Comments on: Defense Against Guys Who Are Not Ready http://manslations.com/2009/03/25/defense-against-guys-who-are-not-ready/ Advice for smart women who are tired of feeling so stupid about men. Mon, 23 Jan 2012 04:24:48 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: mmagnolia http://manslations.com/2009/03/25/defense-against-guys-who-are-not-ready/comment-page-1/#comment-8300 mmagnolia Thu, 22 Dec 2011 06:57:35 +0000 http://manslations.com/?p=1673#comment-8300 Dear Ms."Confused", Is yourGuy a virgin or a widower :)... You say He calls You "babe"--which gives GreatCuddle...if He equally initiates calling! Your "smartest thing" is to be indifferent! Of course, that's foolishness for Your sweetest priority of Loving & BeingLoved! SecondBest is 2ask Him directly what Uask here...actually, That's Your Real FirstBest! Please, Mlle. "C", don't live wondering! Cure for Your distrust of feelings/words is *on* You! But: Why'd a "pretty girl" who's Not-You did the WaltzThing with Him; YourChoice or His? It's wise2express whatUwant. Trust YourSelf 2handle any soreness which dares2turnip! Enjoy Bouquets o'Bessings...beyond 2012! Dear Ms.”Confused”,

Is yourGuy a virgin or a widower :) …

You say He calls You “babe”–which gives GreatCuddle…if He equally initiates calling!

Your “smartest thing” is to be indifferent!
Of course, that’s foolishness for Your sweetest priority of Loving & BeingLoved!

SecondBest is 2ask Him directly what Uask here…actually, That’s Your Real FirstBest!

Please, Mlle. “C”, don’t live wondering! Cure for Your distrust of feelings/words is *on* You!

But: Why’d a “pretty girl” who’s Not-You did the WaltzThing with Him; YourChoice or His?
It’s wise2express whatUwant. Trust YourSelf 2handle any soreness which dares2turnip!

Enjoy Bouquets o’Bessings…beyond 2012!

]]> By: Confused with a guy http://manslations.com/2009/03/25/defense-against-guys-who-are-not-ready/comment-page-1/#comment-8296 Confused with a guy Fri, 16 Dec 2011 14:22:27 +0000 http://manslations.com/?p=1673#comment-8296 Okay. Say you two don't have sex. Say you two were the best of friends before anything even happened? My best friend and I we had a thing before our friendship even became a thing and I turned him down. Then we were just best friends and he found another chick.. well his gf and him lived 5 hours away from each other. Maybe more.. but they broke up and then the following weekend I went to his place and we'd hook up, but there was no sex if you get what I mean. ;b three weeks later I asked him where we stood and he said he likes me a lot a lot a lot but he isn't quite ready. okay well that like... in like november 12th... so I been told that is not good to ask.. I guess I have to play hard to get ;b well we text everyday we haven't had a chance to hang out in a couple weeks cause he lives two towns away and we have busy lives. but it is winter break tomorrow. so we'll probably have higher chances of hanging out. (hopefully) but where i'm trying to get at is,, we've talked about sex but I am not ready to give up my virginity, especially if him and I aren't dating. I like this guy a lot, and he tells me he loves me, and he calls me babe because he knows I like it when he does. But I just wonder on the other side of the phone, does he actually love me? Who else could he be saying this to. were not dating. He went to a winter dance with a pretty girl. Uhgg. Whats the smartest thing I could do to not get myself hurt other then stop talking to him. oh and I am 18 if that make sense with the winter school dance ha ;b Okay. Say you two don’t have sex. Say you two were the best of friends before anything even happened? My best friend and I we had a thing before our friendship even became a thing and I turned him down. Then we were just best friends and he found another chick.. well his gf and him lived 5 hours away from each other. Maybe more.. but they broke up and then the following weekend I went to his place and we’d hook up, but there was no sex if you get what I mean. ;b three weeks later I asked him where we stood and he said he likes me a lot a lot a lot but he isn’t quite ready. okay well that like… in like november 12th… so I been told that is not good to ask.. I guess I have to play hard to get ;b well we text everyday we haven’t had a chance to hang out in a couple weeks cause he lives two towns away and we have busy lives. but it is winter break tomorrow. so we’ll probably have higher chances of hanging out. (hopefully) but where i’m trying to get at is,, we’ve talked about sex but I am not ready to give up my virginity, especially if him and I aren’t dating. I like this guy a lot, and he tells me he loves me, and he calls me babe because he knows I like it when he does. But I just wonder on the other side of the phone, does he actually love me? Who else could he be saying this to. were not dating. He went to a winter dance with a pretty girl. Uhgg.
Whats the smartest thing I could do to not get myself hurt other then stop talking to him.
oh and I am 18 if that make sense with the winter school dance ha ;b

