Comments on: All She Wanted Was for Him to “Fight for her?” http://manslations.com/2009/04/15/all-she-wanted-was-for-him-to-fight-for-her/ Advice for smart women who are tired of feeling so stupid about men. Mon, 23 Jan 2012 04:24:48 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Maevey http://manslations.com/2009/04/15/all-she-wanted-was-for-him-to-fight-for-her/comment-page-1/#comment-6644 Maevey Mon, 27 Apr 2009 03:11:39 +0000 http://manslations.com/?p=1745#comment-6644 "Not to be Conan the Grammarian here, but I mean…why put those two commas in there at all…is all I’m saying." ROFL! I was so thinking it before I got to your comments Jeff. “Not to be Conan the Grammarian here, but I mean…why put those two commas in there at all…is all I’m saying.”

ROFL! I was so thinking it before I got to your comments Jeff.

]]> By: Selena http://manslations.com/2009/04/15/all-she-wanted-was-for-him-to-fight-for-her/comment-page-1/#comment-6632 Selena Fri, 24 Apr 2009 22:11:39 +0000 http://manslations.com/?p=1745#comment-6632 I agree with Tanya's point: if someone dumps you repeatedly you are going to question whether they really love you. And the corollary? If you are willing to dump someone repeatedly, how much do you love them - really? I agree with Tanya’s point: if someone dumps you repeatedly you are going to question whether they really love you.

And the corollary? If you are willing to dump someone repeatedly, how much do you love them – really?

]]> By: Tanya http://manslations.com/2009/04/15/all-she-wanted-was-for-him-to-fight-for-her/comment-page-1/#comment-6608 Tanya Thu, 23 Apr 2009 04:34:17 +0000 http://manslations.com/?p=1745#comment-6608 I once had an on-again-off-again relationship with a boy that lasted about a year. Within that year, he dumped me three times - yes, you read correctly, three times. It was my naive idea of love that made me take that boy back many times. In the first two break ups, he whined that I only fought for him for a mere five minutes, sounds familiar to your power-manipulative tactic. At the end of the day, us "dumpees" have our pride and dignity to hold on to, in addition to our sanity, or whatever is left of it. Possibly, just possibly, your man may be ariving at the idea that if you truly loved him, you would know better than to abandon him - twice, that you would love him enough to not hurt him this way... possibly one of the deepest hurts, ending the relationship. If anything, I now look back on my relationship with this boy and now have doubts that he truly cared for and loved me. Perhaps he is also going through this thought process and trying to weigh his options, either try the relationship again with someone he knows full well has the ability to hurt him, over and over, or try a relationship with someone else who has yet to hurt him. So, what do you think? Which is the better evil? I once had an on-again-off-again relationship with a boy that lasted about a year. Within that year, he dumped me three times – yes, you read correctly, three times. It was my naive idea of love that made me take that boy back many times. In the first two break ups, he whined that I only fought for him for a mere five minutes, sounds familiar to your power-manipulative tactic. At the end of the day, us “dumpees” have our pride and dignity to hold on to, in addition to our sanity, or whatever is left of it. Possibly, just possibly, your man may be ariving at the idea that if you truly loved him, you would know better than to abandon him – twice, that you would love him enough to not hurt him this way… possibly one of the deepest hurts, ending the relationship. If anything, I now look back on my relationship with this boy and now have doubts that he truly cared for and loved me. Perhaps he is also going through this thought process and trying to weigh his options, either try the relationship again with someone he knows full well has the ability to hurt him, over and over, or try a relationship with someone else who has yet to hurt him. So, what do you think? Which is the better evil?

