Comments on: What Was This Overthinking Dude Thinking?

By: Lana

Lana — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 04:32:32 +0000

Tell you what – I’ve experienced something similar to this recently (as I’m sure all women have…oh yeah, men too). This dude is definitely insecure…perhaps he suffers from post traumatic nerd/fat kid syndrome? Bottom line: Jeff is right; he’s going to hop from one girl to another (whatever his MO is – hot chicks, needy chicks, etc), to get his ego stroked, and then he’ll move on when he has something else lined up (oh yes, he will always keep his options open so that he can have girls lined up…because if he’s that insecure, he needs validation frequently). He will either realize this self-destructive and hurtful behavior as he matures or he never will…which in any case, the best thing for you is to learn from it, avoid guys like him, and find happiness (with whomever or wherever that may be). Once he sees you’ve truly moved on, he may lash out (because insecure guys are defensive) but ignore it and focus on living well!

By: Melissa

Melissa — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 21:51:48 +0000

Renee,

If this guy actually punched you in the face, it may be wise to get a restraining order…too often, this (mis)behavior is a prelude to something even more serious in the future.

Evidentally, he feels entitled to ignore the fact that you want NOTHING to do with him!

I get concerned when I hear about these happennings, sp please take care, okay?

Melissa

By: Renee

Renee — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 16:55:55 +0000

I was with a guy just like this. About a year and a half ago I left him, because he got so insecure one night he decided to punch me in the face. He has more than just insecurity issues. Anyway…it takes a long time for these guys to go away.
He called me LAST WEEK and left a message on my voicemail that said this: blah blah blah, “You’re so awesome, but you suck, but you’re more awesome than you suck. I miss you, but not really, but I do, a little bit” and I’m not even kidding.
Jessica, Let Him Go! Please! for the love of all womankind. Let him Go!

By: Melissa

Melissa — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 02:07:11 +0000

We have 4 responsibilities:
1. The responsibility of our thoughts.
2. The responsibility of our emotions.
3. The responsibility of our speech.
4. The responsibility of our behavior.

This guys needs lessons in all 4 areas.

‘Nuff said.

By: LK

LK — Sun, 12 Apr 2009 11:52:29 +0000

I unfortunately landed two of these in a row – the ex husband was so insecure that he blamed me for his having to have a “friend” – and that he could be friends with whomever he chose and if I couldn’t handle it this was my problem/issue/insecurity (despite being out with his “friend” on our anniversary, V-Day, etc). After we split, I met this same guy again…but ID’d it much faster the second time. #2 still calls and emails to this day, even though he gets no response.

THUS the lesson was well learned. Have now found Mr. Wonderful…who isn’t sure he loves me yet, but treats me a million times better than any guy who proclaimed to love me in my past. And, he often says, he doesn’t want me to change – not a bit – because he likes me just the way I am. Holy Psychology 101 Batman!

There ARE great guys out there, Jessica. And the dirtbags come in to our world so we can fully appreciate Mr. Wonderful’s greatness when we find ourselves with one of these very adoring, sweet and kind men. The trick to the douchebag thing is to rid yourself of them pronto, completely, and don’t look back so you can be open-armed ready for the right guy.

By: KC

KC — Sat, 11 Apr 2009 13:00:10 +0000

Interesting. That’s what my cheating ex said too… that he did it because he was “insecure”. Weird… I guess that’s just the easy way out. To make him feel less bad by blaming it on that?? Who knows…

By: Susan

Susan — Sat, 11 Apr 2009 00:46:18 +0000

Jeffy, I’m thinking you’d want to whack this guy with that sword, if you had the chance. Well, I don’t mean “whack” whack, Sopranos-style, and you might not want to try the sword up that … part, but I loved the way you got all fired up just writing your response. Really, douches are bad for both sexes, aren’t they?!

Jessica, may the dating years ahead of you be filled with guys not in the least bit like this one. You deserve better!

By: Liz C

Liz C — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 21:53:22 +0000

OK, best quote evah!

…the guy who puts the ‘dick’ in contradiction

Doesn’t get real-er than that, my friend.

By: Jewel

Jewel — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 18:29:45 +0000

Ok so he is insecure, and he cheats because he is, and you make him do all these bad things…. then maybe you whould leave him and let him be.This is just the lamest excuse I have event herad in my life. I don’t know you but you seem like a great girl,don’t let anyone even try to convince you that some of the wrong things that you do are your fault.That is just baloney.And also always remeber that actions speak louder than words

By: T

Fri, 10 Apr 2009 13:57:16 +0000

Oh yes, yes, yes… sounds so totally familiar. Good for you for breakin’ it off. The keepin-it-broken-off part is the most difficult part of all…

Good luck.