Comments on: Do Men Want YOU to Fix Things Too?

By: Carmen

Carmen — Sat, 03 Jul 2010 20:35:45 +0000

I think that men who like to fix things enjoy the sense of accomplishment and need to feel appreciated, there is a lack of sincere appreciation in their life, or they feel taken for granted. By fixing something for someone he can earn your respect and admiration, this makes him feel good. He needs respect and admiration.

Also I might add if you invite him into your home to fix something, he gets a good look at who you are and what you do and if he likes it. And he is secretly hoping you will reward his efforts in pleasing you, by pleasing him in return. Tit for tat

All’s fair in love and war

By: Fran

Fran — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 17:05:09 +0000

It could be that sometimes he wants advice and sometimes he won’t. It doesn’t hurt to ask.

By: T

Thu, 21 May 2009 15:15:48 +0000

Thanks Jeff. Now I’m singing, “I’m down with OPP”….

Great advice. I never thought of this before. And hey! Now we know one way that men and women are alike.

Celebrate good times, come on!!

By: Jen

Jen — Wed, 20 May 2009 18:09:12 +0000

One thing that’s I think is helpful for couples (or people in general, like friends. ) is to start off a discussion/talk by telling the other person what it is you want/need from them. For instance, if it’s to vent, you could say: hey, I just wanted to vent and have you hear me out. If it’s for problem-solving, it could go: hey, I have a problem I’d like your input on. this way, you both start off on the same page and the other person knows what’s expected of them.

Then the other person should show that they heard by reflecting the emotion that the other person is expressing (e.g. Sounds like you’re frustrated because this, this this happened) if it’s a sharing thoughts/feelings conversation. Nodding your head (while good because it’s a good nonverbal) isn’t the same as verbally expressing that you get the other person’s perspective–that you get what they’re experiencing and going through. I think that could be helpful for getting people on the same page.

By: AnneZ

AnneZ — Wed, 20 May 2009 14:25:07 +0000

What to do when he’s venting? Reassure him that you’re on his team. “You DID work hard on that, baby, no one could have done better.” Etc.

The only other thing I would add since she’s specifically worried about him continuing to vent with her is to toss him the dog biscuits as well: “I love it when you share with me–I like to picture your work day.” Maybe choose that exact moment to pour him the beer. If he’s expressing frustrations, well, he’s frustrated. You get a perfect opportunity to tell him he’s a success at least at one thing–sharing with you.

You said the work situation is complex and you don’t really feel qualified to give advice. Couldn’t hurt to say so! “Baby, this is really tough stuff! I don’t know how you do it! I know you’ll figure it out and I can’t wait to see how you do because I know I’m gonna learn something.” Gives him points in the all important Bad Assery Dept as well as expresses your true state of mind.

(Thanks to Jeff for exposing the previously unknown but apparently critical Bad Assery Dept.!)