Good Manslations News, PLUS You Can Win a Signed Copy of Manslations! FREE!
Well, well, well. Lookee here. What we got ra’tcheere is yet another nation on this Earth preparing itself for the almighty power of Manslation. Drumroll, please?
RUSSIA
Er…what?
Yes, that’s right. Manslations will soon be published in the land of…oh, I don’t know…Borscht? Beets of all shapes and sizes? Friggin’ freezing cold? Who knows what they’ve got over there right now, but pretty soon, they’re gonna have ME.
And so, in an oddly unrelated celebration, I’m going to be giving away SIGNED COPIES of this very book! Manslations: Decoding the Secret Language of Men.
It’s a fiiiiine looking piece of tree-meat, ain’t it? And it might could be yours, free! Awwww yeah. Free stuff, y’all.
Ok, I’m going to stop talking like a furniture salesman from Abilene now. I promise.
CONTEST RULES
All you have to do to qualify to win a free copy of Manslations (with either the American cover OR the racier, sexier Australian cover — your choice!) is to leave a comment on this post with your answer to one of the following questions. Either:
- Give me your title for Manslations in Russia. I’m thinking it’s going to be something like, “Man Who Will Be Speaking Like Woman,” or something.
- Answer this manslations request I received from a reader name Mares : not necessarily a manslation…i just want some good one liners using “daddy” during sex….my man doesn’t like it, but i know someone else’s that does…..
Since I’m in the same boat as Mares’s man, and want nothing to do with the word “Daddy” whilst in the sack, I’ll leave it up to you ladies.
Feel free to give a fake name if you’re bashful — just remember to use your real email address so I can make sure to send the book to the real YOU. (Don’t worry, the email address won’t be visible to anyone but me.)
I will send one signed copy of Manslations to my favorite entries for each question. Enter as often as you like. I claim no partiality. I’m basically going to see which ones either a.) are really helpful or more likely b.) get Liz and I to crack up. I have NO doubt that you lunatics will come up with some great stuff. I’ll announce the winners next week!
Tell your friends. Tell your enemies. Tell women who NEED this book, stat, before all those Russian ladies get their hands on it and we end up with a new Cold War-style Manslations gap.
Do your worst, Manslatees. Do your worst.
Posted: March 13th, 2009 under Reader Requests.
Comments
Comment from Jessica
Time March 14, 2009 at 1:15 am
How about “Commune-ication”?
Comment from monika
Time March 14, 2009 at 7:56 am
“I Man! You Woman. Read This….Now!”
I’m sure the women will run for that book. lol
The daddy comments during sex? Somehow, I think if someone needs to ask one liners to use during sex, then maybe the woman is not as comfortable using the “daddy” stuff. ” (personally the last thing i ever want to think about while I am having fun is my folks, because then that would lead to thinking about THEM having fun…which still kinda creeps me out even at this age)
Comment from Janet
Time March 14, 2009 at 10:39 am
Hi Jeff, I already have your book and would give to my friend if you send me another one:)
I am from Russia and think that the title “Translating this nonsense men call communication” will work.
Janet
Comment from Lu
Time March 15, 2009 at 1:51 pm
How about
“What it’s all about?
Clue to understanding men”
The adequate Russian translation is available on request
Lu
Comment from indian_girl
Time March 15, 2009 at 3:42 pm
” Man who “gets” women ! ”
( How to talk so russian men can “get” and translate female language with russian “manslations” ! )
I bet all women would be running for such a man & the book which helps them ! 
No comments please on those Daddy liners ! ( Rolling eyes ! ) I too am in the same boat as Maree’s man and Liz’s man ! 
Comment from tasteless
Time March 15, 2009 at 9:03 pm
Oh, daddy, harder,harder … mommy’s gonna be home soon
jks. sorry if i offend anyone, i’m just kidding
Comment from mmagnolia
Time March 15, 2009 at 9:58 pm
Dear tasteless–so, U name!
Your pun IS a chuckle, strictly in non-criminal, non-abusive 2anyone Way. Sharpness reigns!
Pingback from manslations » Did He Just Make a Move, Or Was His Leg Just Tired…Seriously.
Time March 16, 2009 at 6:31 am
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Comment from Ali
Time March 16, 2009 at 9:40 am
Title for the book… “How not to be man-fused” (Man + confused)…translation not available though, not fluent in Russian.
One “Daddy” liners… I’m usually game for anything that turns them on, makes the last longer therefore making me last longer, so I see it as a win-win situation. I’ll do it if he wants it. I’m fluent in Spanish so I may play around with “papi” or “daddy” or D-A-D-D-Y {sorta like a cheerleader, better if you are in character with the outfit and all, you know just giving ideas } So, when do I get my book?
Comment from Couture911
Time March 16, 2009 at 10:21 am
I had some fun using an online translator to translate from English to Russian and then backtranslate. Here was one good result
“The conversation of the man for the woman as men uses words to receive sex”
Comment from Couture911
Time March 16, 2009 at 10:24 am
What Tasteless said was very dirty. To me, the classic “daddy” line is “Oh Daddy, I’ve been such a bad little girl, I think you’ll have to spank me”
Comment from chris
Time March 16, 2009 at 10:31 am
spank me daddy!
Comment from Valencia
Time March 16, 2009 at 2:28 pm
Russian Men…Translated Into Sense
The daddy thing is a bit weird…but here goes…
Oh daddy, give it to me!
And I like Ali’s take on it in Spanish…
Ay Papi, give me more!