]]> By: mmagnolia http://manslations.com/2009/03/25/defense-against-guys-who-are-not-ready/comment-page-1/#comment-6482 mmagnolia Mon, 06 Apr 2009 03:47:35 +0000 http://manslations.com/?p=1673#comment-6482 Dear All, Rather than "looking for a LTR", methinks t'is more efficient 2look for a *soulmate* [one word...not two and it's not an 8-letter dirty word!]. Would make weeding out "not ready" folks a simplerJoy. Sure, the not-ready today can = tonite's Heart's delight! Maybe, some impassioned *self-faith* can assist that soulmate looking. Most "discriminating" evaluations already will have2exist; rest = downhill! Usually easier 2fish salmon where sharks fear2swim, IF one wants salmon. Soooo, Happy Fishing! Dear All,

Rather than “looking for a LTR”, methinks t’is more efficient 2look for a *soulmate* [one word...not two and it's not an 8-letter dirty word!].
Would make weeding out “not ready” folks a simplerJoy. Sure, the not-ready today can = tonite’s Heart’s delight!

Maybe, some impassioned *self-faith* can assist that soulmate looking. Most “discriminating” evaluations already will have2exist; rest = downhill!

Usually easier 2fish salmon where sharks fear2swim, IF one wants salmon.
Soooo, Happy Fishing!

]]> By: LK http://manslations.com/2009/03/25/defense-against-guys-who-are-not-ready/comment-page-1/#comment-6476 LK Sun, 05 Apr 2009 13:09:37 +0000 http://manslations.com/?p=1673#comment-6476 If looking for a LTR, the sex can wait. Always. It's a good barometer, too. A guy who is really "ready" for a LTR will wait for sex. But, as JM indicates, when a guy is newly released, sometimes it's all about the sex. It's that way for women sometimes, too, incidentally. Some of us actually can differentiate sex from love! So, that being said, a few more dates under the belt before removing the belts is a good idea if you find someone you could move on with. If you aren't being discriminating, though and seeing ALL guys as potential LTR material, then you need to re-evaluate what you want in a guy. Every guy you date is definitely NOT LTR material. And for guys, not every girl dated is LTR material either. The charm of this is you get to learn from the dates (whether it be a 5 minute disaster date OR several dates landing you in bed with "the call/TM/EM" coming shortly thereafter) and incorporate what you do/do not want in your life and your LTR. If you are in fact looking for a LTR you need to be specific and picky. The dates aside from that are just learning experiences, a means of having a bit of fun (if you're lucky) and short term companionship. Treat them as such and you will not feel so dejected. My thoughts... If looking for a LTR, the sex can wait. Always. It’s a good barometer, too. A guy who is really “ready” for a LTR will wait for sex. But, as JM indicates, when a guy is newly released, sometimes it’s all about the sex. It’s that way for women sometimes, too, incidentally. Some of us actually can differentiate sex from love!

So, that being said, a few more dates under the belt before removing the belts is a good idea if you find someone you could move on with. If you aren’t being discriminating, though and seeing ALL guys as potential LTR material, then you need to re-evaluate what you want in a guy. Every guy you date is definitely NOT LTR material. And for guys, not every girl dated is LTR material either. The charm of this is you get to learn from the dates (whether it be a 5 minute disaster date OR several dates landing you in bed with “the call/TM/EM” coming shortly thereafter) and incorporate what you do/do not want in your life and your LTR.

If you are in fact looking for a LTR you need to be specific and picky. The dates aside from that are just learning experiences, a means of having a bit of fun (if you’re lucky) and short term companionship. Treat them as such and you will not feel so dejected.

My thoughts…

]]> By: mmagnolia http://manslations.com/2009/03/25/defense-against-guys-who-are-not-ready/comment-page-1/#comment-6470 mmagnolia Sun, 05 Apr 2009 03:43:45 +0000 http://manslations.com/?p=1673#comment-6470 All Dears, Absolutely agree that "hormones" rule! But, bonding hormones exist re: M+W. *Most* men seem 2choose 2differentiate sex vs. love; *Most* women seem 2choose not. Maybe that difference of choice depends on acquired [cultivated!] options, n-o-t on gender genetics. Men can + do choose to let Loving emotions rule. God bless that similarity! All Dears,

Absolutely agree that “hormones” rule! But, bonding hormones exist re: M+W.

*Most* men seem 2choose 2differentiate sex vs. love; *Most* women seem 2choose not. Maybe that difference of choice depends on acquired [cultivated!] options, n-o-t on gender genetics.

Men can + do choose to let Loving emotions rule. God bless that similarity!

]]> By: ms.X http://manslations.com/2009/03/25/defense-against-guys-who-are-not-ready/comment-page-1/#comment-6467 ms.X Sat, 04 Apr 2009 22:06:08 +0000 http://manslations.com/?p=1673#comment-6467 Jeff, great advice from a male perspective ! Somehow, most women get emotionally bonded to men after sex, cant help hormones which make them feel emotionally bonded, just with sex ! men can differentiate sex and love and women cant( hard-wiring) ! when thats the case, if you prolong sex too long, the "not ready" type might just get bored, and realize this still feels like a err, relationship and he'll leave u before hand saying he's not ready ... which saves u some heart-ache as u dont feel used atleast ! this is just a womanslation !!! Jeff, great advice from a male perspective !

