It’s Not You, It’s Me…
Well, manslatees of all stripes (vertical or horizontal stripes, your choice — we don’t discriminate here) some of you MIGHT have noticed that I’ve been away from the bloggishness for a little while. I had thought that after the move to New May-hee-co I’d likely just resume my normal Manslations schedule.
Erm…you can see how that one has worked out so far.
So here’s the deal.
After giving it much (WAAAAAY too much) thought, I’ve decided that the time has come for me to redirect my energies to whatever the next project turns out to be. And as a result, yep, I’m no longer going to be answering questions here on a regular basis. Maybe the odd post here and there (I know, I know, they’re ALL odd…) but I’m closing down the “regular answering questions” business for the moment. (Well, if by “business” you mean, “thing for which you don’t get paid.”)
I’ve had such a great time writing this site for the past couple of years, and I had a ton of fun writing the book. Mostly, I really enjoyed interacting with you all. I hope you’ve all had fun. I really enjoyed meeting you all in an electronical ones-and-zeroes kind of way, and wish you nothing but the best of luck in understanding dudes in the future.
The main thing is, I’ve got to move ahead to whatever my next writing project is going to be. Dunno what it is, but I’ll be sure and let you know when I figure it out. And if you will befriendify me on Facebook and/or Twitter, you can keep up with whatever other crazy, hare-brained schemes I come up with next. And that way I can keep up with you guys as well.
Well, ladies, the training wheels are off and you’re on your own. The boys are all out there a-waiting for ya. And always remember: if you’re wracking your brain trying to figure out your dude…well…you’re almost certainly wracking the wrong thing.
And if I haven’t given you a good enough reason for my de-manslification, here are a few others:
- It’s not you, it’s me.
- You deserve a better blogger than me.
- I’m just not looking for a serious blog right now.
- I’ve just been crazy busy.
- I’ve been hurt by blogs before, and my feelings for this blog are scaring me.
- I think I still have feelings for my old blog.
- I blog you, but I’m not IN blog with you.
I’ll miss you guys, but of course, I’m not actually disappearing off the face of the earth — Albuquerque was as close as I could come to that.
Good luck and much love,
-Jeff Mac
Posted: August 17th, 2009 under Manslations News.
Comments
Comment from x
Time August 17, 2009 at 11:06 am
Jeff, I can’t thank you enough for your excellent work so far in manslations and the book !
your humorous advice along with loads of wisdom and common-sense ( which is not so common now a days ) have made my days !
Good Luck for your future projects and you’ll be dearly missed !
Comment from Sara
Time August 17, 2009 at 11:09 am
Thanks for all the advice! I wish you the best of luck in whatever crazy scheme you come up with next! As my best friend often says, maybe you have a Renaissance soul like me, always yearning to explore new things! Can’t wait to see what you find. =)
Comment from MamaB
Time August 17, 2009 at 12:27 pm
Well…you’ll be missed. I was highly entertained by Manslations. I consider it a success. Here’s to another great success!
Comment from luckydave
Time August 17, 2009 at 2:13 pm
That’s my birthday present? Some friend you are, Mr. Mac. If that is your real name. If you ever get tired of being in the middle of nowhere, obviously, NYC would love to have you back. Until then, I guess you’ll just be quirky out there. (Get it? I’ll be quirky?)
Really, all the best to you and Liz. Of course, I expect to be kept up-to-date on future projects and other books of yours that I may sell with the words of my mouth.
Comment from Melissa
Time August 17, 2009 at 4:56 pm
Adios to you, Jeff, wherever your path takes you.
You’ve been a great source of advice and very generous with your time with these gals that have needed to hear it from’s a man’s point of view.
Not to mention funny as hell and right on the money at the same time.
They have your book, which is a nice legacy…one that keeps on tickin’, so to speak.
Wishing you the best,
Melissa
Comment from Jessica
Time August 17, 2009 at 7:30 pm
I’m going to miss you Jeff! Your insightful advises with jabs of humour have kept me up many late nights laughing away! Loved your book! I’m sure that without a doubt, whatever you do next will be phenomenal!
