Comments on: When He “Checks In” after a Booty Embargo

By: strawhat

strawhat — Thu, 07 May 2009 22:57:36 +0000

what is it with men they will hang around just for sex? (i hate the word booty,lets call a spade a spade)
it’s so unfair to all involved because it’s a bloody great time waster and has no emotion attached to it,i’d rather watch a good documentary or andre rieu then have someone come over just for sex what a put down,i’m just here to use you girl put that in your pipe and smoke it, great

By: Selena

Selena — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 03:42:02 +0000

I like the idea of asking him straight out, “What’s up?” if calls.

Rather puts him on the spot if all he wants is a booty call. If he wants more than that? Gives him an opportunity to say so.

And if the sniffing around is annoying, simply don’t answer/respond to any calls or messages. Easy.

By: Smokey

Smokey — Sat, 10 Jan 2009 15:45:22 +0000

Kat is right. We need to be more protective and know what we want before we begin this cycle of passion and pain.

By: Kat Wilder

Kat Wilder — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 06:00:01 +0000

moody.bitch asks some good questions — how to separate the “booty callers” from the “I want to get to know you better” guys. The occasional check-ins could be from someone who is shy about coming straight out and asking for a date. Or, he might see her as a friend. Or just booty.

I’m a big believer is being upfront and direct (in a nice way). But before that happens, Tam needs to understand what she really wants from him, anyway. Friendship? A relationship? Or, if the calls bug her, should she just tell him to go away?

The next time he calls, why not ask him what’s going on, and lay it out for him: “Bob, I enjoy our time together but I’m not sure what you’re looking for.” And then listen carefully to what he says … and then watch what he does. Eventually, the truth will be revealed. Good luck!

By: The Seductress Within

The Seductress Within — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 18:59:09 +0000

Of course he just wants more booty!

But if you really want to find out if he wants more than that, see him but DON’T have sex. For a good while.
See how long he sticks around.

By: Denise

Denise — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 16:53:02 +0000

I fell for it also. This one tried to soften me up with how he now had “deep feelings” for me that he wanted to explore. Turns out, he only wanted to explore them on my couch. He fussed every time I suggested actually doing something–he’s tired and wants to stay in, he’d rather watch a movie at home, he doesn’t know what’s going for that day. When I pressed him, he even told me he’s through with “courting.” why do we fall for it?

By: Katrin

Katrin — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 15:39:34 +0000

I get the check-in constantly. Too often I fall for it and think he likes me…nope. He wants my cooc..I mean couch.

By: moody.bitch

moody.bitch — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 15:11:28 +0000

Hmmm, I dunno. I mean, the odds probably ARE in favor of him just sniffing around, but until he actually puts a paw up on the couch and tries to climb up on it, we don’t really know what’s going in his furry little head.

I’ve had guys put up a fight when I declared that they were treating me like just a booty call, but the amount of fight they put up didn’t mean that there was more to the relationship after all than I thought. It just meant they didn’t want to lose the booty! Some men will say whatever they think a woman wants to hear just to keep the booty comin’, so you can’t even rely on a protest as proof of anything either. Sigh.

So, how do we separate the men who only miss the booty from those who might actually miss the other stuff that went along with the booty? What kinds of things is this guy likely to do to show Tam that he really likes her as opposed to just wanting to slink back up on her couch again?