Comment from Valencia
Time March 16, 2009 at 4:05 pm
BTW congrats on your CNN book review:
http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/personal/03/16/tf.what.men.really.mean/index.html?iref=mpstoryview
Comment from Selena
Time March 16, 2009 at 4:53 pm
Calling a lover “Daddy” while making love is just way too weird and icky for me. But there is an old ’60’s song one could put on the CD player that might fit “the mood”:
TIME OF THE SEASON
The Zombies
It’s the time of the season
When the love runs high
In this time give it to me easy
And let me try with pleasured hands
To take you in the sun to promised lands
To show you everyone
It’s the time of the season for loving…
What’s your name? Who’s your daddy?
Is he rich like me?
Has he taken any time
To show you what you need to live
Tell it to me slowly. Tell you why
I really want to know
It’s the time of the season for loving…
*Solo* (verse & chorus)
What’s your name? Who’s your daddy?
Is he rich like me?
Has he taken any time
To show you what you need to live
Tell it to me slowly. Tell you why
I really want to know
It’s the time of the season for loving…
Comment from Shane West
Time March 16, 2009 at 5:34 pm
Manslations: In Russia, Book Translates You!
Comment from Selena
Time March 16, 2009 at 6:03 pm
I thought of another “Daddy”/lover song from the 1980’s that’s also quite sensuous: “Father Figure” by George Michaels. You can listen to these on YOU TUBE. Can’t think of any one liners. If some guy wanted me to call him “Daddy” during sex I’d think he had a psychological problem and beat it to the door. To each their own though I suppose. Anyway, this song has a lovely melody and might fit the mood better than any “forced” lines.
Father Figure – George Michaels
That’s all I wanted
Something special, something sacred -
In your eyes
For just one moment
To be bold and naked
At your side
Sometimes I think that you’ll never
Understand me
Maybe this time is forever..
Say it can be
That’s all you wanted
Something special, someone sacred -
In your life
Just for one moment
To be warm and naked
At my side
Sometimes I think that you’ll never
Understand me
But something tells me together
We’d be happy
(Baby)
I will be your father figure
(Oh baby)
Put your tiny hand in mine
(I’d love to)
I will be your preacher teacher
(Be your daddy)
Anything you have in mind
(It would make me)
I will be your father figure
(Very happy)
I have had enough of crime
(Please let me)
I will be the one who loves you -
Until the end of time
That’s all i wanted
But sometimes love can be mistaken
For a crime
That’sail i wanted
Just to see my baby’s
Blue eyed shine
This time i think that my lover
Understands me
If we have faith in each other
Then we can be
Strong
I will be your father figure
Put your tiny hand in mine
I will be your preacher teacher
Anything you have in mind
I will be your father figure
I have had enough of crime
I will be the one who loves you
Until the end of time
If you are the desert
I’ll be the sea
If you ever hunger -
Hunger for me
Whatever you ask for
That’s what i’ll be. .
So when you remember the ones who have lied
Who said that they cared
But then laughed as you cried
Beautiful darling
Don’t think of me
Because all i ever wanted
It’s in your eyes baby, baby
And love can’t lie. No…
(greet me with the eyes of a child)
(heaven is a kiss and a smile)
Just hold on, hold on
I won’t let you go, my baby
I will be your father figure
Put your tiny hand in mine
I will be your preacher teacher
Anything you have in mind
Will be your father figure
Have had enough of crime
So I am gonna love you
Until the end of time
Will be your father
Will be your preacher
‘Ii be your daddy
Will be the one who loves you until the end of time
Comment from mmagnolia
Time March 16, 2009 at 11:17 pm
Dear Selena!
Merci, 4 “Father Figure” referral, albeit scanned w/my BabyBrowns…..evermore, oooh lalalalala LA!
Methinks…
“weird…icky” + naked can= SumYummy!
…….Bouquets o’Green!
Comment from Bashful
Time March 17, 2009 at 6:10 pm
Daddy’s girl is bad.
Want me to tell Daddy?
Does Daddy know his girl is this naughty?
Where’s Daddy now baby?
Each is independent and to be spoken repetitively with a growing (fake it if necessary) intensity. It all implies some sort of mucho standoff fantasy(?) for Daddy’s daughters affections I suppose. If you’re in the sack, Daddy lost, your man wins, and because she’s defying Daddy she’s naughty and every boy likes a naughty girl. Hmmm, warning bells are starting to ring.
All a bit wrong really. Now onto Russia…
A women’s guide to wealth… Understanding your man, because this book is cheaper than vodka.
Comment from Huh?
Time March 17, 2009 at 6:41 pm
Book Titles:
1. Manslations For Women Who Know Just Enough To Be Confused
2. Manslations: 20th Century Primal Man Survival Guide For Women.
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Time March 18, 2009 at 6:30 am
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Pingback from manslations » Why do WOMEN Have to do All the Work??
Time March 20, 2009 at 6:31 am
[...] the Truth!indian_girl on Did He Just Make a Move, Or Was His Leg Just Tired…Seriously.Lisa on Good Manslations News, PLUS You Can Win a Signed Copy of Manslations! FREE!mmagnolia on When He Says IT Isn’t [...]
Pingback from manslations » Winners of the Manslations Giveaway!
Time March 23, 2009 at 6:31 am
[...] guys, I have to tell you, I really loved all of your entries in the Manslations book giveaway contest. For any of you who haven’t, you should take a look at all the entries. Very, very fun stuff. [...]
Comment from mmagnolia
Time March 13, 2009 at 9:53 pm
Dear JM!
Excellent feather-in-turban!
Oh: How’s “Be Man for Woman”….kidding!
Perchance, U meet Messr. Nikita’s translator DearVictor–Give Greathug!
Happy Trails and Dos Vidanya!