]]> By: Hannah http://manslations.com/2009/04/15/all-she-wanted-was-for-him-to-fight-for-her/comment-page-1/#comment-6587 Hannah Tue, 21 Apr 2009 16:40:16 +0000 http://manslations.com/?p=1745#comment-6587 I just thought I'd add my two cents. I was in what sounds like a very similar situation half a year ago. I loved the guy, and I'm pretty sure he loved me, but I felt like he wasn't really listening to me or standing by me like I needed him to be. I came very close to breaking up with him a few times because of it. We argued off and on for a few months over that. The communication was the hurdle we couldn't cross. I tried to be clear and forthright, but I guess that's where the "not listening" comes in. Eventually, having thought it out (i.e. that if it hasn't changed by now, and with all the arguments about it, wasn't going to change), so I let him go. It hurt really bad, and I know his heart was broken, too. I hope you have better luck, Kate. All I can say is do your best to be open with him, and if he can't give you what you need, you need to let him go, even though it hurts. I just thought I’d add my two cents. I was in what sounds like a very similar situation half a year ago. I loved the guy, and I’m pretty sure he loved me, but I felt like he wasn’t really listening to me or standing by me like I needed him to be. I came very close to breaking up with him a few times because of it. We argued off and on for a few months over that.

The communication was the hurdle we couldn’t cross. I tried to be clear and forthright, but I guess that’s where the “not listening” comes in.

Eventually, having thought it out (i.e. that if it hasn’t changed by now, and with all the arguments about it, wasn’t going to change), so I let him go. It hurt really bad, and I know his heart was broken, too.

I hope you have better luck, Kate. All I can say is do your best to be open with him, and if he can’t give you what you need, you need to let him go, even though it hurts.

]]> By: KC http://manslations.com/2009/04/15/all-she-wanted-was-for-him-to-fight-for-her/comment-page-1/#comment-6571 KC Fri, 17 Apr 2009 00:40:33 +0000 http://manslations.com/?p=1745#comment-6571 Nay - I agree with you 100%! Nay – I agree with you 100%!

]]> By: Jewel http://manslations.com/2009/04/15/all-she-wanted-was-for-him-to-fight-for-her/comment-page-1/#comment-6570 Jewel Thu, 16 Apr 2009 19:49:21 +0000 http://manslations.com/?p=1745#comment-6570 For once I think this situation is one of the most straight forward in the books.There is no hidden meaning in his statement.I feel like for once the manslator may not be necessary.On the other hand I think you need to review your communication methods.There are better ways to send your message accross than giving him the boot because you stand the chance of losing him forever and considering that is not your intention that would be unfortunate.I find that as girsl we exoect guys to figure out things and we do one thing to imply the other and its unfair on their part.If he means alot to you and you want to keep the relationship just be honest and straight forward.It will save you alot For once I think this situation is one of the most straight forward in the books.There is no hidden meaning in his statement.I feel like for once the manslator may not be necessary.On the other hand I think you need to review your communication methods.There are better ways to send your message accross than giving him the boot because you stand the chance of losing him forever and considering that is not your intention that would be unfortunate.I find that as girsl we exoect guys to figure out things and we do one thing to imply the other and its unfair on their part.If he means alot to you and you want to keep the relationship just be honest and straight forward.It will save you alot

]]> By: Lauren http://manslations.com/2009/04/15/all-she-wanted-was-for-him-to-fight-for-her/comment-page-1/#comment-6568 Lauren Thu, 16 Apr 2009 16:45:45 +0000 http://manslations.com/?p=1745#comment-6568 True, true... Damn you, John Cusack! Why are you so lovable? True, true… Damn you, John Cusack! Why are you so lovable?

