manslations

We’ve got a young’un here, folks. A young lady named Melissa has some prom issues, and wants to know what her guy’s all about. I think he’s wondering the same thing about HER, myself. Let’s take a look:

What does it mean when a guy says “I really like you” and also about a prom: :”I knew I was going to go but I didn’t know with whom.. who would’ve thought i would end up going with you” and “Who would you go with if I wasn’t here”?

Dear Melissa,

Honestly, it sounds like he Read more »

So, at the return of an old boyfriend, we start in, like, ninth gear. She asks for a bit of a slowdown, and he stops entirely. What’s up with that? I think I have an idea, but let’s get some more info.

Basic facts…An old bf came back into my life recently. We talked about getting back together possibly marriage. I told him that he needed to take things a little slower. The next day, he tells me that he’s thought about things and he’s not ready for a relationship..why would things have gone from slow to stop overnight?

Dear TEM,

First of all, I love that Read more »

Seems like we’ve got a guy who’s squirming his way out of Mindy’s life, except when he’s feeling low/vulnerable/sick/drunk. What, oh what, could he possibly want? Well, the trick there is to see what he’s getting. Lemme splain.

This guy I’ve been seeing; spends 4-5 weekends with me and then tells me with his schedule so busy its not feasible. But still wants to talk and see each other whenever possible. He sends me text messages when he’s sick, drunk, or had a bad week/day wanting to see me (1/2 those times we didn’t have sex. So I’m confused). What does he want from me?

Dear Mindy,

Ok, let’s break down what happened with you guys based upon what HE received:

STEP ONE: TAKING A WHACK AT IT

Sounds like you guys had a little booty, a few weeks of fun. He gave the standard reply when the relationship train is pulling out of the station.

Basically, what the “scheduling complaint” really means is, “Don’t count me doing anything I don’t feel like doing.” Let’s face it, nobody in the history of humanity has ever been “too busy” for someone they really felt committed to. Doesn’t happen that way.

STEP TWO: STILL SEEING EACH OTHER “WHENEVER POSSIBLE”

I’m not sure what the “whenever possible” means. But you two do get together. Sometimes. My guess is that “whenever possible” translates to “whenever it’s convenient for him,” right?

STEP THREE: TEXTING WHEN BAD THINGS ARE HAPPENING

He’s sick, he’s drunk, he’s had a bad week. Enter his interest in YOU.

What does all of this add up to?

BEST OPTION AVAILABLE

That’s how he appears to see you. He’s getting you on HIS terms, which means that he doesn’t really see your relationship as something worth compromising for. He doesn’t want to have a regular relationship, but he DOES want to have you WHEN HE FEELS LIKE IT.

Is this likely to change? Sure, when he meets someone he really likes, it will sure change. But until then, what he wants from you? It’s this. This very thing. He wants you on his terms, and he wants you out of his hair otherwise.

Not great news, Mindy. Just don’t get suckered into thinking that this is MORE than it is.  Cuz if he wanted more, there’s no reason he couldn’t just have it.

What do you think this guy is after, miladies?

You know, I confess that sometimes I want to answer a question just because of the pen name that the reader has chosen for herself. Today, we hear from “To the Convent I Go,” who is having a bumpy sorta-breakup after a near-relationship. She’s wondering if guys in this state of mind ever turn around and come back.

Let’s get us some details, shall we?

I am desperate in need of a manslation. I just ended a 7mo relationship.  If you can even call it that.  We did all the things you typically would in a relationship, without the title.  He told me 4mos in that he did not want Read more »

Kay has a question about a long-standing booty call she’s involved with. If it’s the same woman for a year (and we’ll have to take her word for it that we’re sure she’s the only one) does that mean he’s got feelings for her? Will it always be sex?

The answer will surpr…well, no, it likely won’t surprise most of you.

if a man keeps calling the same female for sex and it is going on a year does he have feelings for her or will it always be sex?

Dear Kay,

I’ll put it this way. If a man behaves a specific way toward a woman — let’s call her “you” — for a year, what it means is that Read more »

We see on TV and in the movies the myth of the “man who isn’t getting enough sex from the wife.” Usually in really stupid and annoying TV and movies, but still.  We don’t see the reverse depicted quite as often, but it’s out there.

Meet Linda. Her sex life is on life support, and she’s practically ready to pull the plug. Let’s hold a mirror up to check for breathing before I run out of ways to drive this metaphor into the ground. To the manslatormobile, let’s go!

(MANSLATOR’S NOTE: Ohhh, if only there was a manslatormobile…)

Hi there.  Ive been living with my boyfriend for 6 months now. We had been in a long distance relationship for almost 2 years prior to that. He is very affectionate with me…constantly hugging, kissing and wanting closeness… except there is no real sex between us. He sometimes asks for Read more »

When a young lady named herself “One Helpless Girlfriend” you know that either she’s at the end of her rope, or she had really sadistic parents. Her question: do guys — the compulsive FIXERS — want you to fix THEM when they’re venting? The answer will almost definitely surprise you, because it’s probably “no.”

Of course, I just ruined the surprise. But in my defense, well, I’m not very patient.

On to the question and the full(er) answer.

I have heard relationship advice that men want to fix things and this makes it difficult for them to understand when we women just want to vent to them and are not looking for solutions.

What a coincidence. I have given such advice! Based upon very, very extensive and brutal Read more »

Wendy’s got a man who…well, no, that’s not quite true. Wendy’s been seeing a man who’s already “got.” He’s cheating, and Wendy’s tired of being the other woman. Trouble is, she’s been having a hard time making the breakup stick, and wants to know how to get the point across.

My advice? You’re aiming your point in the wrong direction. Huh-wha? Yeah, cryptic, I know. You’ll just have to read onward. Deal with it, people. Deal. With. It.

I want to end a relationship with a manipulating and cheating man.Im the OTHER woman. He is not married but lives with his girlfriend.I have tried to end it before. But he always comes back.If he treats her that way he will me that way. I completely realize this.He takes advantage of my feeling for him.I want to get over him so i can Read more »

Janet has had it with her friend-with-bennies. He’s given her what she believes is the most weak-assed excuse she’s ever heard. They can’t date because…she’s literally the girl next door. Can this possibly be for real? Let’s find out more.

This seems to me to be the lamest excuse ever. I’ve been hanging out with my friend who happens to live almost next door. We always have a great time together and great sex. After two years of this he says he can’t commit because Read more »

Maya has been a good reader and went straight to the archives to try to figure her situation out, but she just can’t find her sitch. Evidently I haven’t covered it, and in a way, I blame myself.Well, no more bs. I’m going to answer this thing like gangbusters, and I don’t care who knows it.

She wants to know if an LDR is a possibility, and how to bring it up. Well, that’s not ALL she wants. I think part of this manslation is going to be a womanslation. Let’s get her question before I start totally blowing minds left and right.

Dear Jeff,

I am a total Manslations devotee and search your archives every time I have a question about my relationship or need to Read more »