Comments on: Why Does She Keep Attracting these AlreadyHusbands

By: Miss Curious

Miss Curious — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 07:26:23 +0000

My son’s father. LOL. They are predators, and it is true – they go for the easy marks. I got rid of mine by ignoring him and moving out of the country. Lots of therapy. And involving the police. It scares them. Predators HATE dealing with the law. But you have to be careful that they are not violent predators.
I was guilty of not being inquisitive enough and living in my own world instead of reality. I didn’t want to question him – I wanted to believe he cared cuz the other option hurt too much. GL

By: Ms.X

Ms.X — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 22:51:24 +0000

Great Manslation Jeff ! As usual, brilliant !

“A conman is not looking for a challenge. He’s looking for an easy mark. Do not be one.”

Haha .. agree with you on the first part ! Except that, tons of books that tell women to be “challenge”, to let men “chase” etc … did you mean that ??? (oh, no ! I dont think you mean that, after reading your manslations … but I’m wondering what the “challenge” in this context means ? )
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“You deserve someone who will be your love, not have some other woman on the back burner he can bring forward when he feels like it and switch the two of you out in accordance to his needs at the time.”

Amen to what you said, Shelby ! Loved the way you put it !

By: Shelby

Shelby — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 23:11:46 +0000

These married guys remind me of the type who get caught with a solicitation charge and beg on their knees to not have their name listed on a report or in the paper. Or the kind who my friend used to dance for in the strip clubs. “Boo hoo, woe is me…I’m in such a bad marriage so it’s not my fault. But don’t let my wife find out, okay?” If you look hard enough, the flags will be there. Not that I haven’t been there, myself. I fall into the “fixer” category, too. Jeff is right, RESPECT and knowing what you want and what’s okay to want is important. I’ve found that usually what you want and what you need are often two totally different things. He’s also right about the douchebags being able to somehow sniff out the target. They know what to say, what to omit and how to convince you that the sky is pink. And the problem is that they’re GOOD. Very GOOD AT IT. And it seems like for every nice man, there is one woman and for every jerk, there are 5 women to take advantage of. Sometimes it seems that the jerks out number us. But rest assured that they do not. There is a very nice man waiting out there for you whom WILL NOT take advantage or lie to you. There is usually a pattern with them regarding their (jerks’) behavior, too. And because the fixer personality is sensitive, you WANT to believe them. You want to help and fix them. Just remember that you want and deserve a productive, not counter-productive relationship. And that the attached men or liars will be counter-productive for you, emotionally in the long run. You deserve someone who will be your love, not have some other woman on the back burner he can bring forward when he feels like it and switch the two of you out in accordance to his needs at the time.

By: cindy

cindy — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 12:13:03 +0000

Wow – can I relate to this one! I loved Jeff’s “Emperor of the Land of Staying In the Wrong Thing for Waaaaay Too Long”. I need to submit my application for Empress of that Land (or at least the court jester). I think many women fall into the “Fixer” category, perhaps without even being aware of it. It is our nature to nurture, which all too often translates into a need to “fix” and take care of men who don’t deserve the attention.

Del, keep on looking but keep your eyes wide open.

By: Tracey

Tracey — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 11:51:46 +0000

I’ve had married men do the same thing. Flirt, tell you how bad their marriage is and how they are going to leave. Only they don’t. I have never been involved like Dell, but wake up, recognize them for what they are. Tell them NO!!!! Look for the red flags Dell. You’ll see them….Pretty soon you will be amazed at what you are able to see that you could not before. Raise your bar and accept nothing less than what you deserve. A decent, honest real man. Good luck!!