Comments on: He’s Not Interested Because She Lives Next Door?

By: brianna

brianna — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 06:10:18 +0000

how funny, the guy i’m into doesn’t want to be with me BECAUSE he’s dating the girl next door.

By: Lauren

Lauren — Wed, 20 May 2009 18:28:07 +0000

I agree with GoGirl’s observation that a lot of times women don’t go into a relationship, or even a potential relationship, with a clear idea of what is acceptable and what is not. Take it from a girl who’s been tooled around a few times herself- any excuse is just that, an excuse. Put yourself in an observer’s shoes. If a friend of yours was in the exact same situation you’re in now, what would you tell her?

I was in a situation once where a guy wanted to hang out with me and seemed to really like my company (and the fooling around), but just couldn’t give me a straight answer about where we stood. It took a while for me to realize that he just never saw it going anywhere with me, at least partly because he was into someone else, and I was pretty upset about it. My best friend gave me a piece of advice that I have remembered ever since. She said that I needed to stop wondering “why not me?” and start wondering “why him?” It really put the situation in perspective.

By: Shelby

Shelby — Sun, 17 May 2009 13:26:05 +0000

This guy straight out of the shoot knew he wasn’t interested in anything long-term and he flat-out made up this excuse about a relationship-gone-bad with a previous neighbor because he knew that he could always fall back on this excuse as to why he doesn’t want a relationship with you. He knew right away that he was never going to really “date” you, but didn’t want to jeopardize the convenience of booty-next-door. I am so tired of hearing from women, “But he’s so sincere.” Yeah, he’s “sincerely” F-ing you! F-ing you over! You must think this sap is some great catch to let this happen…or he has the gift of gab. Either way, grab what’s left of your self-respect and flee! You don’t deserve this. You do not want to waste time on this when you could be devoting time on anything in the world besides being screwed-over.

By: GoGirl

GoGirl — Sat, 16 May 2009 20:32:06 +0000

What you say is true Jeff. I wonder why we woman are so ready to give the benefit of the doubt to guys when they use lame excuses to keep from committment. He “can’t commit” because he lives next door..how about asking him how he can “have sex ” with you then..and listen to his answer..then BELIEVE it.
I believe these types of inequalities occur because women do not set the boundaries they want early on in the encounter and then cry “whoa is me” when the guy sets the bar. Women should be setting their own “bar” and thereby ensuring they don’t waste their time, energy and life on pathetic men like this guy.
Get rid of him…and don’t even give him the satisfaction of an explanation….just STOP engaging with him on any level.

You deserve the utmost respect from any guy who is lucky enough to be with you.

By: strawhat

strawhat — Sat, 16 May 2009 19:05:25 +0000

this guy doesn’t even have to try does he? how convenient to have neighbours like you and his last one
if someone told me they had DATED someone for 5 yrs i’d be wondering how long it takes him to know what he wants,
here you are following the same pattern,he’s getting all he wants with no committment and wasting your time
go find someone who wants you for who you are this guy is a habitual user and not worth your time or emotions

By: T

Sat, 16 May 2009 14:50:30 +0000

Heh. “God told me I can’t”? Wow.

Ya know, reading Jeff’s Manslations book has helped me to realize it’s either there or it isn’t. You can’t force these things and if it were real and honest, no excuse could keep him away.

Thanks Jeff for all of your bad assed Macness.

By: LK

LK — Fri, 15 May 2009 12:37:41 +0000

How about this one? “God told me I can’t”. Yes, a dude actually said this to me.

BTW Janet, it’s difficult to split up those FWB relationships, because they are so much fun. But any excuse other than “let me think about it – OK, you’re right, we belong together” should be cause for pause.

Good luck!

By: Selena

Selena — Fri, 15 May 2009 12:28:52 +0000

I’ve become romantically involved with neighbors before and it CAN be risky. Just like dating someone you work with, if things go sour, it can be awkward to have to be around/run into them on a frequent basis.

But this guy has been sleeping with you for 2 years!…much too late to pull out the “it’s a bad idea to get involved with your neighbor” line. He already is involved. His lame excuse is just his way of saying he wants to keep his options open if someone else comes along.

Why have you been going along with this for 2 years? If you want a *real* boyfriend, cut this guy loose.