This man is so full of dung, it hath made his blue eyes brown,” don’t ignore that. That’s how they getcha. They play on the fact that of course you WANT him to be the real deal.

And lastly:

• DON’T FEEL BAD IF YOU GET TAKEN ONCE IN A WHILE: Again, if it were possible to say exactly how to defeat a con, there would be no con men. Or women. Conpersons, I’m saying. Con-Americans. Whatever they’re called, there’s a reason they get away with it. They’re GOOD at it. Their job is to ferret out what you want, and to give you a facsimile thereof. Until you hump. And then peeeyaaarrrroooo! (That’s the sound that the RoadRunner makes when it takes off at high speeds. Look it up, people.)

Honestly, KC, it doesn’t sound like you’re REALLY sweating this guy. But who knows? You didn’t write to me for nothin’. Just keep your eyes peeled, have fun, and if it turns out he fooled you, well, at least you got wined and dined, right?

Oh, ladieeees? How do you spot a con person? What’s the biggest tell?