Glad I have you on F.B! Do update us =)
Lots of love and warm regards,
Jessica Jaisree
Comment from Susan
Time August 17, 2009 at 7:40 pm
Jeff, totally understand where you’re coming from on this (except I’ve never been to New Mexico…but I’d like to visit and have seen pictures, if that counts). Your sense of humor, encouragement and, yes, straight talk about men did help me these last few years. A lot. I believe it even helped me recognize the wonderful man I will be marrying in a few months — something I’m not sure I would have been able to do without your column. At least not as easily, ya know.
So, my friend, keep writing, exploring and enjoying your wonderful new life. Keep in touch with your faithful manslatees. Your job here is done.
All best to you,
Susan
Comment from LK
Time August 18, 2009 at 4:50 am
Jeff – sorry to hear. Really. But your blog has been a lot of fun and frankly informative. We have appreciated your candidness and can’t wait to see what your new endeavors will be!
All the best. Enjoy the sun.
Comment from LA Lady
Time August 18, 2009 at 4:47 pm
Jeff – you will be missed. I loved to check out your blog and get my giggle for the day. Hopefully your next project will also elicit laughs.
Have you thought about a daily column describing the transition from big city to small city guy? Something a la Dave Barry? You would be perfect at it!
Anyway best of luck to you and Liz, I added you as a friend on Facebook and will look for updates on your progress occasionally.
Comment from Sara
Time August 19, 2009 at 9:51 am
Typical man, we come to love you and you leave us..
Just another thing to talk about with my therapist.
Just kidding, well about the therapist thing anyway 
Good luck!!
Comment from mmagnolia
Time August 23, 2009 at 8:25 pm
Dearie JM [& LadyLiz]!
Honestly had someSense of being adrift–in a wonderful way! MerciBouquets 4evr!
Fare-Thee-Well was my Mom’s Mom’s favorite sendoff, and it’s tendered 2U because You shared invaluable gifts!
Seriously: Does this mean we’ll never know what U2 name *The Baby*!!
LiveLong & Prosper, w/Best Blessings!!
Comment from Onely
Time August 23, 2009 at 9:09 pm
We will miss you! Alburquerque is a very lucky city.
Christina
Comment from Robin
Time August 25, 2009 at 4:54 pm
Jeff,
I truly enjoyed this blog. It was awesome and I am totally going to miss it.
I just started dating again after a hiatus and was looking forward to getting my “insider tips” from you, but, no worries, I’ll *sniff* manage….
Seriously, you did an awesome job and I wish you nothing but the absolute best on your next project.
Comment from Carly
Time August 26, 2009 at 3:50 am
We love you Jeff Mac we doooo, oooohhh Jeff Mac we’ll miss you!! And your pearls : )
Comment from hunter
Time August 29, 2009 at 11:14 am
aaahhhaaa!, I knew it, a new home, creates changes in a persons life!…hhmmmhh…
Comment from mmagnolia
Time August 29, 2009 at 11:50 am
Hi…hun!
Good2Read… Uback!
Yep, U’re right agin! A “new home” is one o’dem “changes”!
Cheers2Being Changeable!
Comment from PT-LawMom
Time September 8, 2009 at 8:32 pm
Aww bummer! Good luck with what lies ahead!
Comment from Heather
Time September 25, 2009 at 4:53 pm
Thank you. Thank you. Don’t turn off the search bar…k.
See you on fb and twitter. All the best.
Comment from Jenny
Time October 2, 2009 at 6:00 am
O no I have secretley been reading this jyous blog for he past 6 months and feel I have learnt alot but no where near everything! O well… maybe you never are meant to know it all I guess.. thanks any way!
Comment from TC
Time October 2, 2009 at 11:52 am
Man….I just recently found you. Well, I guess I can read all the archives that I missed out on. I have truely enjoyed reading all of your blogs and I hope you the best where ever you end up. And I will deffinately be purchasing your book. Best Wishes & Good Luck to Y…O…U!!!