]]> By: Nay http://manslations.com/2009/04/15/all-she-wanted-was-for-him-to-fight-for-her/comment-page-1/#comment-6567 Nay Thu, 16 Apr 2009 16:12:03 +0000 http://manslations.com/?p=1745#comment-6567 Ladies, Kate may be young, but it doesn't mean her hurt feelings are any less painful...In fact, probably more so, because she hasn't had the practice in dealing with them! But I can tell you with all honesty, at 28 years old, I was still waiting for my man to 'fight for me'. And I used those exact words. What I was failing to see was that I wasn't giving him a REASON to fight for me! I wasn't pleasant to be around. I yelled at him and nagged at him when he didn't do what I thought he should. He had it in his head that he could do whatever he wanted and I would never leave him (he actually said that to me...as I was breaking up with him!) Now, I'm in a relationship with my new fella, and he's wonderful! I feel LUCKY to have him! But what's more important, HE feels lucky to have ME. It makes us BOTH work on keeping the other happy! It sounds like you're feeling neglected by your sweetheart, and in turn it's making you feel rejected. But really what it comes down to is he's just not the right guy for you. You could force it in to place, but why draw out the inevitable? He's not the man you're going to spend the rest of your life HAPPY with, so why not move on and fine the one you will? (And Lauren, you KNOW every woman is waiting for the 'Say Anything' moment to happen... ;) ) Ladies, Kate may be young, but it doesn’t mean her hurt feelings are any less painful…In fact, probably more so, because she hasn’t had the practice in dealing with them! But I can tell you with all honesty, at 28 years old, I was still waiting for my man to ‘fight for me’. And I used those exact words. What I was failing to see was that I wasn’t giving him a REASON to fight for me! I wasn’t pleasant to be around. I yelled at him and nagged at him when he didn’t do what I thought he should. He had it in his head that he could do whatever he wanted and I would never leave him (he actually said that to me…as I was breaking up with him!)
Now, I’m in a relationship with my new fella, and he’s wonderful! I feel LUCKY to have him! But what’s more important, HE feels lucky to have ME. It makes us BOTH work on keeping the other happy!
It sounds like you’re feeling neglected by your sweetheart, and in turn it’s making you feel rejected. But really what it comes down to is he’s just not the right guy for you. You could force it in to place, but why draw out the inevitable? He’s not the man you’re going to spend the rest of your life HAPPY with, so why not move on and fine the one you will?
(And Lauren, you KNOW every woman is waiting for the ‘Say Anything’ moment to happen… ;) )

]]> By: Lauren http://manslations.com/2009/04/15/all-she-wanted-was-for-him-to-fight-for-her/comment-page-1/#comment-6566 Lauren Thu, 16 Apr 2009 15:36:17 +0000 http://manslations.com/?p=1745#comment-6566 You know that old adage that goes, "If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it's meant to be." Yeah that's pretty much a load of crap. If you love someone, hang on to them! What does all this "fight for me" stuff really mean anyway? Fight some jerk for making you cry? Fight YOU until you realize you should take him back? Fight a dragon? Hang outside your house with a boom box blasting Peter Gabriel? I think it's another one of those meaningless phrases that we just accept because it's in movies and fairy tales. And Kate hon, punctuation is your friend. I was out of breath by the time I finished reading your question. You know that old adage that goes, “If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it’s meant to be.” Yeah that’s pretty much a load of crap. If you love someone, hang on to them!
What does all this “fight for me” stuff really mean anyway? Fight some jerk for making you cry? Fight YOU until you realize you should take him back? Fight a dragon? Hang outside your house with a boom box blasting Peter Gabriel? I think it’s another one of those meaningless phrases that we just accept because it’s in movies and fairy tales.
And Kate hon, punctuation is your friend. I was out of breath by the time I finished reading your question.

]]> By: Ali http://manslations.com/2009/04/15/all-she-wanted-was-for-him-to-fight-for-her/comment-page-1/#comment-6565 Ali Thu, 16 Apr 2009 14:37:39 +0000 http://manslations.com/?p=1745#comment-6565 Obviously this is someone young... and this also just the beginning of her "confusion" with men (poor thing!), nevertheless, we grown-up women also go thru this drama. Even with all the confidence in the world, men still make us doubt our self worth and therefore we feel the need for them to fight/work for us. I've been there, done that. It sucks. But then we move on and find a man that will put an effort into the relationship everyday. We might have to tell/remind them of it everyday as well. I know it sucks for us to be telling them but communication is the key and the only thing that will make any relationship work. Obviously this is someone young… and this also just the beginning of her “confusion” with men (poor thing!), nevertheless, we grown-up women also go thru this drama. Even with all the confidence in the world, men still make us doubt our self worth and therefore we feel the need for them to fight/work for us. I’ve been there, done that. It sucks. But then we move on and find a man that will put an effort into the relationship everyday. We might have to tell/remind them of it everyday as well. I know it sucks for us to be telling them but communication is the key and the only thing that will make any relationship work.

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