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Archive for 'Celebrity Manslations'

Manslations News Roundup: No Sky-Nooky Edition

It’s another Friday in paradise, people, and that means only one thing* — it’s time for another edition of the Manslations News Roundup. *It probably means more things than that, but I’m not going to sit here and list all the things it means, ok? We’re all busy so let’s just get on with our [...]

Manslations News Roundup: I-Draw-The-Line-at-Cannibalism Edition

Well, well, well. Here we are again. Another Friday, another Manslations News Roundup. Are we going to get started? Yes. Yes we are. – ROBERT RODRUIGUEZ WANTS ROSE MCGOWAN TO PLAY BARBARELLA. EVERYBODY ELSE? MMMM…NOT SO MUCH. Filmmaker Robert Rodriguez appears to be losing ground in his battle to cast his new fiance in the [...]

Manslations News Roundup: Another Ingenious Aussie Pervert Edition

Welcome back to yet another installment of my weekly tradition: The Manslations News Roundup. In it, we see a dead ostrich, talking butts, (another!) freaky-deaky Aussie dude, and we begin with the return of LiLo. Let’s go! – LINDSAY LOHAN STEALS ANOTHER WOMAN’S FIANCE. A LONE PERSON, SOMEWHERE, WAS SHOCKED TO HEAR IT. You know, [...]

Manslations News Roundup: Orangutans-Prefer-Blondes Edition

Welcome back to another edition — and possibly the most Corey-filled edition ever — of Manslations News Roundup. Let’s get right into it, if for no other reason than…well, it involves the Coreys. – THE COREYS ARE IN THE “TOP TEN MOVIE BADASSES”: WORLD RESPONDS “WAIT…OH YEAH, THEY DID USED TO DO MOVIES…” This, my [...]

Manslations News Roundup: Condoms-for-the-Meek Edition

Welcome to Friday, people. And welcome to another Manslations News Roundup where I, Jeff Mac, boldy scour the internet for stuff. Shall we read on? Dare we wait? We dare not — Let’s go! – “SEX & THE CITY” MOVIE SPOILERS LEAKING OUT: MEN WAIT WITH…UH…UN-BATED BREATH? (No spoilers will be revealed here.) Look, ladies, [...]

Manslations News Roundup: Cheaters-Never-Win Edition

Welcome back, my friends, to the Manslations News Roundup series that never ends. It’s Friday, and you all know what that means. Let’s do this thing… – Hillary Duff’s Boyfriend Buys Her a Mercedes for her Birthday So THAT’s who those moronic car-with-a-giant-bow-on-it commercials are targeting… By the way, on behalf of all NON-millionaire boyfriends [...]

Manslations News Roundup: Self-Love-Obsessed Burglar With ADD Edition

People, Friday has come, and not a second too soon. I need to sleep. But before I do, how’s about some Manslations News Roundup action? Yes? Let’s do it. – BRAD & ANGELINA AND THE BIG BED THEORY Brad Pitt, in support of his latest movie in which he plays…I don’t know, somebody really hot [...]

Manslations News Roundup: National Day of Humping Edition

If this is your first Friday here at Manslations.com, today is the day where each week I, Jeff Mac, take a few stories from around the world and manslate them. Right here, before your very eyes. It’s like those restaurants where they make guacamole right at the table. Except the guacamole you get here is [...]

Manslations News Roundup: Full Vermontal Nudity Edition

It’s that time again, Manslatees. It’s time for our Friday news roundup, where I manslate stories from around the globe, and beyond! (Well, probably not ‘beyond.’ It’s pretty much just the globe.) Let’s get started, shall we? – Brad Pitt: ‘I Did All I Could to Ease Pain of Split with Aniston’ Poor Brad. He [...]

Manslations News Roundup: Ex Husband’s Incinerated Genitals Edition

Yes, it is finally Friday, and that means one thing — we’re back with another edition of the weekly Manslations News Roundup. Read it up, people of Earth! -Justin Timberlake Shopping for a Ring for Jessica Biel If the rumors are true, Justin is looking to buy her a ring. This is a terrifying moment [...]