Comments on: Insecure Man, Party of One

By: amy

amy — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 19:04:23 +0000

I can so relate to this post. I went on a few dates with a guy who lives across the country. He keeps in touch regularly through Instant mssg but always opens with stuff like, “how much do u miss me?”. “Have you ever had a lover as good as me?” Or “how was ur night with me physically on a 1-10 scale?”. I never give direct responses and I can’t tell if he’s joking or using me for validation. He came across as so confident b4 and I fell for it. It is so disappointing. Should I tell him he is coming across as insecure? Or will that embarrass him. He is coming back to visit, but of course won’t say it’s to see me.

By: Selena

Selena — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 03:42:42 +0000

Exhausting is the precise word. You might likely come to dislike this fellow intensely after spending several months with him. Even as a friend.

Therapy could possibly be of some help, but based on what you wrote, he is not only insecure, but immature as well. Asking those kind of personal sex related questions after sex and DURING??? is rude and just plain dumb.

I’d be done with him just based on the dumbness.

By: mmagnolia

mmagnolia — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 04:24:44 +0000

Dear Someone,
Really sad, that the beginning of the end—stretching back2 HS!–was so wicked! Can’t relate personally, but can imagine.
Wondering what His “insecure” history was during the HS/College days U2 shared. 2Bad the gossip on Him was a blank B4 this “stint”.

How’s about some *talk, ask to find out whatever*; WHY-WHY, this whiplash stuff? I think U deserve 2know—regardless whether He does step up & answers! FIRST even if ONLY because of Your sadness on situation.

‘Friendship’ post-sex isn’t on Your menu, but maybe an exception, once. Seems there’s still tender feelings for the Guy. He’s like a thead in YrLife, so why not help Him [& self] to untangle?

Peace, love & happiness Rpossible 4U re-this *ship*, depending on action re-Him. You have control of U. BTW: Why [is that His norm], an interest 2[continue] being friends. Is He a serial ‘stinter’.

If He doesn’t want the adventure, cheers2Him then– Put an egg in Your Pump & Beat it; Bon Voyage!

By: LA Lady

LA Lady — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 00:37:19 +0000

Wow, I have dated guys with pieces of these insecurities but never a guy with all of them in one package. I agree must be exhausting.
The only thing I can add is that he must be quite immature, because I have met men that had to overcome shortcomings and learned with age, and wisdom, to just deal with them. Made life much more fun and interesting for both of us when they realized that maybe they could never measure up in a certain area, but they compensated in a healthy way in other areas.
I would write this one off and walk away. Any man that needs that much intimate history in the middle of a romantic moment is telling you volumes about where his head is at, and personally I wouldn’t want to “shrink it”.