Comment from Elly Rencontre
Time October 8, 2009 at 2:32 am
Thank you for that great job. i didnt leave message but read many of your articles…Good job. Good luck for the future!
Comment from cath
Time October 27, 2009 at 12:22 pm
But hey, you forgot to say I hope we can still be friends.
Comment from Katya
Time December 7, 2009 at 8:48 am
Just found out about this website recently. Too bad you’re not taking on new questions.
I know you probably won’t read this but I just feel kinda stuck and feel like I have to speakout what’s on my mind..
I just don’t know who to turn to for advice 
The problem is: My boyfriend and I have known each other for 4 years now. He is 23 and I’m almost 24 by the way. Though we live seperated for 2 years now. I gave him an ultimatum 2 years ago because all of a sudden he withdrew. He started coming home late and never had time for me. I felt alone so I broke up with him. After the break up we decide to stay friends and kept in touch. We kept calling each other once in a while, maybe 1 time in 2-3 weeks. Right now we live 2 hours from each other so the phone is our only source of keeping in touch with each other.
5 months ago we decided we cannot live without each other and wanted to give it another try. We’re planning to move in very soon.
We made that decision 5 months ago and things are moving slowly. A little off schedule to say the least.
I’ve lost my job so the money is tight. He doesn’t have a great paying job as well and makes just enough to get by. Problem is: We don’t see each other.
Now I’ve heard it a million times….If a guy loves you he will move mountains and he will find a way to travel this 2 hours just to see you.
Lately I’ve started to believe it and I just feel so insecure.
It just doesn’t feel like we’re lovers…In the past 5 months we’ve only seen each other 2-3 times. The money is tight and the tickets for public transport are way to expensive.
And as if that were not enough…his cell phone broke. I cannot reach him. And so I wait till he calls me. The worst part is…he only calls me once in a while. Yeah you’ve heard that right…once in a while.
Sometimes I don’t hear from him in weeks. He only calls me 1 time in 1-2 weeks and when he calls we have less than 5 minutes of conversation. He says he is busy with work. I think he is just to proud to admit that he has no money to call me since its very important in his culture to be a provider for the woman.
I really love him but I just dont know how to handle this situation. Im stuck. Is it the lack of money for phone calls and train tickets or am I really not his number one priority?
I just dont know whats going on…and most of all I dont know how to go about asking him why he is acting the way he is. What’s the reason for his lack of calls? I wish I could get into his mind and find out what he is thinking.
I don’t even know how to bring the subject up as I dont want to upset him and make him upset/mad. Hope someone can help me. =(
Comment from mmagnolia
Time December 7, 2009 at 5:37 pm
Oh…Dear Ms. Katya,
First thought is that more communication is an absolute necessity–absolutely!
Cheapest, quickest can be emailing each other—even via public library computers. Yes, You need to ask questions IF You want answers versus *wonderings*.
Your concern about raising relationship issues which can “make him upset/mad” is a Basic Problem which obstructs much fruitful *relating*! If ego or pride ranks First for either One, The Happy Ending is made impossible and improbable!
On the brightest side: Two can live cheaper than one! If job hunting can be best where He is which is where-U-were, consider returning! There’s only one way to know if *He* would like that: Ask! If response is lukewarm, Ask Why!
Weak heart fails, so be valiant!
Best Blessings on Both of Your Hearts!
Comment from X
Time December 16, 2009 at 6:04 am
Dear Katya,
You can direct questions to my favorite blogger like Jeff is, who also gives great advice – http://happygirlmusing.blogspot.com
My personal opinion is that, if he really liked you, he would have made time to email you atleast once in 2-3 days if he really liked you that much.Without having much communication with him at all, I don’t think moving with him would be wiser ! Think again , girl friend !
Wishing you the best,
Cheers,
- X
Comment from Laura
Time August 17, 2009 at 7:28 am
Well we’d kinda guessed that this is where it was going, so compliments to you for teaching us all so well.
Im sure whatever you do next will be fantastic… all the best!