manslations

You know, sometimes the third sentence makes you spit out your Irish oatmeal with the blueberries in it. Today was one of those days.

I have been dating this young guy for almost 5 months. Our relationship has been great until today. Well, it wasn’t perfect: I am married and we see each other twice a week only.

Holy crap. Wow, that really isn’t perfect, is it? Do you also describe getting a root canal as, “It was awesome…well, except for the excruciating pain“?

But I was and I am in love with him very much and he was always caring and loving with me too. Today he said he can not keep seeing me Read more »

A reader named Tara is with a guy…except in front of his pals. Does this mean Booty Call? Well…maybe.

What does it mean when the guy you are with introduces you to his buddies as “my friend”?  As is “this is my friend so and so”, nice to meet you… On top of that the guy only shows public displays of affection (i.e. hand  holding/ kissing) when his buddies are not around.  Is this a sign that you are in the “booty call” category?

Dear Tara,

Well, it seems to me that there is only one reason why Read more »

Well, kookookachoo, Mrs. Robinson. A reader, cleverly named, “I so want to rock his cradle” wants to…you know…rock a young man’s cradle. But she didn’t start it. He’s been showing interest in HER. And she wants to know why. I’m-a tell her.

Dear Mac,
I’m a frequent reader, hell I’m an everyday reader, actually, I’m borderline stalker, I’ve read your book over & over, googled your name, watch your videos on youtube, bought your book for my friends.  Don’t panic, I don’t know where you live….yet (just kdding, I swear!)

Hey, if you think I’m Read more »

A reader who’s Feeling Frisky wants to understand how long you have to wait on the sex before you can be reasonably sure a guy isn’t only in it for the sex. Oh sure, a nice simple one for Friday.  Sheesh.

You’ve addressed the when can we have sex question in your column(whenever you want) but one thing you mentioned is that by waiting the man’s intentions may be revealed and you can weed out players. Read more »

A reader named Aleta wants to know what it means when a guy is nice for a couple of days, and then in the light of the full moon, he becomes a weredouche. What might this mean? Let’s find out…

Okay…I thought that women were supposed to be the moody ones. What is this with a guy who is sweet and loving for two or three days and then…turns into Godzilla for 3 or 4 days? could it be that being decent and sweet terrifies him so that he has to be an absolute idiot to make up for it? Help…is this bipolar? what is going on? is this a man thing?

Argh.

Dear Aleta,

First of all, I love that you thought that women were supposed to be moodier than men. Hilarious. And (as you now well know) untrue. So, why might Read more »

Aaaaaand, we’re back. Sorry for the interruption, folks. The new version of WordPress made it all cattywampus for me to format things properly. I hope you’ve used the time away wisely. Gosh, I know I didn’t.

Oh, and before I forget, you should all check out Jennifer Priest’s blog. She’s a life coach who was kind enough to write a review of Manslations: Decoding the Secret Language of Men. Read her stuff and begin loving her immediately, please.

Today, we’ve got a really quick question. Why would a man bother dealing with having an affair for four whole years?  Said mistress wants to know…

I came over to the UK and I have been dating a man for almost 4 years and he is married! Why would he do that? What is the point of dealing with a wife and a mistress at the same time.

Dear Taylor,

Well, while you’re wondering, I’ve got to allow my own personal wonderer to try one on for size: Why would YOU do this? I mean, not that Read more »

This is a test of the emergency Manslations system. This is only a test. If this were an actual Manslations emergency…er…oh, there really aren’t any of those, so nevermind.

Hi there, Manslatees. It’s Jeff Mac, reporting to you live from the universe in which the new version of WordPress has screwed with my ability to post properly.

The bad news is that I’ll have to sort this out before I can post anything else.

The good news? Erm…this will give you all time to buy and read Manslations: Decoding the Secret Language of Men. Or go on back and look at some of the archives!

Because, I mean, what else IS there to do? Nothing, I says. Nothing.

Hopefully, I shall be back soon with more answers to your awesome questions!

A reader named Tatum broke up with her ex about a year ago. And a funny thing started happening a few months ago. Not funny ha-ha, per se. Or funny strange, really. But it happened, though. Oh, it happened.

Ahem. One of her ex’s best friends started texting. As “friends.” What is this all about? Well, let’s get started. I’ve got one eyebrow raised, Spock-style, in anticipation of something…”fascinating.”

Hi Jeff. First of all, I love your book. All those situations are funny because they’re true. Second, I’ll start by saying that it’s been a year since my boyfriend of 8 months broke up with me. I’ve recovered from the drama. Well, a few months back, I received a text message from one of his best friends. It was strange because Read more »

Maria has a delivery guy who she believes is interested. In her, I’m saying. Not just “generally interested in things.” Why would she write to me about that? Come on, people.

Anyway, she just wants the news — good, bad or indifferent. Is he, or isn’t he? And how can I tell?

Let’s take a look at the details, shall we? Sure, says I.

Hi Jeff, A devoted lurker and reader am I but you said keep it short so i won’t gush.

Hm. Hoisted on my own petard, there. When I wanted these things to be short, I didn’t realize that would cut down on the compliments, too.  Eh, easy come, easy go.

Here is my question. A delivery guy has been Read more »

A reader named Betsy wants to understand what a man’s talking about when he says all that stuff about “not believing that people are meant to be with one person…etc.” Always a dealbreaker? Nope, not always (says the guy who used to say that stuff and is now married.)

But it sometimes sure is. Let’s see what’s going on with Betsy’s man.

So what’s your take on “future talk”  and how real it usually is?  As in, my guy and I are inching toward the marriage talk, have been doing the “when we do this” about something in the future for awhile, etc., etc.  Fine with all that – pace is fine, all is fine.  However, we’re both realists when it comes to romance and he often Read more »