Comments on: Is She Expecting Too Much From a Younger Man?

By: AnneZ

AnneZ — Thu, 21 May 2009 14:07:51 +0000

I know this is an old one but it caught my attention. I almost wonder if the youth issue is in reverse here. As Shelby says, actions speak louder than words. In my lifetime, I have heard a lot of pretty words. You can have’em. Give me the guy who shows his feelings with actions. Words are cheap. This is a lesson we all should learn at some point. She can get a player who will say he loves her before the first date is through. So, having at least fifteen years of adult life and dating to learn this, I wonder why she hasn’t? Besides, if she loves HIM, why not be more accepting of HIS needs? Honestly, I’m not completely sure who is the more mature partner here.

I hope that doesn’t sound snarky but that’s the way it looks to me. If you’re in love with a guy who is all about actions, not words, consider respecting HIS emotional needs. Then remind yourself how lucky you are. Or–go get yourself a player who’s got all the words you like up both sleeves at all times.

By: Shelby

Shelby — Sat, 13 Dec 2008 00:36:53 +0000

Men show their “L” in ways other than verbalizing it. My boyfriend actually sat me down on the couch and told me the “L” word after three months of adult-dating and knowing each other for 20-something years. We’ve been together about 2 years, now. Even though he says it all the time (I think out of plain habit by now) he SHOWS me that he loves me in ways that speak volumes compared to the actual word it’s self, but I know all about the anticipation of waiting to hear those three little words for the first time in a new relationship. For example, we recently had some rough patches and he ended up talking to his ex again. But he SHOWED me that he didn’t want to take a chance of losing me (thus, showing me that he loves me) when he apologized up and down…”it was a terrible mistake…la, la, la…” and made it a point to actually point out that I have all access to phone records, etc.; (not that I check them on purpose) and he goes out of his way for me, spends quality time, offers deep conversation, homeschools my daughter, includes me in everything he does, etc. He took the time to explain why he’d called her and what was going through his mind at the time and that he didn’t want to take the chance of losing me showed me that he cares and does love me. If your boyfriend is showing you by his behavior that he loves you, down the road these things will mean more to you than hearing a particular word. If your guy is young, he probably doesn’t have alot of experience in expressing love in relationships. If he’s behaving like he loves you then he probably does.

By: cindy

cindy — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 22:46:48 +0000

It took my guy a really long time and a long talk before he could say the “L” word. The talk centered around our expections, which were worlds apart. He had the idea that saying the “L word meant he then had to move on to the next step – living together, married, whatever. I had to explain that I had no need beyond knowing how he felt about me.

Good luck with this Allice.

By: T

Fri, 12 Dec 2008 19:49:27 +0000

My ex never heard the “l” word in his house as a child. It took him a while but he eventually came around. Now he says it to our kids all the time. And he had no problem saying it to me when we were married. It must have rubbed off because his mom still calls me and says it to me now. No one else in the family… just her ex-daughter-in-law.

I’m just sayin’ that some people are raised differently. I agree with Jeff. Its about you and what you will accept. But I think you should at least let him know how you feel.

“bucket of owls”…. I like that Jeff. I may add that to my repertoire of cliches now.