Somehow, most women get emotionally bonded to men after sex, cant help hormones which make them feel emotionally bonded, just with sex !

men can differentiate sex and love and women cant( hard-wiring) !

when thats the case, if you prolong sex too long, the “not ready” type might just get bored, and realize this still feels like a err, relationship and he’ll leave u before hand saying he’s not ready … which saves u some heart-ache as u dont feel used atleast !

this is just a womanslation !!!

]]> By: mmagnolia http://manslations.com/2009/03/25/defense-against-guys-who-are-not-ready/comment-page-1/#comment-6410 mmagnolia Mon, 30 Mar 2009 03:42:35 +0000 http://manslations.com/?p=1673#comment-6410 Dear Ms. annonymous, U2 "were always happy"... but now U're *bothered* that YourGuy isn't wanting "a relationship". Leaving It alone w/o pressure is okay, but do someGood 4U! Upfrontly: Ask that He get back to you when He's in a realm for RealRelation. Perhaps, He will--and U'll be there4Him, OR....U won't....OR, He won't! However, there won't be what He feels as being-pressed... and best-of-all, U won't have heartache of being a Presser! Free will is Beauty, but options are limited when One is One-of-Two, with different desires. Eventually, Life IS like math. No doubt, 4U: SweetBeginnings! Dear Ms. annonymous,

U2 “were always happy”… but now U’re *bothered* that YourGuy isn’t wanting “a relationship”.

Leaving It alone w/o pressure is okay, but do someGood 4U!
Upfrontly: Ask that He get back to you when He’s in a realm for RealRelation.

Perhaps, He will–and U’ll be there4Him, OR….U won’t….OR, He won’t!
However, there won’t be what He feels as being-pressed… and best-of-all, U won’t have heartache of being a Presser!

Free will is Beauty, but options are limited when One is One-of-Two, with different desires. Eventually, Life IS like math.
No doubt, 4U: SweetBeginnings!

]]> By: annonymous http://manslations.com/2009/03/25/defense-against-guys-who-are-not-ready/comment-page-1/#comment-6409 annonymous Mon, 30 Mar 2009 02:04:47 +0000 http://manslations.com/?p=1673#comment-6409 I've had many opinions but I defently need more. Me & this boy have been friends for a while we ended up liking eachother so we started talking like talking to get into a relationship its been 3 months and were perfect were always happy but the only thing that bothers me is that we are not offcial and its beggining to bother me the last time I talked to him about it he told me he just wasn't ready for a relationship I left it alone but I don't know what I should do I don't wanna pressure him into being with me if he doesn't.what do I do? I’ve had many opinions but I defently need more. Me & this boy have been friends for a while we ended up liking eachother so we started talking like talking to get into a relationship its been 3 months and were perfect were always happy but the only thing that bothers me is that we are not offcial and its beggining to bother me the last time I talked to him about it he told me he just wasn’t ready for a relationship I left it alone but I don’t know what I should do I don’t wanna pressure him into being with me if he doesn’t.what do I do?

]]> By: Valencia http://manslations.com/2009/03/25/defense-against-guys-who-are-not-ready/comment-page-1/#comment-6406 Valencia Sun, 29 Mar 2009 18:56:23 +0000 http://manslations.com/?p=1673#comment-6406 I really like Judy's comment. I unforunately just learned the hard way, and definitely felt conned...but working on letting it roll off...the white light comment was awesome! Thanks Judy! I really like Judy’s comment. I unforunately just learned the hard way, and definitely felt conned…but working on letting it roll off…the white light comment was awesome! Thanks Judy!

]]> By: Heather http://manslations.com/2009/03/25/defense-against-guys-who-are-not-ready/comment-page-1/#comment-6399 Heather Sat, 28 Mar 2009 01:52:18 +0000 http://manslations.com/?p=1673#comment-6399 I've had this happen to me. Here's what I learned. If you are doing sex with someone and expect something more, then you are working in an area you have no control over. If you only have sex when you really want to, their reaction shouldn't matter; you did something you wanted to do for no other reason than it felt good and there's nothing to feel bad about. Cut yourself some slack. Relationships aren't about sex...really...they are about connections. Maybe a better way to phrase that question is, "Will you be expecting more from me if we have sex, cause I'm not really certain how I feel, except that I want to have sex with you.". Or, don't ask the question at all. It's not QPQ. If your not doing it because you want to, then there's no good reason to do it. I’ve had this happen to me. Here’s what I learned. If you are doing sex with someone and expect something more, then you are working in an area you have no control over. If you only have sex when you really want to, their reaction shouldn’t matter; you did something you wanted to do for no other reason than it felt good and there’s nothing to feel bad about. Cut yourself some slack. Relationships aren’t about sex…really…they are about connections. Maybe a better way to phrase that question is, “Will you be expecting more from me if we have sex, cause I’m not really certain how I feel, except that I want to have sex with you.”. Or, don’t ask the question at all. It’s not QPQ. If your not doing it because you want to, then there’s no good reason to do it.

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