manslations

Well, my dear manslatees, the time has arrived. Yes, that’s right. I went into my local Barnes & Noble the other day, and lo and behold, there it was — my friggin’ BOOK!

It’s in the stores now, even as we speak! And it is, of course, available on Amazon.com! My advice? Buy the crap out of this thing. Just a couple of reasons why you might want to buy it up RIGHT NOW!

1. For You: Hey, it’s the friggin’ holidays. Don’t you deserve to laugh your brains out? I think you do.
2. For Your Friends: Hey, you don’t want to be sitting at home thinking, “Oh my god that thing on page 94 is simply MARVY!” (hey, I don’t know how you talk) and have no one to tell. Plus, don’t you want all your pals to be manslated as well as YOU will be? Wait…you do, right?
3. Secret Santa/Family Gifts: This is the time of year when everybody is judging you by what you buy them. And some of the womenfolk who REALLY need Manslations, well, they might just be a little extra testy around this time of year. This will really help them out. And as a result, YOU.
4. For a Total Stranger: Ok, I know this might be a stretch, but hear me out. Who knows what these people, these “total strangers” are dealing with? For all we know, they are having a really hard time understanding men. A hard time that could be, oh, I don’t know…manslated? Only you can help. Well, you or their actual “friends.” But can we really rely upon them alone? I think not.

The point is this: YOU can now be the proud owner of my new book. At which point, well, I guess it will be your new book. But hey, no skin off of my nose, people. Buy it UP, I say!

MANSLATOR’S NOTE: Once again, my sincerest apologies to any foreigners who don’t know why the hell I’m talking about how much skin would be off my nose as a result of your purchase. It’s less gross if you don’t pay any attention to what we’re saying. I know I don’t.

Please, buy this thingie for anybody you think might like it. And if you want to be an extra special manslatee-pal-o-mine, how’s about writing a really great review of it up on Amazon.com?

Thanks, manslatees! I hope you enjoy reading the book as much as I enjoyed writing it. Actually, I hope you enjoy it even more — it’s going to be way less work reading it, I’m sure!