Comments on: Has He Washed His Hands Of Her?

By: Mar

Mar — Mon, 18 May 2009 18:09:46 +0000

Dear Karen,
Any time anyone tells you they don’t know what they want when you’ve asked them such an important question, this means they don’t care enough for you to make it work, but he’s leaving his options open. Why? Because he knows he has a child with you and he’s liable for child support. Because maybe he’s investigating what it’s like to be single again. Because he’s not good enough for you and your child. You are having separation anxiety, big time. Get to a caring therapist. You have a child that needs you badly. You have lived with this guy for five years. In some states, that may make you eligible for financial support as a common law wife, not to mention that you carried and birthed his child and will now raise that child. You and the child need help, big time. Get your self to the court house and file for full legal and physical custody of your child with child support from him at the very least so that he can’t take your child away from you legally and raise him or her with somebody else in your place, then see how much he “cares”, but don’t believe a word he says when he gets the bill. You need to tell a judge what he said to you. You need to stabilize your position physically and financially, then see if he comes crawling to you saying he wants you and his child back in his life.

I would always draw a line of two years on anyone regardless of extenuating circumstances as to why he didn’t marry you within that time limit. You left, so the situation couldn’t have been that good. Remember, your feelings for him are chemical, so treat this as an addiction you have to cure, get help and take care of yourself so you can raise that beautiful child to grow up and be strong. The alternative is that your child will grow up with you and your other as a roll model. Do you really want that?

Take care. This too will pass and you will be ok.

By: Del

Del — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 15:18:29 +0000

Hi karen,

Hope all is better now. If not, guys you mentioned karen never spoke on why she left. I think she did say something to the nature of being home alone all the time and needing to be around her family. I think when your companion doesn’t take time for you and put all his time towards work, that could cause major issues in a relationship. Because in the end, they may have been more like roommates rather than a family.

Now the other thing I’d like to mention is that maybe he was already involved with someone else before she left. Maybe he wasn’t just spending all his time at work, but infact with another person other than his family.

Just a thought.

By: mmagnolia

mmagnolia — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 04:15:27 +0000

Dear Karen,
There’s a reddish flag here on account of Your Toddler who needs & deserves secure peace between His grownups!

Ideally, U2 already worked *IT* out to Your Son’s benefit, at minimum. Seems that U2 barely had a commitment, despite the “five year relationship” PLUS “3 year old son”! Sad but true, Your walk-away shines light on that defect. The fact that a 5-year routine of hormones [yes, Ms. Karen, hormones!] failed to solidify being 2gether kinda confirms Mr.Dad’s hesitating to reunite. ?Which of U first drifted, avoided making stronger commitment [only, food4thought]?

Fastest solution could be 4U to consider what U would need from HIM if the situation was turned around. How and what would U feel? Would UB nervous that a walk-away would be repeated again, and again? IDee Your feelings–which probably would match His.

On the brighter side, He did get out there and support the family. Did He know U felt isolated; any conversation on that?
Walk a minute in His keds, tell Him so.

Try to do *Right* re-YourToddler, and Best Blessings will surely find U2!

By: Selena

Selena — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 12:07:51 +0000

I suppose you could try setting a time limit on his “I don’t know”. Tell him you want to make a fresh start and it’s not fair to hang in limbo indefinetly. Let him pick another month or two to figure out what he wants and that’s it.

Really though, the wisdom of getting back together depends on why you split in the first place. Have you/would you be able to work those issues out so they are no longer issues? Or would you just be moving back in to pick up where you left off? I can see him not being keen to have you back if it would just be the same ole’ shtuff all over again.

And after 2 months of separation, how do you know he hasn’t become involved with someone else? That might be the reason he is stalling you…he’s waiting to see where a new relationship is going.

It’s probably been a month or so since you wrote Jeff, what has transpired since then?