Comments on: Why Do Some Men Behave Like 3rd Graders?

By: Dylan

Dylan — Tue, 19 May 2009 16:06:08 +0000

I think the worst thing we ever did to the female population was to make an excuse for that type of behavior at such an early age…”Jimmy hit me!” “Well, that’s just because Jimmy likes you.” So now we have a bunch of adult women who are with men that treat them like crap, all under the guise of “He acts that way because he likes you”.
I also believe that we treat people how to treat us….If you allow somebody to treat you like you’re both in 3rd grade, that’s exactly what’s going to happen…
Just my 2 cents.

By: JJ

JJ — Tue, 19 May 2009 07:38:13 +0000

Hi Michelle,
I think it’s just innocent flirting, I just hate the fact that I get affected by it, it’s nothing to him but I ended up liking him. But since my heart stops fluttering every time I see him, I think the crush is dissipating. No worries, at least your questions helped put things into perspective. Thanks!

By: Michelle

Michelle — Mon, 18 May 2009 21:40:51 +0000

JJ,
i personally have been surrounded by guys most of my life, and in my observations, they just tease. What Jen said about him pulling 3rd grade behavior rang true, because that is the reinforced mode of interaction with women. They either train themselves out of it later in life when reactions change or the stick to their guns. Though, like Jeff says, they are probably thinking about sex with you, i wouldn’t say he is trying to lead you on. Since he is attached i think it is a none issue… could the crush be tuned out for now and the playful friendship continue, or is it an all or nothing situation? Personally he sounds like a cool guy and a fun friend, possibly not even aware that he is “flirting” with you. Or just playing the flirting game… and i just realized i didn’t really help you any, i’m sorry. Every situation is different, truly… good luck

By: JJ

JJ — Mon, 18 May 2009 06:01:20 +0000

I’m in a similar situation. There’s this person at work and he’s been teasing me, annoying me, making me laugh. You know, the usual hoopla. And the worst part about it? I have a crush on him now! But the horrible thing is, he’s attached. He did mention that he’s been having a rough patch with his gf (been with her for like 4 months) but other than that, there’s no mention of her at all. Tell me, when he teases me, always arguing with me,(playfully though), coming so close to me to read something or like most recently, (really I should say acting like a kid), took my hand, and wiped his wet hands on mine! Then proceeding to take a tissue to wipe my hands? Okay, what am I supposed to think of this? I’m trying to get over him but it’s not working. Maybe Lil henna is right. I should ignore him but we’re working beside each other and it’s hard not to laugh at his jokes or ignore him. He doesn’t do it to anyone else, so everyone’s teasing us now. I’m 25 so I didn’t think guys the same age did that. I’ll never approach him (no guts, yes) and he’s attached so I’ll never tell him I like him either. I hope he gets over teasing me so that I can move on.

By: mmagnolia

mmagnolia — Wed, 13 May 2009 05:28:24 +0000

Dear jen..jen G. the Supreme!

GoodNews/BadNews = get 2liking *asking* IF U [as Usay] like “knowing”!

In Romanceville, arrested [noncriminal] development is like icing on the cake! It’s 3rd grade….then, junior high….etc.
Lightheartedness, and Lightheadedness, canB make a GoodThing!
IF Mr.Alumnus is nonthreatening, what’s NOT 2enjoy! Some repugnance, there?

IF interested in R’ville w/Him, raise the bar on bluff: Ask Him O-U-T [e.g., Ms.AnneZ, above]!
If He shows fratBoy verve 2decline, show relief cuz Ucan’t date w/o older brother!

Don’t Wonder; Do Wonderfull!

By: jen

jen — Wed, 13 May 2009 04:30:48 +0000

Couture – don’t know. It’s not like he’s ever asked me out or anything or admitted anything.

By: Couture911

Couture911 — Tue, 12 May 2009 20:09:16 +0000

Selena–the intermittent response thing is 100% right on. I had the same thought.

and Jen–the probing to see if you have a bf is far more telling than any of his other behavior. He wants to know how available you are, and why would he want to know that?

By: Shelby

Shelby — Tue, 12 May 2009 19:20:51 +0000

My fiance is light-hearted ad silly by nature and has always acted this way, with his entire family including me. Yes, it’s a method of flirting, too. He acts silly because he’s silly by nature. It might just be his way of acting, his nature.

By: Jen G. the Supreme

Jen G. the Supreme — Tue, 12 May 2009 16:40:30 +0000

Anne it doesn’t make me uncomfortable or anything. I don’t mind he acts that way…I was just curious is all….I like KNOWING

By: AnneZ

AnneZ — Tue, 12 May 2009 16:11:06 +0000

Jen, if he is constantly interested in your datable status (bf references, phone intrigue) I would say it’s pretty clear he’s trying to flirt with you. You have two options.

1) if you like him back, you flirt back. You don’t have to ask the “awkward” question of why is he asking about your bf. Next time he brings it up, you say, “the job is open-are you applying for it?” That’s flirting 101. Proceed as Mother Nature directs you….

2) if you don’t like him back and want all this to stop you ice him out in some way, don’t laugh at the pranks, tell him you’re busy and on deadline, redirect his attention to something more appropriate and, if you must, start making references to the bf as if he was real. Say, “I’m flattered but I feel uncomfortable receiving so much attention–my bf would be hurt.” Or skip the bf myth and just say “I know you don’t mean to, but this makes me uncomfortable, can we stick to work?”

Jeff—Extremely interesting theory! And I’m going to go with it. I think it does explain a lot. A LOT! Thanks!